The 25 most evil achievements finale, part 2

2. School of Hard Knocks
The hatred for this achievement is well-known and, in my opinion, well-deserved.
I try to take a measured approach to everything on this blog. Even if I don't agree with Blizzard, I'll make the effort to understand how and why they arrived at a decision. Sometimes I've gotten it right, and sometimes (perhaps more often) I haven't. Any reasonable player will admit that their love of a character is ultimately a very small part of a very big game, and developers have the unenviable task of reconciling player desires with the necessary limitations imposed by game balance. Whenever I look at the forums, I wonder if people like Nethaera and Ancilorn go to work every day expecting themselves to be the sole voice of unhappy sanity in a thread, and I fully expect Ghostcrawler to snap before Cataclysm, disappear and turn up six months later adopted into a pod of Monterey Bay seals.
So I don't say this insultingly, but boy, do I mean it: there's no defensible reason for this achievement to exist.
None.
It makes PvE players miserable. It makes PvP players miserable. It's a perverse incentive against teamwork, it turns battlegrounds into a mess for the length of Children's Week and it's the worst possible way to encourage any tentative or frightened player to try PvP. Anyone trying to do it might as well have a giant bull's-eye painted on them, for all the griefing and bullying it tends to attract, and I have a very serious problem with players being forced into such a vulnerable position in pursuit of What A Long, Strange Trip It's Been. For many players, that's the only way they're ever going to get a 310% mount without having to shell out for it at 85, and having to wade into an ocean of malicious "teammates" and opportunistic enemies to get it frankly sucks.
I am at a loss to understand how this achievement was supposed to be fun, or what it was intended to accomplish other than being an amazingly cruel barrier to completion of the year-long meta. Over the past week, I've seen the following:
- Paladins casting Hand of Protection on their own teammates to force them into dropping a flag.
- Arena gods grabbing the EotS flag, parking themselves in a distant corner of the battlefield and enjoying the eruption of pleading in /bg chat.
- Healers refusing to heal their teammates in the hopes that they'd die and the healer could then cap a tower or node.
- Rogues Sapping players at the last moment before they could cap or defend a node (orphans clearly visible at the sides of the players in question) and doing it over and over and over ...
- Players hanging back while others rushed into AV towers to cap, then capping while the others were being damaged by the archers and unable to get a full cast off.
- ICC-geared DPS two- or three-shotting enemy players in blues who were /pointing at their orphans and emoting /beg.
Enough already. Remove School of Hard Knocks from the meta, or remove it from the game entirely.
1. Insane in the Membrane
This is it.
Insane in the Membrane is the granddaddy, prime mover, and ne plus ultra of all truly evil achievements.
These are the worst, most soul-destroying reputation grinds in the game, and the developers even admitted it. They're all factions that Blizzard never really intended anyone to grind in the first place, and then -- post-drunken board meeting, I can only assume -- they decided to add a Feat of Strength to it for anyone crazy enough to do it. It comes with the additional evil touch of Steamwheedle and Bloodsail rep being zero-sum; anybody who manages the long slog to Honored with the pirates is then obliged to work from the bottom of the Hated barrel with the goblins, and vice versa. Each and every single one of these grinds is painful, expensive, annoying, time-consuming and guaranteed to have you in shivering in the corner of a mental institution within the space of a few days:
- Everlook, Ratchet, Gadgetzan and Booty Bay Once you've exhausted their quest offerings, you've got two choices and neither is attractive: grind low-level mobs for days on end, or grind Dire Maul north for an equally long time hoping you get a dropped key each run to free Knot Thimblejack.
- Darkmoon Faire You'll run out of relatively easy turn-ins for the Faire pretty quickly, and after that? Better hope you (or your server's scribes) feel up to the task of providing more than a hundred Darkmoon decks. Oh, and the Darkmoon Faire isn't actually available most of the time, either. If you can't manage to get your hands on enough decks while they're around for the first part of every month, congratulations! You get to wait another month!
