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6-25-2010 @ 2:27PM
Hai Peenk,It’s your Cousin Da’Nomie Shmoxelpoxets, the warlock from Draenor. I was reading your letter and realized, I only lived with my momy, Dina “Sneaky” Smurff Shmoxelpoxets, and that I had no idea what to make of my daddy. I love my momy dearly but Dina “Sneaky” Smurff is a rogue and as such, is well sneaky, so who knows what she does when she is sneaking around. Also, she is also an inscriber and engineer on the side. Although, I know she prefers sneaking. (Don’t tell her I know this, but Picking Locks and Pick Pocketing are her best moneymakers.) For the last five level years, I have lived with her and my grandma Pixiestixx Shmoxelpoxets, who was once a great Gnome rogue herself, who succumbed to Arthas Menethil's evil ways, but who has moved back in with mom in Stormwind and who is trying to redeem herself and is now a death knight, Blacksmith and Jewelcrafter, vowing to reclaim her good name, while supporting the alliance cause. Since those two were always sneaking off, and I was always setting things on fire or cursing them, I had never thought about it before. My mom was quite amazed when after several generations of rogues and warriors in the family; when she found that I had an early aptitude for magic. I was setting things on fire and then cursing them by the age level of one, and then I found this imp, named Bel-Tip, in Elwynn forest when I was nine, I gave him treats and I made him my friend. (I also threatened to curse him to death, he seemed afraid of someone who could throw curses around.) He helped me meet some peoples in the Slaughtered Lamb in Stormwind, and thus my dabbling in the Dark Arts began. Now at 80 levels of age, I am wandering all around Azeroth and Draneor trying to help my grandma defeat Arthas and get back our family name. We are also highly involved in the planning and soon to be execution of the retaking of Gnomeregan. High Mechengineer is after my mom’s talents. (If you know what I mean?) Anyways, I decided after reading your letter to go home and ask Sneaky about my Daddy. Mind you Sneaky has a quick temper, so you have to stay out of range of her Fan of Knives when asking sensitive questions, also, you have be careful as she has a few daggers and swords hidden around too, and can pull them from all kinds of hidden pockets, and she can disappear when necessary, a talent I never learned, but I sure did figure out how to detect invisibility, can you imagine, your mom sneaking in and listening to your conversation with your Friends or Boyfriends??? To find out about dad, I knew I would have to ask her face to face. I went home and told grandma I wanted to ask mom some serious questions. She looked puzzled but helped me fix mom’s favorite dinner, A Fish Feast. After dinner (when she had put her knife down on the table, well at least one of them), I read her your letter and said Mom, I really want to know about my dad. Silence. Dead silence, that’s what greeted me. I mean that kind of silence that only happens when you know some bad doo doo is about to go down. I started sweating, and the fact that I’m a destruction Warlock did not help. My Clothes started smoking, and Fel Flame was glowing out of my Spire Sandals and my Black &White Kitteh RaRa jumped up on top of the cabinet to get out of the way of the fire, she had been under the table eating tidbits of fish we had all given her.Sneaky looked at Pixie, Pixie looked at Sneaky and then after what seemed like five million hours of that long silence (but was probably only like ten seconds) Pixie said, I knew this time would come, so it is time for ME, to tell you the truth. She said, “'Nomie, I am sorry, I am sorry that I lied to you, and that I made Sneaky lie to you.” And then in a half whisper, half shout she flailed “I am your mother!” I was like “Wha? My legs went numb, my eyes started watering, and the room started swirling, and in a vivid-color flashback, it must have been the magic in my heart that helped me see what she had gone through. As she retold the tale, I saw my grandma’s, no my mother’s love story unfold. Before the time of the rise of Arthas, the Gnomes were friends with the Dwarves of iron forge, who shared their knowledge of metallurgy with the Humans of Stormwind. My grandma, who had been recently widowed, was left to care for my sister Dina “Sneaky” Smurff by herself, when my grandpa Ronsdorf accidentally blew himself up in an engineering experiment. Sneaky was almost old enough to go to M in Stormwind to train to be a Master Rogue, at