Threat #0.5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfXSEjd80nA

They're boarding my ship!

http://colbertnoooooo.ytmnd.com/

Now listen. And listen good, because this is important. A lot of you, like me, might hate Mongor the bear accountant. I'm sure I don't need to say why, but I will. He's a bear. And he's an accountant. But I tell you this. That damned bear accountant bastard saved my life, and the lives of my family in the Great Ohio River Pancake Fry-o-Lator-thon Disaster of 1996. As long as I live I will never forget that day. So why do I call him a bastard? Because we haven't had a conversation since that doesn't at some point include "Hey, remember the time I saved your life, and the lives of your family in the Great Ohio River Pancake Fry-o-Lator-thon Disaster of 1996?" This usually comes after he asks for 5 bucks for "a pack of smokes." I know what he smokes, and it doesn't come in packs.

But I'll say this for him. That hairy bear bastard knows his add-ons. As much as I hate to say this, take his advice. Or don't. I'm pretty sure he's imaginary.

Mongor the bear accountant is indeed real.