Lolegolas sighed and gulped the last dregs of his wine cooler with great haste. At his well-manicured feet, three humans lay unconscious. While the skilled and graceful blood elf had managed to avoid slaughtering the three, the Alliance members clearly showed the signs of a solid beating.
As Lolegolas collected his things to leave, a strange object slammed into the humans. It looked like it could be a wooden cutout of the letter "V," but a dozen whirling gears were firing at random and spinning like crazy. Small arms and gadgets rifled through the humans' pockets before, finally, the object took off back to the air. It landed with a thud in a thick, black leather glove.
"Oh, god," Lolegolas sighed. "Of course it's you."
"Halt, evil-doer! Miscreant!" the newcomer exclaimed. "Thug! Rogue!"
"Of course. All of Dalaran, and this is exactly where you are," Lolegolas said. "Throgg, what are you doing?"
"I am not Throgg!" the large orc bellowed. He was wearing head-to-toe black leather and a vast sweeping cape. "I am Bat-Throgg!"
"And what was that thing?" Lolegolas said. He gestured for the passing brewmaiden to bring him another wine cooler. "It took all the loot from the humans."
"That is my Bat-Loot-A-Rang! It is my trusty tool in fighting evil."
Lolegolas rested his face in his hands as his wine cooler arrived. "Loot-A-Rang. What does it do?"
Throgg lifted the mechanical item in the air, flexing his bicep as he did so. "I throw it at the corpses of my enemies, and it retrieves their gold and items for me. Very handy, very convenient. It collects the loot and it gives me 56 stamina."
"And, you just run around Dalaran throwing it at people, then? That's your idea of a good time?"
Throgg smiled slowly. "Can be yours, too!"
Lolegolas gasped as the orc lifted a shiny, green thong in the air.
- 56 Stamina
- Retrieves the loot from a nearby corpse. (10 sec cooldown.)
How to get rid of it It sells for 2 gold and 25 silver. It can disenchant into a nexus crystal or a small glimmering shard.
Gallery: Phat Loot Phriday: Cataclysm
Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing email@example.com.
Filed under: Phat Loot Phriday