WoW Rookie: These darn kids today need to learn ...

Some of the most interesting, informative posts at WoW.com start out as rollicking debates in Pandora's Box of Geekery and Chaos (aka the WoW.com staff chat room). A screenshot of the transcript on any given day would show a couple of links to pending articles ready for editorial review, a .jpg of something completely off-topic (usually veering toward the truly bizarre), and clips from the current crop of post comments and Twitter stream, all vying for attention amidst a lengthy, heated argument over game lore or some new beta feature -- and (in regards to the latter debate) capped off with an exhortation from Editor-in-Chief Dan O'Halloran (almost certainly in LOLcat form): "Who's writing this up?"
So I wrote this up.
What piece of sheer new-player obliviousness causes WoW.com writers to snap? Find out what sets off the rage (plus links to some handy resources that'll help put out the fires) after the break. Be sure to drop by the comments to share (and solve) your own most dreaded rookie pitfalls!

Matt "Matticus" Low:
- ... that heals can crit.
- ... that you don't need hit to heal.
- ... that disc priests can heal.
Plate of cookies if you bold, underline, italicize and put it in giant, neon pink, flashing signs. ROAAAARRRR!
Chase Christian: ... to single-target mobs until the tank has sufficient threat to AoE.
Robin Torres: ... to listen to and follow directions! If someone is taking the time to explain an encounter or a BG strategy or whatever, pay attention, please.
Michael Gray: ... that if you're OTing, don't taunt off the MT.
Amanda Miller: ... to target the tank's target.
Michael Gray: ^ This.
Joe Perez:
- ... to learn to assist train.
- ... to learn to not stand in fire (wishful thinking).
- ... to learn to wait for healers to have mana before pulling.
- ... to learn to Ice Block / Invis / Vanish / Fade / Feign Death properly.
- ... to learn to not break CC.

- ... that if you're not the tank, don't pull things.
- ... that if you're the tank, don't pull things if your healer isn't around.
- ... that if you're being attacked, run to the tank, not away from him.
Dan O'Halloran: ... that if you are DPS and keep dying, don't yell at the tank for not taunting or the healer for not healing. Aggro management is everyone's responsibility, aka don't open with your hardest-hitting abilities.
Dawn Moore: ... that you have to stand behind your enemy if you're a melee DPSer to do good damage. You're not just standing there 'cause everyone else is.
Allison Robert: ... that any rookies out there who have come of age with Wrath instances are going to be in for a rude shock with their Cataclysm counterparts, assuming Blizzard gets its way. (What particularly amuses me: Blizzard's prior insistence that it wants AoE tanking to decrease due to tank damage rather than nerfing our ability to generate AoE threat. Bu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hullllllllll ...) Though, to be frank, if my experience healing and tanking for groups on the beta is representative, plenty of more experienced players will need remedial lessons on grouping too. Some of the advice here is outdated, but it remains one of the forums' most successful posts (in part because we linked it).
Christian Belt:
- ... what stats are important to your class/spec -- then wear gear with those stats on it.
- ... that being No. 1 on the damage meter does not (a.) mean you are the best player in the group, (b.) mean you should spam the damage meter incessantly, or (c.) give you the right to be a douche.
- ... not to ask me for gold; go earn your own.
- ... that neither Chuck Norris nor "anal" jokes are actually funny.
- ... that before you enter any dungeon for the first time or try any encounter for the first time, take five minutes and read up on the fight. Go in armed, if not with actual experience, then with a rudimentary understanding of how not to die in the first 10 seconds.
- ... Also: don't break my sheep.
Gregg Reece: ... not to use anything with a cast time while tanking.
Matt Rossi: I can't even think of anything with a cast time I'd use while tanking. What, Slam? I guess Slam. Same for DKs -- what would we use?Anyway:
- ... that yes, (fill in any one of four classes) can tank this.
- ... that yes, (fill in any one of eight classes) can DPS.
- ... that spamming "go go go go" does not in fact make anyone pull faster; it just irritates them.
Gregg Reece: @Rossi: Holy Light, Flash of Light and Exorcism are the ones I see n00b pally tanks try to pull off in dungeons.
Allison Robert: God, yes, Exorcism. A good 70 percent of the pally tanks I heal use it in 5-mans.
Matt Rossi: I was kind of pointing out that you should say "pally tanks" there. Although now I'm sure I'll get a warrior tank using Slam a lot, just for karma.
Chase Christian: I've seen plenty of druids stop to Regrowth themselves, FWIW.
Allison Robert: From bear form? In the middle of a pull? My heart weeps.
Basil "Euripides" Berntsen: These darn kids today need to learn the definition of "opportunity cost." It's not free just because you farmed it!
All right now, readers -- what do you think these darn kids today need to learn? Tell us what you think new players most desperately need to get a handle on, along with ways they can do exactly that, in the comments.
Filed under: WoW Rookie






