Buff(ing) for BlizzCon: It begins

If there's one thing that Blizzard does well, it's build anticipation for upcoming events. And, other than the release of upcoming expansions, nothing gets players going like BlizzCon itself. With it being six months away, it's certainly not too early to begin thinking about going, but that brings with it logistical and social considerations. I'll leave the logistics to someone in the hospitality or travel industry; however, for anyone who wants to make a killer impression on their fellow gamers, this column is for you.
Welcome to Buff(ing) for BlizzCon, a bi-weekly guide to getting in shape, brought to you by the fitness freaks at ShrinkGeek. To quote Hanz and Franz, "Vee ahr goink to pahmp joo ahp!"
Keen observers of this space may be saying to themselves, "Hey, wait a minute... that sounds a little familiar." You would be absolutely correct.
That said, (re-)introductions are probably in order.
Apparently, our standing around with giant punctuation marks over our heads flagged us as quest-giving NPCs to the folks here. (I told Mike we should have sprayed for those things.) In this case, it's a little more customized than simply tucking %class, %name, or %race flag into the quest's flavor text. Whether they're trying to uncover a hidden six-pack or looking to drop a fair bit of weight for health reasons, a bunch of the staffers here have put their butts on the line, literally. We're not going to gank anyone who doesn't complete the quests they've chosen for themselves, but they're the ones who will be in the screenshots event photos
The best road to success, no matter what the quest might be, is to have a specific goal, and a specific time frame. "Goals are dreams with a deadline," as the saying goes. The writers here have all put down what they hope to achieve. That's another big step. This is public accountability for anyone and everyone who wants it. Instead of killing ten rats, people are killing ten (or twenty, or more) pounds, looking to run five miles, or survive a zombie apocalypse. We don't begrudge anyone their ambitions, and, frankly, applaud everyone who is participating.
With this in mind, over the coming months, we will be helping them (and, hopefully, you) get a little closer to your fitness goals by the time BlizzCon arrives. That isn't to say that people's dedication is going to remain steadfast, or that a well-intentioned fitness regimen isn't going to be seriously challenged when a major patch comes out (never mind Cataclysm itself). We have some tricks up our sleeves, but when it comes right down to it, the only person who can get you in shape is you.
One thing everyone can do, right now (or at least by this weekend), is to take a "before" picture. This isn't for anyone's use but your own (but, when this is all over, before/after comparison shots, suitably anonymized, may really open some eyes). Anyone of the stat-fiend variety is welcome to track additional stuff -- body fat percentage, cholesterol, blood pressure, some particular weight lifting or cycling or jogging benchmark ... whatever. I have my own large and tedious spreadsheet, a spiral notebook, and a white board in my garage, so you're not alone in this.
We have conducted some behind-the-scenes interviews with the participating staffers, and it sounds like folks have all got a pretty good approach (at least, nobody is sending out the "Oh God, don't kill me!" vibe). We won't kid you - six months is a long grind, which is why breaking it up into a trio of two-month chunks will help folks along. So, with that in mind, everyone is encouraged to keep up with their current fitness routine (or, you know, start doing something), and circle June 22 on the calendar as the date to have lost a third of the weight they're trying to lose, or otherwise made a similar amount of progress towards their goal.
Do we really need to quote a certain muscular purple elf from The Burning Crusade trailer?
Filed under: BlizzCon, Guest Posts






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
Fierna Apr 22nd 2010 7:11PM
Treadmill Time! Will forgo the ultraviolet rays and opt for spray tanning. Also making a solemn vow to not repeat my mistake of two years ago. This year I will NOT sleep with a Ret Pally. How's that for an affirmation?
Bronwyn Apr 22nd 2010 7:33PM
Allright I'm officially lost.
moroni Apr 22nd 2010 7:37PM
You are not prepared!
Erzfiend Apr 22nd 2010 7:42PM
It was merely a setback.
Chilblain Apr 22nd 2010 7:47PM
Maybe they'll sell another mount at the online store so you will have something WoW-related to write about.
Teach me how to refinish antique furniture, WoW Insider!
George Apr 23rd 2010 10:25AM
You want to troll? Leave that crap in 4chan where it belongs. I'm sure you're really impressed with your own wittiness. Let me [Purge] that [Inflated Ego] buff for you. .
Chilblain Apr 23rd 2010 10:53AM
You're right. We really shouldn't be posting stuff here that is more appropriate to the spirit of another website.
Err...wait.
JFNP Jul 3rd 2010 2:29AM
I for one think that this IS WoW related! Most players I know barely even take time to shower and the fact that someone at Blizzard cares about more than just making a buck is commendable (plus, you're no use to them if you die from a heart attack). I'm sure you're happy not getting laid, but please waste your time taking your sexual frustration out on somebody that's NOT trying to help you!
@Rafe Brox, I'm also a writer and understand that you can't please everybody, but I think what you're doing is great and will be spreading the word on my site.
Good luck!
Trotline Apr 22nd 2010 8:14PM
You're planning roughly 48 articles about Blizzcon, starting now? Kinda laying it on thick, what?
