Sorry in advance for the wall of text, but hopefully some information within can help.


My husband and I both play wow. We started playing together because friends at work talked us into it (after a year of trying.)

We've had our ups and downs and times we've both felt the other has focused more on the game than each other.

Sometimes we do. However we both enjoy the game and we try to take time away to just ourselves, be it a scheduled date night or special occasion (anniversary, etc) or an impromptu movie. I enjoy raiding much more than he does, so this makes it harder for me to commit to randomly not logging on. However, when he bought Avatar (and after a night upgrading the blueray software) I logged off and we watched it. For us it works out.

A former guildie almost lost his family over WoW. His wife was about to have a baby and we were in the middle of a raid. Her labor started and he kept playing because "The last one lasted 8 hours before her water actually broke." The next day he quit wow.

Another guildie felt he was spending more time in game than with his family so he took a break. Quit cold turkey. He's back playing now, but he and his wife have an agreement on how long a day/week he is able to play and he's stepped back from his former role of raid leader so he's not setting them up or anything.

Basically, AFK, talk to your wife and let her know it's something you enjoy and that you aren't going to just stop something you enjoy because she doesn't like it. That'd be like me telling my husband not to watch UFC or WWE or going out to his friends' houses for a guy's night, or him telling me to stop watching Ghost Hunters, crocheting, or writing poetry.

A spouse should _never_ make their partner change their tastes and interests. However if I were to spend all day every day watching Ghost Hunters, crocheting, and writing poetry from the time I get up to the time I go to bed and never spend any time with him, then I'm doing something wrong.

If he watched UFC or WWE all day and never talked to me, then he's doing something wrong.

Limit yourself, but don't stop what you enjoy. Be reasonable with your requests but firm that you need your 'me time' just as much as the 'we time.'

If she is unable to cope with you having this interest and desire to play and she demands you not play at home, THEN you need marriage counseling, or you need to seriously consider where your relationship will be in 10 years. Not just the relationship itself, but you. In 10 years do you see yourself hiding the game at work, potentially losing your job because you can't pursue your interests at home? Do you see yourself finding another interest, such as rebuilding a classic car for example, and her saying you spend too much time in the garage? Replace that with a yard project, and same thing?

There is an underlying issue that needs to be addressed, and there really is no... easy... way to find it. You have to ask her. You have to talk to her, and you have to use probing questions to find out what's really on her mind. It may be that she's afraid of the stereotype that "men who play wow ignore their wives' and she just doesn't want to lose you. Could be you just need to console her and come to an agreement that shows her you do love her and care about her and that she is your priority.

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