The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on guild happenings, raid progression rankings, player milestones and more. Have guild news or a Random Act of Uberness to share? E-mail TheClassifieds@wow.com.

Bored between ICC raids? Looking for some fun to pass the time until Cataclysm? Why not three-man Onyxia? Three players from <Under the Influence> and <Alliance Regulators> on US Kul Tiras-A recently took down the 10-man version of the ol' girl herself. The eloquently named Humandude and his partners in crime, Mastarjuice and Darkdaemon (two paladins and a 'lock), pulled out the kill in 25 minutes after nine wipes and buffs including scrolls, drums, flasks and their own group buffs.

"Our strat was to have the warlock focus on the big adds while occasionally seeding down the whelps," Humandude reports. "Consecration and our tank's Seal of Command DPS tank spec took care of the majority of the adds. Our warlock, after (we killed) the big add, took a few shots at Onyxia and dotted her up, then went back to his focus fire and Seed rotation. On a side note, he was destruction, because we needed replenishment."

More on the Onyxia take-down plus several other feats of meta-gaming magic, this week's massive set of Random Acts of Uberness, our new looking for guild section and more, after the break.

(Watch Part 2 of the three-man Onyxia take-down here.) Humandude continued with a breakdown of the Onyxia short-man: "Our warlock was doing about 6.2k single-target DPS on the boss, while doing 20-30k DPS when Seeding. Our tank was at a 3k constant single-target, while doing 5-6k on adds at all times. I, as a healer, was boasting a 40k mana pool. I used FoL for phases 1/3 for easy mana return; for phase 2, I alternated between HL and FoL spamming. Since (the video) is from my point of view, to avoid criticism, I did not Beacon in phase 1 because of the waste of mana, since (that phase is) single-target healing. And phase 2/3, I kept it up while spam healing either the warlock or myself, since our tank constantly got out of range and we took a lot of stray damage from adds and such." Nice work, guys; looks like you had a lot of fun with the process.

<The Returners> (US Daggerspine-A) like high-stress encounters, too. They ran 10-man Marrowgar recently with only one tank, one healer and eight DPS (and got him on the first try!). "Initially, our cameraman wasn't going to record it, for fear of possible lag during a high-stress fight where it was very important that everyone refrain from taking as little damage as possible," writes Vorpal, "but once he saw his frame rates were good, he fired up the video halfway through." Good thing -- and good run!

Here's another player who's aching for glorious punishment. Deathspiral of US Spirestone-H is blogging his stab at racking up every single achievement (up to Patch 3.3) in a single year's time. Stop by his blog to cheer him on.

But wait -- we have another who's taking metagaming to new heights of fun ridiculousness. Blayze of EU Karazhan-H is leveling with nothing but auto attack. That's right: No skills (he has rank 1 Heroic Strike, but no weapon to use it with), no talents, no equipment, no Hearthstone, no items (not even consumables or fist weapons) except for quest items, no professions, no mount, no groups, no raids, no looting ... and he's on a PvP server. "I had a slight quibble on the 'no looting' front with 4 copper, but I'm currently leveling in a starting area -- mobs respawn so quickly they tend to get buried under my unlooted victims," he notes. "I was going to do 'no quests' as well, but that would just be crazy talk. We'd be at level 100 content before I'd hit level 50." What Blayze lacks in resources, he makes up for in spirit. "Karazhan EU, Horde-side -- look for Blayze," he invites. "If you want to grief me, bring it. After all, what's the worst that could happen ... Repair bills?" /zing

And if doing things the hardest way possible still isn't enough for you, try doing it at a lower level IRL. "I just read a Classifieds column that mentioned a group that used a 7-year-old as their tank in a heroic dungeon and thought I would write in about my son," writes reader Michael. "He is 6 and has been playing WoW for two years now. . . . The other day, I was running ICC on my hunter and was called away. I thought I would have to ruin the raid for everyone. My son said he could do it for me until I got back. I talked to the raid leader about it, and she said they would give it a shot. Well, with a little help and a lot of patience from my guildmates, they got their rep runs done. I have been listening to how well my son played all week for them, and he is just beaming that he was allowed to run in a raid. I am very proud of him. He played his best and was very polite and listened to all the instructions. I have a great guild with some very great people in it. Thanks to the members of <Dragon Raiders Xtreme> on US Shu'halo-A; you guys are the best."

Random Acts of Uberness

It's official: our readers are so uberlicious now that we're going to have to hold your Random Acts of Uberness to a 100-word limit. Send your shout-outs of no more than 100 words to TheClassifieds@wow.com. We love every single submission (and judging from the reader traffic, you do too), and we plan to keep running all that will possibly fit ... So keep 'em coming!