age level 40 she was practicing all her tricks of the trade. However, In order to make enough money to care for herself and for Sneaky, and send her to M she went to Ironforge (too pick a few pockets, ahem) and to have a blade made, crafted from the finest materials that she could find, so that she could get more work and complete more tasks, and perhaps join a raiding guild for money and lucrative items to sell. She went to the Dwarven forge master and he sent her to Stormwind, to the cathedral to look for the Paladin Zanderelix. The Forgemaster had told Pixie her that Zander’s guild was the only guild that had been able to reach deep enough inside of the Molten Core for the hidden recipes that would allow her to create her blade, and he warned her that it would cost her a lot of gold for the materials, but Pixie wasn’t worried, she was a rogue after all. Grandma took the tram to the dwarven district of Stormwind, mounted up on her Mechanostrider and trotted off toward the cathedral. She went to the paladin trainer and asked about Zander, she was told that he could be found in the depths of Blackrock, training for his next foray into the Molten Core. Grandma took the gryphon path to Thorium Point in Searing Gorge, she was only age level 60, and was all alone, she mounted her Mechanostrider and headed off toward Blackrock Mountain. When she got to the cavernous entrance, she cloaked herself and snuck inside, around the giant molten lava middle and up to the chain that led to the center of the mountain its self. She snuck down the chain and into some ruins and followed the path the Paladin trainer had given her. When she reached the stone elf statue that stood at the entrance of Molten Core, she shuddered; he seemed to see right through her invisibility to her very soul. She paused for a moment and then turned right, and went into the chamber that was the entrance to Blackrock depths. On the far side of the cavern was a tiny figure fighting off what seemed to be hundreds of dark iron dwarves with his giant hammer. Without thinking of the danger to herself she ran to help. She sapped one, she stabbed many and in the end only she and the paladin remained. He looked down at the tiny gnome, and she looked up at the giant human paladin glowing with the Light, and they fell in love. She joined his guild, and they raided Molten Core, defeating Ragnaros, and when the Dark Portal was opened, they stepped through together, to defeat Illidan and lady Vasjh and Kel. Near the end of the time of their stay inside the dark portal, my grandmother discovered that she was to have a child. She did not want Zander to leave her, she was afraid he would not want to have a child, as he was a fighter at heart and would always want to search the world to do good, “for the light.” So, in the middle of the next night, she left a note on his pillow and disappeared from her normal haunts, her family and all her friends, messages went unanswered and time went by very slowly for them. For Pixie, She foraged blindly until she had the baby, she carried the baby back to Stormwind and found Sneaky, she told Sneaky that her heart was so broken by what she had done that she was leaving, leaving for Northrend on a death defying quest to fight this strange new zombie plague that was breaking out. Sneaky took the baby and laid her on the bed, when she turned around, Pixie was gone. As the dizziness faded, I looked up from my plate, the room was settling in, so many questions had been, where was my dad? Wait, a Human, a PALADIN was my dad, hey I like fire and demons, um...I'm a lock, can we say antithesis? Wait, cross race babies? Wait was he alive, ok wait how did grandma become a death night and come back to us? I couldn’t even speak because of how my mind was racing. I just picked up my satchels and left. I took the boat from Stormwind to Northrend, and flew to Dalaran, when I got there, I checked the mail and I had gotten messages from my mom and grandma in the mailbox, asking if I was ok, I didn’t answer them, but I did send message my friend Lauriainna, who my mom had filled in, that I was wondering Northrend, looking for things to immolate. That’s how I got my name, I was the little gnomey , or Da’nomie, the little baby with no one but her aunt to help her. I don’t know how Sneaky kept the secret all these levels, or even how my Grandma, well Ma, got back to us in Stormwind, but what I do know is that I have to find my Father, even If I have to search to the ends of Azeroth. Goodbye for now, Da’Nomie
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