Phat Loot Phriday: Captain Taylor's Chopper
by Michael Gray 
Sep 3rd 2010 at 1:00PM
"Walk him along," Lolegolas said with a sorrowful voice. "Throgg, carry him along. Captain Taylor gained us this day."
The orc hefted the captain's favorite weapon. Captain Taylor's Chopper was a simple board from the deck of his ship with a deck nail driven through it. "We'll carry him to his burying ground where it's stormy. And I will lower him to his rest with my own two hands."
The pair reached the shallow grave and bent at the waist to lower the coffin with due solemnity. "Captain Taylor, he's gone where the stormy winds won't blow. Lower him down, Throgg."
As the two finished the burial, Throgg hefted the axe in a fist like a ham. "On every inch, I will carve his name. And we will reckon him, reckon it along."
The blonde elf threw an arm around his big friend as the two slowly walked away.
Captain Taylor's Chopper
Type: One-Hand Axe
Vitals: 391 - 727 Damage,Speed 2.60; (215.1 damage per second)
Attributes:
- 65 agility
- 98 stamina
- Improves critical strike rating by 43
- Increases your expertise rating by 43
Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing gray@wow.com. Filed under: Phat Loot Phriday
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
native Sep 3rd 2010 1:07PM
getting very sick of cataclysm already.
Psiwave Sep 3rd 2010 1:11PM
I am a little too. However I'm far more sick of wrath
Perhaps a beta key would act as an innoculation....
Scooter Sep 3rd 2010 2:02PM
Take a break then. Plenty of other activities to do in the mean time. Remember this is just a game. Don't let it control your life.
Jean_Luc_Picard Sep 3rd 2010 2:33PM
How can a piece of wood be more powerful then thunderfury, I will never understand themepark itemization...
Todd Sep 3rd 2010 2:59PM
I don't understand why this is an axe, and not a club (mace).
Native Sep 3rd 2010 3:22PM
you miss my point. i'm not sick of the game. i'm sick of Cataclysm which hasn't even been realeased yet. there are plenty of nice, interesting and even quirky items which are in the game currently which could be spotlighted here instead of some quest reward available only in closed beta.
of all the articles and features on the website i would assume this would be the one that would be least likely to contain Cataclysm info.
i assumed wrong.
Prances in Underpantss Sep 3rd 2010 4:45PM
"How can a piece of wood be more powerful then thunderfury"
Did you not see the massive spike going through it? Sure to impale anyone's head, with or without armor.
Donhorn Sep 3rd 2010 6:09PM
@Native: Huh, I'd assume that since the last handful of Phat Loot Phridays have been Cata items would have been a good clue that there is Cata info in here.
There is no escaping the Cataclysm, at least on the interwebs. If you are really that sick of it then I'd say your only hope is to stay off the internet and just barricade yourself in Wrath until it comes out. The closer we get to it's release the more all over the place it's gonna get, and honestly, I'm in beta now, it ROCKS, but I don't think it's gonna make the 2010 release unless they kick things up a couple dozen notches, so you could be waiting for a couple months into 2011 yet.
velutina Sep 3rd 2010 1:07PM
Great Big Sea for the win! Of course in the song it's 'General' Taylor. We'll dig his grave with a silver spade and lower him with a golden chain. On every inch of the chain we'll carve his name.
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/greatbigsea/generaltaylor.html
Nina Katarina Sep 3rd 2010 1:54PM
It's a folksong. Variation in lyrics is compulsory. If you think you know the right way to sing a folk song, you're not a real folkie.
Nina Katarina Sep 3rd 2010 2:03PM
Steeleye Span did it, too. The 1847 battle that they refer to in the shanty, between General Taylor and Santa Ana, actually ended completely oppositely to how it's usually sung. Santiana gained the day, General Taylor ran away.
http://www.informatik.uni-hamburg.de/~zierke/steeleye.span/songs/generaltaylor.html
Angrycelt Sep 3rd 2010 3:31PM
I'm just stunned anyone else has heard of Great Big Sea.... and quickly switches to iTunes for some good music.
Guess they don't really fit into the traditional California scene though.
Donhorn Sep 3rd 2010 6:01PM
I started reading this article then AHHHHHHHHHH GREAT BIG SEA! I love their music!
And I woke up wanting to put on some Great Big Sea today, it's like a pre music starting bonus!
johnthediver Sep 3rd 2010 1:08PM
Um? Do I fail at reading or does this not say where it comes from or how to get it?
Prances in Underpantss Sep 3rd 2010 4:53PM
I assume you get it from Captain Taylor.
I'm usually pretty good at predic-..er.. detecting these things.
(That ones for you, Grovin)
Amaxe Sep 4th 2010 2:05AM
http://cata.wowhead.com/quest=25545
bui Sep 3rd 2010 1:12PM
I have one of those from outland, its of the champion. Its not that powerful however but I do so love the board with a nail in it.
Imnick Sep 3rd 2010 1:20PM
These "descriptions" are just getting more and more surreal and undescriptive.
I'm not even sure what this item is or why it is significant.
cartmensfoe Sep 3rd 2010 3:03PM
Correct me if i'm wrong, but i believe (SPOILER) captain taylor is the captain of the alliance gunship in deepholm. The ship is taken over by twilights and you (the hero) save the ship when captain taylor hammers (or ties) himself to the ship wheel to keep it from crashing, giving you time to save the day.
Imnick Sep 3rd 2010 4:22PM
Well it would be nice if it had this actually useful information in the post, as well as the little fanfiction