Kittywampus, US Maiev-H Running heroic UP and Ocu today ... enter Kittywampus, a cat druid from Maiev. . . . He set a blistering pace and never lost aggro, even with a retadin who insisted on judging every pull before he could get into melee range. He was polite, helpful and absolutely deadly. We blitzed through UC and Ocu in less than half an hour. Kittywampus had done more than a good job tanking; he reminded us of the value of patience, professionalism, politeness and the sheer potential for awesomeness in bear form. Give this guy some kind of medal! /cast Dire Bear Form /dance -- Farrath, US Uther-H

Rampage battlegroup PUG It was around midnight server time when myself and my guildy Ohsata ... went in for a random heroic dungeon. . . . I think to myself "this will be a breeze!" -- then I see our 5.7k Gearscored tank, Serben (US Whisperwind-A) sitting at 35k health. . . . We proceed to tear through the damn dungeon, as would be expected. . . . I take a gander at our tank's gear and wasn't quite shocked to find that he was sporting a PvP/ret set. But the great fun happened as we headed to Anub. My guildy and the hunter (Spaceranger of US Hellscream-A) of the group wound up locked out of the boss fight. Yet between myself (feral cat), our epic win tank, and a rogue (Mobit of US Illidan-A), we stomped 'Noob into the ground, even pretty close to the achieve timer at that. I only wish I'd been able to say something to the epic pally Serben, and to Mobit and Spaceranger as well, for making that one of the most amusing dungeons I have ever run. -- Alarys, <ONE KNIGHT STAND>, US Alexstrasza-A

Gamb, US Gul'Dan-H Tonight I had a great druid tank named Gamb . . . in a random Sunken Temple group. He was methodical in his work. The DPS pulled aggro A LOT, but he never complained. . . . The token blood elf newbie rogue who just attacked whoever he felt like never received a harsh word from Gamb; he just ran over and pulled the mob off him and gathered them all back up. He had patience for the new people but still managed to go fast enough to keep us moving efficiently through. Kudos to you! -- Anonymous

Tacoen, US Mug'thol-H I wanted to give kudos to Tacoen for being 1.) an awesome and patient healer and 2.) for leading me and the rest of our PUGged group of level 53-54s through a near three-hour full clear of Blackrock Depths. ... Tacoen (and the whole group, really -- just can't remember their names!) was super patient and nice as we ran through BRD, even helping me to backtrack to get me the Shadowforge Key (I can't believe I walked right by the guy!) AFTER clearing the Emperor. . . . It's the only time I've ever seen all of BRD and haven't been in a full clear group since. Super-mega props to Tacoen and the rest of our group! Thank you for making a noob tank's day. :) -- Grumpzilla, US Draka-A

VoA PUG, US Gnomeregan-A We had a very solid group. I'll admit, I'm not the best geared. I don't do the best DPS. I was pulling 3.6-4k DPS and was 15th on the damage meters, and our highest DPS that raid was a hunter doing in excess of 12k DPS sustained. . . . Anyways, first we down Toravon, no problem. Next up was Koralon. We get him down to around 200k health and the main tank dies. At 80k health, the off-tank dies. Koralon, being the lumbering flame giant that he is, waddles on down the threat tree taking out everyone on the list, while the rest of us are panicking, blasting him with everything we had. By the time he gets to me, he's got around 11k health, and there's just me, my guildie (an arcane mage) and a shammy healer. I get off one critical hit with my Heart Strike (10k ^-^) before I go down, one-shots my guildie while he's got his mirror image blasting away -- this gets him down to 500 health, and the shammy kills him with a melee hit. Needless to say, we didn't know what the hell happened, but we were surprised that we were able to pull such a feat off. Was lots of fun. Very uber." -- Noneshalpass, <Mystic Souls>, US Gnomeregan-A

BRD group, Retaliation battlegroup Blackrock Depths and I do not have a good relationship. Every time I get it as my random dungeon (which at my level is all the time), I know that my group will inevitably fall apart. That's why I consider myself lucky to have ended up in a group with Granoc of US Fizzcrank-A, Zevellea of US Zangarmarsh-A, Bridi of US Azuremyst-A and Dirtylilgirl of US Exodar-A. Some of them joined later than others, but I was grateful for their patience, friendliness and willingness to go all the way. Needless to say, excitement was in the air once we finally hit the Imperial Seat, and it truly felt like a victory when we downed Thaurissan. While it's not on the level of ICC-25, clearing Blackrock Depths was something that I figured I would never do with a level appropriate group. I'd also like to send my love to Papik of US Terrokar-A, Bug of US Azuremyst-A, Artthus of US Galakrond-A and Lutanos of US Azuremyst-A; sorry you weren't able to stay, but thank you for giving it your all! -- Lightbabe <Danger Squad> US Blade's Edge-A