- Shendralar This reclusive sect of the Highborne has had, until recently, no desire to make contact with the outside world, and it shows. You get one non-repeatable class quest and one dungeon quest, and that's it. Afterwards, it's nothing but painful, expensive libram turn-ins and -- this gets better -- you can't hold more than one of the same libram simultaneously. Did one Libram of Focus drop for you? You can't pick up another one until you've somehow dumped the first. Get the librams and turn-in items, run to Dire Maul, hand them in, run to the nearest mailbox if you're not an engineer (bonus points if you're Alliance and have to wait for the ferry to Feathermoon Stronghold each time!), get more librams and items off an alt, run back to Dire Maul, lather, rinse, repeat and go completely off your nut.
- Ravenholdt There's no way to increase Ravenholdt reputation unless you can get a steady supply of lockboxes. How do you get lockboxes, you ask? Pickpocketing. Hey, wait -- aren't rogues the only class that can pickpocket? Bingo. Legions of players have leveled a rogue to do nothing other than farm lockboxes for their mains, which means the added frustration of leveling an extra character on top of the long and boring slog through high 50s mobs for the boxes themselves.
- Bloodsail Buccaneers I'm not sure this one requires elaboration. Farming Bloodsail reputation requires tanking your rep with the Steamwheedle goblins, who -- as you may have noticed -- run an awful lot of towns and flight paths around the world. In return for you inability to travel to any goblin town without being attacked on sight, the pirates will give you ... a costume? Seriously? SERIOUSLY? That's it? What the hell made that horrible grind worth it? Nothing, that's what. That's why they call you The Insane.
Working on achievements? The Overachiever is here to help! We've covered everything from Glory of the Hero and Insane in the Membrane to Master of Alterac Valley and Lil' Game Hunter, and you can count on us to guide you through holidays and Azeroth's special events.
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Reader Comments (Page 4 of 7)
Kemikalkadet May 6th 2010 8:59PM
the other one is: "Arena gods grabbing the EotS flag, parking themselves in a distant corner of the battlefield and enjoying the eruption of pleading in /bg chat."
That's a normal EotS strategy. You want to hold the flag until you have 2-3 bases and the centre secured. If you cap it while you have one base and the enemy have 3, you may as well not have capped it because the otehr side will make up them points within a few seconds. Secondly, if you cap while the centre is unsecured you're basically giving the other side the flag... Again, this will mean they quickly make up the points deficit and it will be as if you never capped the flag.
Tekworm May 6th 2010 6:01PM
I have to say...my experience with School of Hard Knocks was actually very smooth. I went in to my first BG this Tuesday, prepped to be in front of my computer for days, trudging my way through griefing, pvp gods, etc. and praying to get everything done by the end of Children's week.
About an hour and a half later I was done with School of Hard Knocks.
My second try in Eots, I was running alongside a paly who had the flag and quickly asked him in /bg if he would drop the flag so I could get my achievement and he dropped it, I capped it, and he, along with a few other said grats in /bg.
Next was WSG....I hung out in the flag room, and being a mage, went invisible and followed out any flag grabbing hordies, and after my 3rd round, I had this done.
AB....ok I got lucky on my first try.
AV...got it on my 3rd round. In each round there were at least three quarters of my team with orphans out. Before the 1st round, someone said, the plan is to get Horde's attention and help out cross-faction with getting the assaults. In the following two rounds, I advertised this myself. In all three rounds, both Horde AND Alliance teammates were cooperative. By the third round, I was done with this.
All in all, everything went very smoothly and I had plenty of time on my hands to get my shatt and sw pets, and get back to some heroics (getting my two +xp heirlooms for my 1st ever alt--a paladin.)
Maybe some people out there took notice to Cynwise's Modest Proposal!
Candina@WH May 6th 2010 5:58PM
Ya know... It's articles like this that make me glad I don't give a damn about achievements.
Bart Janssen May 6th 2010 6:06PM
It's nice that you have The Insane as the most evil but it really is just an exercise in patience. I've done it and once you get yourself organised it's just a matter of working through the factions. Stupid, insane even, but not really that evil.
