The 25 most evil achievements finale, part 2

2. School of Hard Knocks
The hatred for this achievement is well-known and, in my opinion, well-deserved.
I try to take a measured approach to everything on this blog. Even if I don't agree with Blizzard, I'll make the effort to understand how and why they arrived at a decision. Sometimes I've gotten it right, and sometimes (perhaps more often) I haven't. Any reasonable player will admit that their love of a character is ultimately a very small part of a very big game, and developers have the unenviable task of reconciling player desires with the necessary limitations imposed by game balance. Whenever I look at the forums, I wonder if people like Nethaera and Ancilorn go to work every day expecting themselves to be the sole voice of unhappy sanity in a thread, and I fully expect Ghostcrawler to snap before Cataclysm, disappear and turn up six months later adopted into a pod of Monterey Bay seals.
So I don't say this insultingly, but boy, do I mean it: there's no defensible reason for this achievement to exist.
None.
It makes PvE players miserable. It makes PvP players miserable. It's a perverse incentive against teamwork, it turns battlegrounds into a mess for the length of Children's Week and it's the worst possible way to encourage any tentative or frightened player to try PvP. Anyone trying to do it might as well have a giant bull's-eye painted on them, for all the griefing and bullying it tends to attract, and I have a very serious problem with players being forced into such a vulnerable position in pursuit of What A Long, Strange Trip It's Been. For many players, that's the only way they're ever going to get a 310% mount without having to shell out for it at 85, and having to wade into an ocean of malicious "teammates" and opportunistic enemies to get it frankly sucks.
I am at a loss to understand how this achievement was supposed to be fun, or what it was intended to accomplish other than being an amazingly cruel barrier to completion of the year-long meta. Over the past week, I've seen the following:
- Paladins casting Hand of Protection on their own teammates to force them into dropping a flag.
- Arena gods grabbing the EotS flag, parking themselves in a distant corner of the battlefield and enjoying the eruption of pleading in /bg chat.
- Healers refusing to heal their teammates in the hopes that they'd die and the healer could then cap a tower or node.
- Rogues Sapping players at the last moment before they could cap or defend a node (orphans clearly visible at the sides of the players in question) and doing it over and over and over ...
- Players hanging back while others rushed into AV towers to cap, then capping while the others were being damaged by the archers and unable to get a full cast off.
- ICC-geared DPS two- or three-shotting enemy players in blues who were /pointing at their orphans and emoting /beg.
Enough already. Remove School of Hard Knocks from the meta, or remove it from the game entirely.
1. Insane in the Membrane
This is it.
Insane in the Membrane is the granddaddy, prime mover, and ne plus ultra of all truly evil achievements.
These are the worst, most soul-destroying reputation grinds in the game, and the developers even admitted it. They're all factions that Blizzard never really intended anyone to grind in the first place, and then -- post-drunken board meeting, I can only assume -- they decided to add a Feat of Strength to it for anyone crazy enough to do it. It comes with the additional evil touch of Steamwheedle and Bloodsail rep being zero-sum; anybody who manages the long slog to Honored with the pirates is then obliged to work from the bottom of the Hated barrel with the goblins, and vice versa. Each and every single one of these grinds is painful, expensive, annoying, time-consuming and guaranteed to have you in shivering in the corner of a mental institution within the space of a few days:
- Everlook, Ratchet, Gadgetzan and Booty Bay Once you've exhausted their quest offerings, you've got two choices and neither is attractive: grind low-level mobs for days on end, or grind Dire Maul north for an equally long time hoping you get a dropped key each run to free Knot Thimblejack.
- Darkmoon Faire You'll run out of relatively easy turn-ins for the Faire pretty quickly, and after that? Better hope you (or your server's scribes) feel up to the task of providing more than a hundred Darkmoon decks. Oh, and the Darkmoon Faire isn't actually available most of the time, either. If you can't manage to get your hands on enough decks while they're around for the first part of every month, congratulations! You get to wait another month!
