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5-17-2010 @ 10:39AM
My question about the lovely feedback letter is...who cares for the toddler on "a personal day where we are to pursue individual activities". I dunno about them, but for the most part that means the man is free to pursue, and the woman is free...as long as she has the kids with her. That is the usual reality. I never minded it, but I wasn't trying to raid at the time.
5-17-2010 @ 11:07AM
Just have personal days on different days of the week?
5-17-2010 @ 11:13AM
Or maybe, like reasonable adults, they realised you cant have a day free to pursue individual persuits, with a toddler sitting on your lap. So maybe its one day (with babysitter or toddler at friends) for together time or the 'date' night, one day (Dad free, mum with toddler) and one day (Mum free, Dad with toddler), and finally, but in no way least or last, a family day...Although it does make me wonder what they then classify the other 3 days as.....
5-17-2010 @ 11:22AM
Sinthar, you are being WAY too hard on kunukia. I don't think her assumption is unreasonable considering AFK's recent history (there was no family day for example).The mom as the default caregiver is extremely common and is also my reality.I have deleted the inflammatory part of your comment.
5-17-2010 @ 11:34AM
Woot! What I said provoked inflammatory!There are many couples who would do just the reasonable things you suggested, Sinthar. However, there are many who would not even think it necessary, and I am talking the woman as well as the guy. We female types are mostly hardwired (genetically) to WANT to care for the kids. It's cool. Each family has to work it out for themselves.
5-18-2010 @ 7:22AM
I dont think asking someone to be more even handed as being inflametory. In fact in the current age, this is something i find objectionable tbh. Please note i ASKED. I did not berate, nor insult. As i am not actually allowed to voice my objection over what is imho sexist views, even in what i consider to be an non accusatory way, and ask for more consideration, i fail to see any point in continuing to post here.I know we dont have 'freedom of speech' rights as this is a private blog. But i feel what you have done is taking it too far.
5-17-2010 @ 12:24PM
Wonderful to hear about AFK resolving his at-home issues. I consider myself really lucky my wife plays too, but still, we had conflict off-and-on for a long time over the fact that it was "taking over" and last year took steps to counter it.1. We don't play on Mondays or Thursdays (Monday is usually TV night and Thursday date night, but sometimes we switch em). Breaks up the week quite nicely. If something comes up we can swap Tuesday for Monday, or Wednesday for Thursday.2. We can play all weekend if we want, provided it's "idle time" - Saturday and Sunday, WoW gets priority over absolutely nothing. Grocery shopping, mowing the lawn, dinner with the in-laws, a cousin's birthday party - if it exists, it's more important. WoW gets the scraps RL leaves behind, not vice versa. But if/when there's nothing going on, we can just nerd out and love it.This arrangement protects our guild's Friday Night Raid (3 years strong and counting), gives us together-time, allows us to see the new tweaks on patch Tuesdays when applicable, and puts social life first when applicable. If you're dealing with real life/game life conflict, the key is just to communicate, draw up a plan, and be ready to tweak it as needed til you have something both parties can live with.
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