For me the BG achievements are far worse. The combination of time and effort to get close to some of those achievements only to have the RNG thwart you is bad enough. But for some of those achievements players who are actually trying to win, as they should, will make the achievement impossible. I'm an average PvPer at best and even I get annoyed at myself for trying to do some of the achievements.
Dommens May 6th 2010 6:06PM
That orphan quest was quite easy for me (a pve hunter)
artifex May 6th 2010 6:12PM
I hated School Of Hard Knocks when I did it last year, but eventually decided I had to do it; it's just a game, after all. But it was interesting how it drew out hidden traits from people. Sometimes the enemy was considerate, while my own side was cruel, especially against our own.
I hated it, still hate it, but I can see why they do it. Blizzard knows it's a horrible concept, and it's there precisely because it's horrible. Know what? War really sucks. There's nothing glamorous about civilians, innocent kids, being stuck in the middle of conflicts, sometimes being forced to go into battle, and dying. But it's what happens in real life, and it's the worst part of real wars. Innocent people are dying today, and we're to blame for it. And sometimes, looking back, those 'necessary military objectives' seem to have no more value than game achievements and titles, quickly forgotten.
Choose to do it so you can see what kind of person you are capable of becoming when you "have" to do something like this, and remember some people don't have the luxury of choice.
Hob May 6th 2010 6:12PM
"Sinister Calling" requires 2 RNG drops in a 2 week period. Got the squashling last year but never could get the hallowed helm... oh, except on like 4 toons who were under level 10. Trying to get both RNG drops on one toon in one year... yeah, I know it *can* happen, but it's still evil. No skill, teamwork, raiding, or minimum level required. Even persistence isn't a guarantee to get it. Just... 2 random drops.
/shrug?
Kylenne May 6th 2010 6:23PM
As bad as it is now, Sinister Calling was even worse last year, because for a good chunk of the holiday you couldn't even get it from trick or treating--it was the Horseman or bust. They hot-fixed it after so many people complained.
Hallows End is just an awful holiday in general for achievement fiends. I love it just because I love Halloween, and seeing jack-o-lanterns and stuff around the Undercity is just too adorable for words. But I suspect I would hate it a lot more had Lady Luck not been on my side when trying to get the achievements.
Kylenne May 6th 2010 6:26PM
er, that would be the year before last. wtb an edit button (again).
BB Crisp May 6th 2010 6:42PM
I remember reading a couple guides on Insane in the Membrane, along with calculations estimating the amount of time it should take to complete. Actual gameplay time of weeks. It sucks that the one title I would really, really want is the one that I will never even remotely considering attempting.
And as far as all those PVP ones, I absolutely agree. I spend most of my play time on my priest healer (holy for PVE, disc for PVP) and it sucks to the Nth degree trying to get some of those. I got Ironman almost on accident a few months ago, but I feel pretty bad ditching my team alot of the time attempting these near-impossible feats.
Irem May 6th 2010 6:53PM
If you work on it piece by piece it's not so bad, and Blizzard confirmed that you'll still be able to work on it in Cata, so you'd have time. :D There are places where you just need to buckle down and grind, but overall if you ever find yourself standing in Dalaran chatting, think to yourself, "Well, while I do this I may as well be killing guards/grinding Syndicate members/farming for mats." It's really just a test of how well you can withstand tedium and how well you can make use of your time.
What I always tell people who are thinking of doing it is to get the Bloodsail Buccaneer title first. If you want to tear out your hair doing that, Insane in the Membrane will drive you...well, you know. If that doesn't seem like such a big deal, do Ravenholdt. If you're still okay, do Gadgetzan. Still okay? Do Shen'dralar.
Then you only have DMF left, and you're already halfway done. >_> *cough*
Sintraedrien May 6th 2010 10:23PM
Heh - for a truly evil achievement, I'm trying (on my main) to get to Exalted with Bloodsail, fully intending to keep that rep AND grind out Steamwheedle to Exalted. How, you may ask? Twenty-one days /played of only killing Jazzrik.My problem is that I can endure no more than several hours before I awake with my head on my keyboard, and drool running down my chin.