- Shendralar This reclusive sect of the Highborne has had, until recently, no desire to make contact with the outside world, and it shows. You get one non-repeatable class quest and one dungeon quest, and that's it. Afterwards, it's nothing but painful, expensive libram turn-ins and -- this gets better -- you can't hold more than one of the same libram simultaneously. Did one Libram of Focus drop for you? You can't pick up another one until you've somehow dumped the first. Get the librams and turn-in items, run to Dire Maul, hand them in, run to the nearest mailbox if you're not an engineer (bonus points if you're Alliance and have to wait for the ferry to Feathermoon Stronghold each time!), get more librams and items off an alt, run back to Dire Maul, lather, rinse, repeat and go completely off your nut.
- Ravenholdt There's no way to increase Ravenholdt reputation unless you can get a steady supply of lockboxes. How do you get lockboxes, you ask? Pickpocketing. Hey, wait -- aren't rogues the only class that can pickpocket? Bingo. Legions of players have leveled a rogue to do nothing other than farm lockboxes for their mains, which means the added frustration of leveling an extra character on top of the long and boring slog through high 50s mobs for the boxes themselves.
- Bloodsail Buccaneers I'm not sure this one requires elaboration. Farming Bloodsail reputation requires tanking your rep with the Steamwheedle goblins, who -- as you may have noticed -- run an awful lot of towns and flight paths around the world. In return for you inability to travel to any goblin town without being attacked on sight, the pirates will give you ... a costume? Seriously? SERIOUSLY? That's it? What the hell made that horrible grind worth it? Nothing, that's what. That's why they call you The Insane.
Working on achievements? The Overachiever is here to help! We've covered everything from Glory of the Hero and Insane in the Membrane to Master of Alterac Valley and Lil' Game Hunter, and you can count on us to guide you through holidays and Azeroth's special events. 





Reader Comments (Page 1 of 7)
Resident Horrible May 6th 2010 5:03PM
At FIRST I was a little skeptical about the order placement, but Insane in the Membrane is tough as nails!
(cutaia) May 6th 2010 5:14PM
Phew...good thing you capitalized the FIRST in that sentence. Otherwise it might have been too subtle for us to see it, right?
Resident Horrible May 6th 2010 5:27PM
correct
minttunator May 6th 2010 9:34PM
Good list - though I wonder, why isn't Sinister Calling on it somewhere?
kingoomieiii May 7th 2010 8:51AM
Sinister Calling was only nasty the first part of that first Hallow's End. The Squashling can now drop from Trick or Treating as well as from HH, and so can the helm you need.
Kanuris May 9th 2010 2:29AM
Am in the process of Insane in the Membrane at the moment.
I view most raiding achievements to be more evil. Light of the Dawn has limited attempts and no margin for error. Insane just takes forever.
Voltaire May 6th 2010 5:08PM
Not to surprised at insane in the membrane being first, would feel a little cheated if it wasn't
ZMES_Matt May 6th 2010 5:20PM
I kind of feel cheated that it was first, since it's a Feat of Strength and not an achievment. :-/
http://www.wowwiki.com/Insane_in_The_Membrane
SkwidSpawn May 6th 2010 5:46PM
Have to agree with Volatire: Feats of Strength are not achievements. If they counted as achievements there would be no reason for the existance of Feats of Strength.
OhneRastZumZiel May 6th 2010 6:07PM
I'm not entirely sure it's worth splitting hairs over whether something is an achievement or Feat of Strength. Feats of Strength are simply a subset of Achievements that don't have a point value attached to them. The main difference between them is possibility.
An achievement is something that, given enough time, effort, talent, and teamwork, can hypothetically be done by anyone.
A feat of strength may simply be technically impossible for a subset of players to complete.
Achievements like "Insane in the Membrane" are a special class, however, as they are technically available for anyone to complete but are labeled Feats of Strength anyway. There are no restrictions that could bar a person from doing them. You just have to be nuts to want them.
So yes, there are differences, but trying to say "OMG FEATS OF STRENGTH AREN'T ACHIEVEMENTS" is like saying a square isn't a rectangle (hint: it is).
Penguirrel May 6th 2010 6:19PM
I didn't find it too hard, just took patience. Did it over the course of here and there months.
Penguirrel May 6th 2010 6:22PM
and actually, I am both Honored with Bloodsail at the same time as Exalted with the Goblins. Now THAT was a little soulcrushing because that is the SECOND time i've had to grind goblins from 0/36000 hated to exalted
Allison Robert May 6th 2010 6:25PM
Well, I tend to divide Feats of Strength into two categories:
a). Those you can get, and:
b). Those you can't.
