Choose the adventures of the WoW.com staff as we level our characters in <It came from the Blog> on US Zangarmarsh-H.

Before we get to our adventures, here is the remaining schedule for the week:

• Elizabeth Harper as Faience, the troll shaman, and Robin Torres as Robinemia, the undead mage: Thursday, 11 p.m. to midnight EDT
• Michael Gray as Grayfields, the tauren hunter: Thursday, 8:30-10 p.m. EDT
• Amy Schley as Patent, the troll rogue: Thursday, 10-11 p.m. EDT
• Matthew Rossi as Andrenorton, his new troll mage: Saturday, 2-4 p.m. EDT
• Adam Holisky as Adammentat, the tauren druid, will be making appearances as he can.

The adventures of Patent, Grayfields, Faience and Robinemia are after the break.

Michael Gray as Grayfields the tauren hunter

The Barrens are dirty. They're dirty like a gnome who spent all night getting good and liquored up, wrapped around a pole like it's some kind of life-saving device. They never tell you that, never tell you how the dirt gets all through your clothes and your gun, and clings to your eyes even when you sleep.

I don't know whose call it was to send me out to this place, but it didn't go very well. I stepped out of Mulgore into Eversong with guns blazing. Well, gun. I only have one. It might seem odd that I'm walking around with only one gun (what if it breaks?), but I do keep an Ancient Bone Bow handy in case something happens. I don't use it much -- it feels fragile.

But as I finished up killing ... well, everything ... in Eversong, I wound my way down south to grab hold of a new friend. Yup: a turtle. Let me tell you, if you ever find yourself working your way through levels in the Barrens an amphibious wet-skinned slimy creature is totally way to go. There's nothing to announce your presence to the Crossroads from miles away like the smell of sweating turtle. I try and keep him moist from my canteen, but it's not that big a canteen and he's an awfully big turtle. Still, all the fighting doesn't hurt him much, so that's good.

Did I mention the smell?

Amy Schley as Patent the troll rogue

Hello mon, it be me -- da Patent troll. Dis week been lotsa fun, bein' da whole Noblegarden t'ing. I been wantin' a suit for when I be suin' inventors for messin' wit' my patents, and here be dis whole holiday 'bout findin' dings like tuxedo pants and tuxedo shirts in little eggs. Dis be exactly what I need, mon! So I t'ink dat I'll go to da blood elf village and collect some eggs. Big mistake, mon! Dat place be crowded wit' peoples and bunnies and people turned into bunnies running around. Maybe I been smokin' a bit too much felweed, but I not be dat fast, mon. So I asks da guild bruddas and sistas, and dey say go to da cow village. I wants to say a great big t'ank you for dat, mon. Dere be lotsa eggs dere, and nots too much competition for dem either. T'anks, mon! Now I be ready to sue dat Scooty goblin -- I got da patent on the teleporter first, mon.

So I gets my tuxedo shirt and pants, and den it be time for some killin'. I head to da Crossroads in da Barrens. By de way, mon, who t'ought it be a good idea to have me do my rogue voodoo trainin' in da biggest most borin' part of da whole world? Really, mon? What I done to you? Anyway, I finally get to da Crossroad when random act o' awesome voodoo happen! Dis cowmon, Samm of da guild <Battalion of da Sun> be givin' out five gold pieces to da people less dan twenty to help dem get deir first mount. Most appreciate it, mon! After dat, dis elf hunter shows up named Nyyte. We decide to go and kill some rapta's, plainstrida's, centaurs and dem walking pig t'ings to help out da good folks at da Crossroads. Dis was lotsa fun, except for dat whole tryin' to chase after your kitty, mon. Dese big feets don't run too fast.

I be focusin' on learnin' to be a combat rogue, as da whole poisonin' stuff seems way too complicated and da whole sneaky stuff just not be my style. I be a very unsubtle rogue, mon. I been workin' out so dat my sinister strike not be so tirin' and dat my left hand work my dagger a bit better. Also, I talked to da skinning trainer, 'cause dere be nutin' better for a troll dan havin' hands covered in animal blood. Except for maybe hands covered in troll blood, but da big boss mon Vol'Jin say we not get to be eatin' each udder any more. Anyway, I also talked to da mining trainer, wit' de idea dat I might make a bit of gold, but I don't know, mon. What ya t'ink I ought to be doin'?

Well, dat be all. I look forward ta seein' ya next time!

Elizabeth Harper as Faience the troll shaman

It's been a long while since I'd leveled a troll (once upon a time my main was a troll priest), but running quests around Sin'jin Village really reminded me why we need a cataclysm. Until I set on leveling Faience, I'd managed to forget how I needed to kill twenty makura to get four makura eyes. (In the end, I gave up on the quest well before I managed to complete it.) And I certainly stopped counting the number of tigers I needed to kill to get four tiger fur. Things feel awfully grindy around these parts -- and I'm not going to hold my breath that the Barrens will be much better. Cataclysm, you're going to fix all of this for us, right?

Robin Torres as Robinemia the undead mage

First of all, while I am wearing the finest of handstitched undergarments, I am still wearing the Red Linen Robe. I know this doesn't make me on the cutting edge of fashion, but I have yet to find anything that suits my complexion better while still increasing my brainpower. I did make the Simple Dress for myself (pictured right), and while it does make me feel pretty, it doesn't quite suit my personality. What do you think? I have upgraded my accessories, however, in the form of a Spring Circlet. Bunny ears are all the rage, you know.

Last Monday, Faience and I raided that fortress on the Durotar coast and taught those naval types a lesson. Many of you joined us and the carnage was pretty intense. There was no shortage of corpses for me to feast upon. We then took our mob to the Echo Isles and attempted to collect body parts while killing trolls. Unfortunately, there were others who were not of our guild also attempting to complete the same errands. They were not appreciative and called on their more experienced brethren to spoil our fun. While I understand that competing for the same objectives can be frustrating, it is the same for all of us and no ill will was intended by us. Ah well.

On Thursday, I spent time at the Crossroads slaughtering plainstriders for their beaks. I know that my people have habits that are considered gruesome by non-Forsaken, but I fail to understand how killing animals that are not aggressive for inedible body parts is more tasteful or noble or whatever. /shrug

I also participated in the Noblegarden event. I ran in circles in Bloodhoof Village and collected brightly colored eggs, broke them and donated their shells. I then traded in their chocolate innards for a hat. And there were many bunnies. I think the holiday would have been more satisfying if I could have set the bunnies on fire. Alas, that was not an option. I hear that we will be celebrating Children's Week soon. I wonder if I can set them on fire ...

Here are some snapshots of our adventures. I have included some fashion photos for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

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If you want to join in on the fun of Choose My Adventure, please join us on US Zangarmarsh-H in <It came from the Blog>. Ask Robiness, Robinemia or any member online for an invite. Guild ranks of Lurker or above have the ability to invite. You are all welcome as long as you play by our simple rules, that can be summed up with "Don't be a Funsucker!" Also, please see the guild FAQ for the most common questions.

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Tags: choose-my-adventure, cma, faience, fashion, featured, grayfields, guild-event, guild-events, patent, recap, recaps, robinemia, roleplay, wow-com-guild, wow-dot-com-guild, wow-event, wow-events, wow-insider, wow-insider-guild, wow-insider-guild-event, wowinsider

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