That's what I deserve, I suppose. :)
BTW. where did Blizz confirm it would still be availalble in Cata?
Paulio May 7th 2010 2:09AM
Irem gave some good advice ^ for people who want to see how it feels to work towards Insane in the Membrane. If you don't enjoy hours of slaying goblins in Booty Bay, then you definitely will not enjoy what is to come next; however, if you are insane enough that you enjoy the tedium, then maybe it's worth committing to the long journey toward one of the rarest titles in the entire game. My server is an original WoW server and yet we still have less than 20 people across both Alliance and Horde bearing "the insane" title, meaning this FoS is still more rare than 25-man realm firsts after all this time. It deserves its #1 ranking in this post.
But let's give credit where credit is due: exalted with Bloodsail is a far, far more insane thing to strive for. Good thing it doesn't have an achievement or OCD players would be compelled to obtain it. I simultaneously pity and envy you if you are exalted with Bloodsail Bucs.
Gurky May 6th 2010 6:44PM
I've read all the arguments for and against School of Hard Knocks. I really, really try to see both sides of the argument, but in the end, this is the one achievement that I will not pursue.
I don't like annoying people on purpose and, no matter how hard one tries to be the nice guy, this achievement forces people to act like idiots (from both a PvE and PvP player perspective).
Zinx May 6th 2010 6:53PM
It is kind of odd that you have the individual BG ones but don't include Battlemaster. Granted, this achievement got nerfed shortly after I got it when they took away the Conqueror requirement, but it still includes all the other BG achievements in this list as a prerequisite.
Felix_NZ May 6th 2010 6:56PM
OMGOMGOMG
Thank you for that tip about Hand of Protection on allies! Been trying to do School of Hard Knocks all week, and it's difficult enough when your opponents see a non-PVP easy fodder a mile off dragging a child behind them, but when you have to deal with your own teammates? Like the F*cker I had earlier in EotS that grabbed the flag and spent 15 minutes running around taunting us and refusing to cap? Worst holiday event ever.
nikdaheratik May 6th 2010 6:58PM
The only super annoying part of SoHK was EoS. After 4-5 failed BGs, I realized that the best strat is to kill and cap the opposing teams flag runner since you don't have to wait for the cast time, but can pick it up instantly. I managed to do it on a frost mage with no pvp gear, so it wasn't super terrible. All the same, I'm not sure if I want to do it on my actual PvP toon as it's just a single mount...
The rest were relatively easy as the hordies helped out sometimes. So it was a matter of doing WSG 2 or 3 times until you got one where the hordies helped, then 2 AVs until you got one where the hordies helped and a moron wasn't trying to grief them. ABs are the same as well.
Irem May 6th 2010 7:01PM
"Oh, and the Darkmoon Faire isn't actually available most of the time, either. If you can't manage to get your hands on enough decks while they're around for the first part of every month, congratulations! You get to wait another month!"
Or you can be impatient like me and turn in something like 700+ Rogues Decks. >_>
I think I spent a week underwater farming stranglekelp. That's not the "title" kind of insane, that's the "our guildmate has been riding around on a turtle picking kelp nonstop forever, commit her" kind of insane. The bad kind of insane. In my defense I only had DMF left and was so antsy I couldn't wait the extra two weeks.
Hazerduz May 6th 2010 7:33PM
LOL School of Hard knocks #2, and yet it took me 3 days to get done on the 9 char of mine that didn't already have it. Was frustrating at points getting killed right before a cap, but that's what makes it an achievement, otherwise they be called gimmies.
squig_masta May 6th 2010 7:47PM
Funny story. It turns out the Bloodsail Buccaneers hate Bootybay, NOT the whole of steamwheedle Cartel. I discovered accidentally when doing loremaster in Stonetalon mountains that I could do quests that boost my rep with Rathchet (and thus the rest of the Cartel) and the Dumbsails were none the wiser! If you have any quests you forgot to do in Kalimdore related to the goblins, turn them in for easy peasy rep! Just uhhh, ya know, make sure the Booty Bay Goblins don't sing your praise too loudly...