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9-07-2010 @ 2:50PM
Contact the CDC! The "Cataclysmitus Uberrockitus" is a known virus starting to spread in the workforce. It's diagnosed primarily by amateur physicians, with symptoms including sudden onset of headache, fever, cold-like symptoms, vomiting, aching back and possible blindness, usually peaking around 9:30 a.m. These symptoms persist until treated with extreme exposure to certain light ranges similar to that of a computer monitor.If you feel you have caught "Cataclysmitus Uberrockitus," do not seek medical help, but rather stay home from work and expose as much of your body to the light of a computer monitor. Continue treatment for 2-3 months or until broke from not working.
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