And of those, Insane in the Membrane firmly belongs to option A. There's nothing dividing it from the rest of the achievement "population" other than the unusually long time spent to acquire it, but anybody can do it.
Feats of Strength are still achievements, after all -- they're just a little more "special" in that many can't be done anymore. That said, I still had a lot of fun with the OverAchiever I wrote on the Feats of Strength you CAN get now, if you want to look at that: http://www.wow.com/2009/11/02/the-overachiever-what-feats-of-strength-can-you-get-now/
Allison Robert May 6th 2010 6:36PM
I should probably add that there are two other Feats of Strength on the top 25 list: A Tribute to Immortality and Hero of Shattrath. Both are doable. Regrettably, they are also both completely evil.
extreme4241 May 6th 2010 5:13PM
This is just my opinion and I may be the only one that feels this way but I did not find the school of hard knocks as that difficult of an achievement, especially compared to the other achievements listed before that.
Yogg +0 is way more difficult of an achievement to get compared to school of hard knocks.
Again just my opinion and others can gladly disagree.
ZMES_Matt May 6th 2010 5:23PM
I completely agree with you, but I think the ranking is based on number of people it made miserable; so while yogg +0 was way harder, not nearly as many people had failed attempts at it as School of Hardknocks did.
Foxfyr May 6th 2010 5:28PM
I didn't find it too difficult either, but I don't think that's the point. I'm working on my bg achievements now since they're pretty much the only solo thing I can still work on...
And the effect this achievement has on BGs is pretty staggering. As alliance, I'm able to win WSG much more often but that's only because most BGs have both full teams standing around guarding the flag.
My strategy has turned into, standing next to the horde speed buff and waiting for it to pop. Then sprinting and grabbing their flag, hitting cloak of shadows, and sprinting back down the tunnel.
I can usually get about halfway home before I'm caught by 10 angry horde foster parents. Occasionally I can make it to our tunnel where I'm home free but my team will all be standing around doing nothing the whole time.
Foxfyr the Insane
frozndevl May 6th 2010 5:32PM
I still have yet to understand what is so difficult about School of hard knocks. I got the achievement the first day it was available and it probably only took a couple hours to get it completed. Three of them are doable by just running as fast as you can at the outset, if you don't get it right away, not a big deal, you can get it again. The other, in WSG, just means fighting in the giant melee in the middle, again, not a huge deal unless they other team is just rolling you.
Ata May 6th 2010 5:34PM
@zmes_Matt and Extreme4241
I think through the whole list, it's not so much how 'hard' something is, as it's 'hard' coupled with 'rage inducing' and factors completely out of one's control (the RNG).
Yogg+0 you had to rely on 9 or 24 other people and you are there because you want to be...School of Hard Knocks you have to rely on people you can't communicate with in a place that a lot of people have no experience or wish to ever be combined with people who are out to make those other people's lives miserable by being internet jerks.
Accomplished Angler was on an earlier list thanks to it's very heavy RNG component; while someone might fish up the sea turtle in less than an hour of fishing, for someone else it can take days if not months of fishing to catch it, same for the rare fish. And then you get to the Tournaments that you need to win one of, and that you get to fight with not only the RNG deciding if you can catch the needed fish in time, you have to hope you don't lag while hearthing back into Dalaran to run to the turn in.
Sometimes 'hard' doesn't mean 'tough fight', it means 'tough game mechanics and random unpredictability of things like other people'
Benjamin May 6th 2010 5:38PM
well it took my fugly priest about 3-4 hrs of doin BG's to get the hard knocks achievement. You can solo it. I think unless ur in the top raiding guild on the server, Yogg +0 isn't in the cards for you. Ms. Allison Robert IS in a top raiding guild on her server (its something with an Eight), so for her, hard knocks could very well be harder. And I'll admit, there is alot of RNG involved with gettin a good BG group. But between 5 guildies on monday, none of them took more than 6 EOTS battles to get that one, and it was the hardest.
What is ur guild's name btw Ms. Robert? I'm so curious to see the gear ur rockin to compare to my little druid.
-Tiigerclaw