Keiram, US Kil'jaeden-A Doing the daily dungeon whilst leveling, I got grouped up with an awesome warlock name Keiram. When a pretty big upgrade dropped for me (cloth – I'm a druid healer) which I couldn't roll on, he asked if I needed it and traded it immediately. Thanks for making me believe in the WoW community again, Keiram; hope we group up together again. WTB cross-realm friends list ... -- Anonymous

Leiah, US Zangarmarsh-A I was running heroic Halls of Reflection on my priest, mostly out of frustration that I couldn't get the Shriveled Heart to drop on my mage . . . It turned out that the Shriveled Heart did exist. I hit Need, as I was sporting an off-hand from 10-man Ulduar. Leiah asked what I was wearing. Upon linking it, she decided I needed it more, as she "didn't want to be greedy replacing a 232 item with another 232." I gushed about how sweet that was of her, explaining how I wanted it for my own mage. And I thought that was it, until I left group, realizing that I had won the roll but not received the loot. /facepalm I began trekking my way back . . . However, on the way, I get a whisper from a character named Omgomgwtfwtf. After laughing at the name, it turns out it was none other than Leiah! She freaked out on my behalf when she realized I didn't pick up the off-hand and wanted to make sure I went back for it. It was incredibly sweet of her to go through the trouble of making a character and track me down, and it's a random act of kindness I won't soon forget. -- Minnie, <Skeletons of Society>, US The Underbog-A

Looking for guild

Is your lonely character LFG? Send us a link to your Armory page and a sentence or two on what you're looking for and what makes you special.

The late, late show "My character Rodenar, a restoration druid on US Stormrage-A, is finally getting some love after a six-month break from WoW. I'm currently in a guild with some old friends, but I can't make their raid times and would really like a shot at seeing ICC before it's obsolete. I'd really like to stay on Stormrage or another EST server, because my permanent address is on the east coast -- but I'm currently living in Japan (GMT+9). My best playtimes are 2-5 a.m. EST Monday-Friday, so an Aussie or graveyard shift guild would be best for me. I can't commit to a heavy raiding schedule, but I love running instances, getting achievements and working hard on progression during my limited playtime."

Dreaming of raiding "Ever since I started playing WoW three years ago. I've been dreaming of raiding. I love all parts of the game, so it took me two years to get to 80 (and I took my time exploring there, too). The raiding dream is always foremost; however, I have yet to find a guild that can lead me into that world. I'm able enough, I've read the forums and the guides, I've seen the movies, I've even been into a raid or two and done a crazy amount of HCs, but the two guilds I've been in didn't work out. Finally, I've come to the conclusion that the guild chats were too silent or too gear/stats/imba/pwn-oriented. I'm looking for a social guild where the tank jumps of a cliff in PoS just to see what happens, someone swims out to that lighthouse even if it's a 10-minute swim because maybe it's pretty, or someone organizes hug parties in Ironforge. My computer can only do 10-man, and I'm free every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Is my guild out there?" -- Foxcat, EU-Emeriss-H

Looking for PvP "I've recently become enamored with PvP, particularly battlegrounds and world PvP. I've collected gear and been practicing, but most of the Alliance on my server just don't have a passion for PvP. . . . Ideally, I'd like to be on a server in the EST time zone, which is the closest to mine. My main is a resto/elemental shaman -- I can make you feel better and your enemies feel worse!" -- Aurgon, US Maelstrom-A

How do you like the new LFG format? Do you think it's a nice change of pace from the traditional-style guild recruiting notices that you can find so many places on the net? We'll bring back the recruiting notices if you prefer them. Let us know what you think in the comments. We're listening!

Milestones

Three cheers for <The Dirt Dogs> (US Eredar-A), who've been busy celebrating their fifth anniversary with an epic, Cataclysm-themed anniversary quest chain that sent guildies all around the old world, including runs through Shadowfang Keep and the Deadmines. Costume contest entries included a Ghostbuster and Little Red Riding Hood -- but the Jedi knight won.

Also celebrating five years together is <The Demonic Reich> (US Proudmoore-A). "Most of the officer core have remained the same through the years and have a deep pride in knowing that they've kept alive one of the oldest guilds on the server," writes member Skarlet. "We take pride in the fact that we can progress while still maintaining a semi-casual environment. The guild was originally created to be a warlock-only guild (hence the name) but soon was turned into a full-blown raiding guild." Happy five to all the warlocks and friends!

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We need your submissions and news! The Classifieds brings you weekly updates on player and community news, help finding the right guild, who's making waves in the WoW community and more. E-mail your news and Random Acts of Uberness to TheClassifieds@wow.com.

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