I, too, am bipolar. I've been suicidal. I've gone down that road. There are times when you get so desperate, and everything hurts so much, you reach out to inappropriate people and places. Almost like you are seeking permission to hurt yourself, in a weird way. If the author of this letter carelessly said "fine, go off yourself" then Chatty Mage might have done just that. Kudos to him for taking this seriously.

Remember, if you are actively suicidal, then in the USA if you go to the emergency room they HAVE to accept you. If you are going to harm yourself or someone else, have a plan, and the will to do so, GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. They may keep you at that hospital, send you to another one, or hook you up with whatever you can afford. YOU DO NOT NEED INSURANCE FOR THIS!

If, for whatever reason you cannot get to the ER on your own, you can call 911. Tell them you are suicidal. They can send someone to you. They can, and will help you.

No matter what, it is not worth taking your own life. I swear to you, speaking as someone who has been to the bottom of that emotional pit, it can and will get better. You just need to give it a chance. If you kill yourself and end everything, you will never have the chance to have the happiness that could have been yours. You may feel like you are drowning, but if you reach out for help, a hand will be there to grab yours and hold on.