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Breakfast Topic: It's probably all the tuskarr's fault

I am of the opinion that the tuskarr are hiding something sinister, something malevolent and something dangerous. I am of the opinion that the leaders of the Kalu'ak, Elders Ko'nani, Muahit and Atuik, are in fervent service to their patron Loa and harbor (get it?) a dangerous, deep, abiding and protective nature towards the sea. The sea is the most sacred thing to the Kalu'ak people, and they will do anything and make any deal to protect it.

The patron Loa of the Kalu'ak tribe is Oacha'noa, a sea goddess of immeasurable power. How do I know that this eternal is infused with incredible strength? One simple fact -- the tuskarr have not been wiped off the map by their formidable enemies, including the kvaldir, the brutal, devastating mist-walkers fueled by fervor after the desecration of Shield Hill. Trolls, murlocs, gorlocs, kvaldir and wolvar all have run against the impenetrable icy wall of tuskarr and failed to end their tribes. They are protected, watched over and fueled by a Loa god as powerful as the seas themselves. And they must be stopped.

The Lich King is no stranger to testing the strength and will of peoples to serve in his undead army. In fact, the very players themselves are part of this vast, expansion-spanning plan. Northrend is the Lich King's land. He shapes it as he sees fit, pitting tribes against tribes, trolls against trolls and corrupted foe against corrupted foe. The Lich King could very well be testing the tuskarr tribes -- stealing their supplies, corrupting and tricking the well-natured people into stealing the children of their enemies, and destroying the reef bull's attraction to their mates. It is nefarious, to say the least.

There was another group, once, that was so blood-crazed with power and promises from its eternal Loa guardian and then went on to threaten the very existence of the races of Azeroth -- the Atal'ai and their prophet Jammal'an. Tuskarr, you are sliding down a slippery slope not just of ice, penguins and adorable turtles, but of corruption and power. The kvaldir know you are a threat, drawn to immense power, seeking those artifacts. One day, walruses, you will make a pact with the wrong eternal, in protection of your sacred seas. We will come for you one day, elders of the tribes of the Southern Coast, when you have slipped from your bonds of sanity and connection to this world. We will take your precious trinkets and armor tokens from you. No amount of whaling and fishing can save you, Kalu'ak. "Who is this who speaks?" indeed. It is the sound of your end.

So, dear readers, whose fault is all of this, really? Is Basic Campfire going to be the spark that ignites the fires of war? What sinister force on Azeroth, previously unknown to adventurers and factions alike, will rear its ugly head and threaten us all?

Filed under: Breakfast Topics

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