It's time to face the facts. The vampires are out there.

They lurk in the shadows of Silvermoon with their bare, glittering chests entrancing casual bystanders. Theirs is the skin of monsters. Their cunning angst and perfectly tousled hair threatens a new generation of Azerothian teenagers. They are vile and unrepentant. It doesn't matter if you claim that you can't be a vampire; the Blood Prince Council beckons like a tempting cupcake. "Eat me," they say with voices like chocolate frosting. "Forbidden fruit!"

But how can we possibly fight these vile fiends? What can we do to stave off our pale, cold future?

Ladies and gentlemen of the readership jury, I present to you: Stakethrower.

Stakethrower is crafted from the very finest engineering know-how. Its barrel packs enough Light-blessed silver to burn scars on thousands of vampires. The bayonette is crafted from metal retrieved from the Cathedral in Stormwind. The trigger is more sensitive than a teenager worried about their pants.

Capable of hurling stakes and bullets, the Stakethrower is the very finest sidearm available to modern-day vampire hunters. Pick yours up today in your local Icecrown Citadel!

The vital statistics for your last line of defense are just below.

Name: Stakethrower
Type: Ranged Gun (that throws stakes)
Damage: 500 - 836 Damage, 222.7 damage per second (with stakes that are thrown)
Speed: 3.00 (takes a little while to get a new stake in the barrel)
Attritbutes:

• 45 Agility
• 32 Stamina
• Improves haste rating by 28 (0.85% @ L80)
• Increases attack power by 70.
• Increases your armor penetration rating by 31 (2.21% @ L80)
• Decreases the number of vampires in your area

How to get it: You only need 9 friends to kill Blood Queen Lana'thel. Nine, for what it's worth, is the number of vampires in the Cullen family, if you count Bella. Coincidence? Unlikely. I suspect there's secretly a Twi-heart on the Blizzard staff.

How to get rid of it: It sells for 17 gold, or can become an Abyss Crystal. However, if you lose this protection, you could also lose your life, and become one of the gruesome vampires. Is that really worth 17 gold?

Tags: cullens, fat-lewt, fat-loot, featured, stakethrower, vampires, world-of-warcraft-items, world-of-warcraft-loot, wow-item, wow-items, wow-loot

Filed under: Phat Loot Phriday