Draykin Apr 22nd 2010 8:17PM
I for one am very happy to see this. I weigh 330 pounds and I'm sure I'm not the only WoW player how does. I have problems looking for things to help, it'll be nice for it to be where I look everyday.
Kira Apr 22nd 2010 11:22PM
so you want to be lazy about finding out how to stop being lazy? kind of off to a bad start dont you think?
Chilblain Apr 22nd 2010 11:46PM
Yeah, because I'm sure without the WoW Insider weight-loss guide there is zero information on the internet on how to shed pounds.
Resident Horrible Apr 22nd 2010 11:55PM
Hey man, thats what this post was about. Incentive. How many gamers are at least a little overweight? Most of them. Even the skinny kids could bulk up and stop getting sand kicked in their faces at the beach. Anyways, yeah man, I hope this motivates you and a lot of others. My fiance and I found out she is aboot 2 months pregnant, and that explains why we've both been eatting like 6 meals a day. Think I'll go for this too.
As for the fanboys who are mad that an article isn't dedicated enough to WoW, if you've nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all. (Am I the only one who watched Bambi?) If you don't want to read about wow-players wanting to look smexxy for Blizzcon, don't click the article. =)
Newbie McNewb Apr 22nd 2010 11:55PM
Kira - just starting, no matter how or where, at all is a great thing, don't you think?
SarcasticZombie Apr 23rd 2010 8:05AM
Hey man, I've been there. I was skinny most of my life, but then I got a desk job, bills, etc., stopped exercising, and before I knew it I'd gone from 160 lbs. to 240 lbs. It wasn't a good look.
I learned a few things that I hope can get you started on a better path.
1. Admit to yourself that you have a problem. Not a genetic curse. Not a fat-based prison sentence. Not bad luck. You just have a *problem* and you can solve it. Stop making a purely physical issue an issue of self-worth.
2. Realize that it's not impossible to lose weight. I know it feels that way, I felt that way too for a long time. But it's not. You've just been doing it wrong. Again, don't make that emotional. Lots of people do their taxes wrong for years. Spend your energy learning to do it correctly.
3. Remember that it takes time to become healthy. You became unhealthy over a long period of time, you'll reverse it over a long period of time. There's no quick fix. Trying to find one is probably the major mistake you keep making.
4. Losing weight and becoming fit is a matter of permanently changing your everyday habits. I know this article is serving as a form of inspiration, but frankly, it's wrong-headed: banish the concept of a fixer-upper diet from your head. Instead, this is your mantra: "I'm a little better today than I was yesterday." *That* is your feel-good thought right before you fall asleep at night.
5. Baby steps. BABY STEPS. What happens if you try to make a right in your car going 70 MPH? You'll do the same thing to yourself if you try to just change everything overnight. Pick one bad habit, beat it, then pick the next. Remember: a little better today than yesterday.
6. Overall, you need a two-pronged attack. First, you need to build muscle. Second, you need to start eating healthy food. Don't try to eat less food. Eat as much as you want, as long as it's healthy food. Don't ever let yourself be hungry. Just eat good stuff whenever you are: whole grains, fruits and veggies, lean meats, etc.
7. Once you've packed on some muscle and have good eating habits in place, you'll already start to lose weight. Once your good habits are cemented, you can start throttling back your calories. The muscle you've gained will help you burn away that fat surprisingly fast.
8. It's a lifestyle change. Lifestyle change. Permanent. Lifestyle. Change. You will never, ever, ever, ever, ever get to the point where you can say, "I'm skinny, I can eat oreos for lunch now!" Make peace with that. You will have to watch what you eat forever. *Because that's what every human being should do by default.*
If I were to recommend one book to read: The New Rules of Lifting by Lou Schuler & Alwyn Cosgrove.
It seems like a musclehead book, but it's not. It'll teach you the basic foundations of fitness. It's more of a treatise on how a human body is supposed to run than anything, and it'll keep you from developing bad habits both in eating and in exercise. It's a remarkably pragmatic, intelligent and upbeat fitness book. I can't recommend it enough.
Best of luck on your journey!
bestshot9 Apr 22nd 2010 8:37PM
This is a good column to start. I believe I am fairly well in shape (I'm in Army ROTC here at school and PT 3-5 times a week) but I know plenty of people who are out of shape or overweight who are too embarrassed to ask their real life friends for help when it comes to developing a workout routine, so getting anonymous help over the internet could be just what some people need.
Squatstopee Apr 22nd 2010 8:49PM
So let's see those staff before pictures.
Hollow Leviathan Apr 22nd 2010 8:55PM
Ideal weights vary by gender and height, so, instead of losing weight, you can instead choose to work on getting taller until your weight is appropriate. I need to get 3 inches taller, for example. That's doable!
rafe.brox Apr 23rd 2010 4:55PM
@HollowLeviathan: If you figure out a way to fix my nagging height deficit, I'd be much obliged.
Lily Apr 22nd 2010 9:03PM
You can also start working on your cosplay :D