Breakfast Topic: Lil Timmy, destroyer of worlds
by Brian Cutaia 
Jun 2nd 2010 at 8:00AM
Every few hours or so, an NPC named Lil Timmy magically appears on the streets of Stormwind. He walks through town, musing to himself about the meaning of the word "allergic," offering one lucky person the chance to buy an adorable white kitten. He's a sweet little boy, right?
Wrong! Lil Timmy has fooled all of you. Think about it ... A 9-year-old with an endless supply of cats who wanders around at all hours of the night? There's something sinister going on here. It's obvious that this kid is all part of some nefarious plot. If you were to part the fur and look closely at that kitten's belly, I bet you'd find a timer, ticking down the days until detonation. It all makes perfect sense if you think about it. Lil Timmy is the herald of Deathwing, hiding in plain sight in the form of an unkillable child, selling you the very exploding kittens that will help bring on the coming Cataclysm. At least that's what I like to think ...
The World of Warcraft is full of characters. I'm not talking about those major lore characters we've watched develop over the years. I'm referring instead to the one-dimensional extras that help make Azeroth feel more alive. I've found that some of these unimportant NPCs have left even more of an impact on me than the Tirions and Thralls of the world. Sure, Arthas may have a compelling story, but I just can't relate to him as much as the "work is da poop" guys out in Netherwing Ledge. (Hang in there, my disobedient red brothers.)
So what about you, Breakfast Topiceers? Do you have any favorite bit characters? If so, have you ever given any of them your own background stories and personalities?
Have you ever wanted to write for WoW.com? Your chance may be right around the corner. Watch for our next call for submissions for articles via Seed, the Aol guest writer program that brings your words to WoW.com. The next byline you see here may be yours!Filed under: Breakfast Topics, Guest Posts
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 6)
WoWie Zowie Jun 2nd 2010 8:05AM
perry gatner at the worlds end tavern. he's up to something
Perry Gatner: Here's a good one, why do watermelons have water in them?
Perry Gatner: Because they are planted in the spring!
Haris Pilton: That joke's hot.
Myf Jun 2nd 2010 8:13AM
I wonder if Lil Timmy will be Big Timmy in Cataclysm.....
Silverpie Jun 2nd 2010 5:29PM
Ah, how soon we forget... Big Timmy is a boss in the Scarlet Bastion (live side of Stratholme).
Kanuris Jun 3rd 2010 9:14AM
TIMMY!
Timmy the Cruel to be exact. But i like the idea that Timmy's kittens are sinister time bombs, would be hilarious if they all detonated at once with some server-wide buildup. Not a huge loss, just kills anyone with the White Kitten pet, but would certainly give the players something to talk about.
Crimson Jun 2nd 2010 8:15AM
Captain Placeholder.
Smooth were your moves,
Swift were your teleports.
You shall be in our hearts forever...
SunGod228 Jun 2nd 2010 9:06AM
On distant spring shores we wait
No longer easy traveling
Captain Placeholder we miss
Koompje Jun 2nd 2010 8:20AM
I allways loved the fruit vendor in Shattrah
sh0wtime Jun 2nd 2010 8:25AM
YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED FRUIT VENDOR! I KNOW ABOUT YOUR OGRE ARMY!
http://www.wowwiki.com/Cro_Threadstrong
DeathPaladin Jun 2nd 2010 8:26AM
IF WAR IS WHAT YOU WANT, WAR IS WHAT YOU SHALL GET, FRUIT VENDOR!
Lucidique Jun 2nd 2010 9:08AM
HATERS GONNA HATE
Mondi Jun 2nd 2010 1:50PM
Cro Threadstrong is the greatest NPC of all time. If only he still yelled. Nothing brightened my day more when I was going through my bank quite like seeing his yells at Granny Smith the fruit vendor.
"I'VE CRUSHED AN APPLE..."
Granny's oblivious responses are good too: "What is that poor orc yelling about? Someone should see what is going on."
Honorable mention goes to Chester Copperpot (near the flight path for Ulduar), not because of anything he says or does, but because I can't resist a good Goonies reference.
"Chester Copperpot, he was a pro, he never made it this far... We've got a chance."
DeathPaladin Jun 2nd 2010 8:21AM
On the topic of Lil Timmy, I was on my Paladin, patrolling between the Keep and the Trade District during the zombie invasion, when I saw him walking towards me through the haze of death hanging over the city. The Canal District was almost completely deserted. It was just me and him. There was no sound as we both stood there, each of us appraising the other. These were dark times, and trust was a rare commodity in those days.
Timmy was the first to break the silence. "Want a kitten?" he asked. I took the kitten off his hands, and gave him several silver coins in return. To this day, when we pass each other in the streets, we don't say anything to each other. Just a nod.
Scott Jun 2nd 2010 8:22AM
The children of Goldshire.
God they creep me out.
epsilon343 Jun 2nd 2010 8:52AM
Years back when I first started playing I wandered into that house when it was night time on my level 3 or 4 Paladin and just logged off a few seconds later.
Alex Jun 2nd 2010 8:24AM
WHY IT PUT DA BOOTERANG ON DA SKIN?? WHY??
Tomatketchup Jun 2nd 2010 8:47AM
WORK IS DA POOP!!
Magius Jun 2nd 2010 11:08AM
Always loved that when you are winning the fight they go: "Uh oh"
DigitalMonitor Jun 2nd 2010 12:12PM
ME NOT THAT KIND OF ORC!
james Jun 2nd 2010 8:32AM
STAND BACK, GAMON WILL SAVE YOU!
Wuvlycuddles Jun 2nd 2010 8:43AM
Ah poor old Gamon, we're so mean to the poor fellow. He is beaten up and robbed on a regular basis. Mark my words, the final wow expansion won't be about Sargeras, it'll be the WRATH OF GAMON, the guys gotta have some serious pent up rage by now, maybe the Cataclysm is his fault and Deathwing just steals the credit?