Breakfast Topic: It's probably all the tuskarr's fault

The patron Loa of the Kalu'ak tribe is Oacha'noa, a sea goddess of immeasurable power. How do I know that this eternal is infused with incredible strength? One simple fact -- the tuskarr have not been wiped off the map by their formidable enemies, including the kvaldir, the brutal, devastating mist-walkers fueled by fervor after the desecration of Shield Hill. Trolls, murlocs, gorlocs, kvaldir and wolvar all have run against the impenetrable icy wall of tuskarr and failed to end their tribes. They are protected, watched over and fueled by a Loa god as powerful as the seas themselves. And they must be stopped.
The Lich King is no stranger to testing the strength and will of peoples to serve in his undead army. In fact, the very players themselves are part of this vast, expansion-spanning plan. Northrend is the Lich King's land. He shapes it as he sees fit, pitting tribes against tribes, trolls against trolls and corrupted foe against corrupted foe. The Lich King could very well be testing the tuskarr tribes -- stealing their supplies, corrupting and tricking the well-natured people into stealing the children of their enemies, and destroying the reef bull's attraction to their mates. It is nefarious, to say the least.

So, dear readers, whose fault is all of this, really? Is Basic Campfire going to be the spark that ignites the fires of war? What sinister force on Azeroth, previously unknown to adventurers and factions alike, will rear its ugly head and threaten us all?
Filed under: Breakfast Topics






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 4)
Brimoonfang Aug 10th 2010 8:04AM
There is a very good reason why the achievement for being Exalted with the
Kalu'ak is called Tuskarrmageddon...
http://www.wowhead.com/achievement=949
Jamie Aug 10th 2010 8:07AM
The Crazy Cat Lady is in league with Old Icebeard (the hogger of Dun Morogh) to ensure poor Clara can't give us anymore of her apples.
Why is this a diabolical!!?? I'm glad you asked, those were the apples the unamed young Westfall farmhand used to eat before he polished Ghostcrawler's yacht!!! Without that Yacht the players would never be able to get to Tol Barad and end the war going on there.
Without the war of Tol Barad ending the PvP crowd won't be interested in making up the numbers for Deathwring raids, thus Deathwing will continue to live and probably eat the apples from Clara.
...
We're through the looking glass here people.
ScorchHellfire Aug 10th 2010 5:44PM
Every Villain Is Lemons
Euranne Aug 11th 2010 3:24PM
@ScorchHellfire
Kudos on the Spongebob reference, but I'm not sure how many of this crowd are in on that. :P
Sleutel Aug 10th 2010 8:11AM
Nooooooooo, not my adorable frumpy grandpa walrus!
GnomishMight Aug 10th 2010 8:19AM
The frump is a ruse! Open your eyes, man!
Maymer Aug 10th 2010 9:14AM
The Frump is a Lie
RetPallyJil Aug 10th 2010 8:12AM
Tuskarr evil?
... Yeah ok, I can go with that. Of course, I still think the naaru are up to no good.
RussGreene Aug 10th 2010 8:22AM
Wait up, you're a paladin who doesn't trust the Naaru? What?
Killik Aug 10th 2010 8:44AM
The Naaru are up to no good. Don't trust them- their eyes are too close together.
RetPallyJil Aug 10th 2010 9:02AM
Yes, well ... they look way too much like Space Invaders.
Alchemistmerlin Aug 10th 2010 11:47AM
I agree, as a fellow paladin, the Naaru are evil.
Trying to tell me the holy light comes from them and not from personal internal strength. Totally undermining the lore that made the light an interesting faith in the first place.
Evil.
Derrek Aug 10th 2010 12:33PM
I've never seen anything in-game that says the Light comes from the Naaru. According to the Burning Crusade FAQ page, the Naaru are "a race of beings with a deep affinity for the Holy Light of Creation that empowers the paladins of Azeroth."
They like the Light. A lot. But it doesn't say the Light comes from them.
However, there was that little incident that led to the forging of the Ashbringer. Blizzard has yet to explain that one in detail, but there's not enough proof to accuse the Naaru of being evil.
Cure4Living Aug 10th 2010 2:04PM
"a race of beings with a deep affinity for the Holy Light of Creation that empowers the paladins of Azeroth"
Either the Naaru are beings with an affinity for the holy light and the holy light empowers paladins or they are a race with an affinity for the light who also happen to be the ones that empower paladins. Read it carefully you'll see it can have more than one meaning.
Calaana Aug 11th 2010 12:09AM
All the lore I've read points to the Naruu being made of the Light, rather than being the ones who make the Light, which would still mean they *are* the Light, but important distinction. Kind of like the Light personified, taking an actual hand in the grand scheme rather than leaving it up to some creepy old guy in the middle of whoop whoop to choose the "blessed" one and hope his libido was right.
Tim Aug 10th 2010 8:17AM
Basic Campfire still makes me laugh. I think Mr. McCurley was using novacaine whilst writing this post.
Josin Aug 10th 2010 8:18AM
I still want to know what they're doing with all those baby Wolvar. I've brought them hundreds of the things, and I've yet to see even one wandering or playing in the village. I do however, see a lot of tiny wicker baskets... are they keeping baby wolvar like veal?
Something to consider.
Killik Aug 10th 2010 8:46AM
Must rescue more delicious orphans.
Cyrus Aug 10th 2010 8:54AM
"Rescue" should be "create".
Prances in Underpantss Aug 10th 2010 9:00AM
Why is there no cooking recipe for this wolvar veal?! I guess the Tuskarr really are evil for keeping this from us!