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 14)
Jordan Sep 9th 2010 11:08AM
That rouge is makeup.
Homeschool Sep 9th 2010 11:22AM
You win +1 internet points.
Rockstaert Sep 9th 2010 11:23AM
/bow
Tunahead Sep 9th 2010 11:27AM
Rouges are overpowdered.
serf Sep 9th 2010 11:35AM
...and soylent green is people.
IT'S PEOPLE!
Aaron Sep 9th 2010 11:44AM
HAHAHA that comment should flash due to upratings. x-D
Elwoods Sep 9th 2010 11:57AM
10 Rouges were killed today, it was a mascara!
Grovinofdarkhour Sep 9th 2010 12:05PM
I suggest there be a "Top 5 reader responses" in-depth follow-up tomorrow.
Jordan gets my first nomination.
thepiratester Sep 9th 2010 12:11PM
Cake is not a lie >.>
Rubitard Sep 9th 2010 12:41PM
Done in one, you magnificent bastard!
Elovan Sep 9th 2010 12:59PM
Rouges pale in comparison to the mighty enchantment shaman!
Basil Berntsen Sep 9th 2010 3:25PM
Nerf rouges, blush is fine
-lipstick
ShadowPriest Sep 9th 2010 11:10AM
I would like to add:
If you a Paladin, please buff your raid instead of having people consistently ask for kings.
If your a Warlock, please put a soul stone on the healer, preferably a druid.
If your with a warlock, JUST CLICK THE DAM PORTAL ALREADY!
and in closing, if your checking peoples gear score, you better be in the top 3 dps if its a 10man, top 5 if its a 25man, 1st if its a 5 man.
Vladeon Sep 9th 2010 11:21AM
Better yet, if you're a paladin and you plan on doing any raiding at all, please, get the addon, PallyPower. It makes it so much easier to buff the raid if all the paladins have this. Otherwise, you spend like 15 min of people saying, "No, I'm not ready, rogues have wisdom instead of might," or "Kings, I need kings.... kings... KINGS!"
Honestly, just get it. Please. For the sake of every other paladin's sanity, just get the dang addon.
Grovinofdarkhour Sep 9th 2010 12:11PM
And we know you didn't originally roll a pally to become a buff expert. Nor did I originally roll a hunter to become a trapping expert or a pet micromanagement expert; it's just part of the job. If we no longer enjoy our chosen class as it evolves before us, we don't get to cherry-pick what parts we feel like doing, we roll something else.
RetPallyJil Sep 9th 2010 12:13PM
They need to learn that add-ons are for sissies and there ARE other buffs than Kings :)
Vogie Sep 9th 2010 1:14PM
If you're not in a heroic, don't bother whining for buffs. Seriously.
I cannot stand the DPS who incessently badger "might. might please. might. might". The mob is your level, it says it's elite... but it's not. It's basically 5v3 against morons. You don't need buffs. you need to dps.
Sure, make sure the tank has fort, the healer has Wisdom and/or Divine spirit, and the ret doesn't have RiFur on. But that's the extent.
I say this because, if you get in a random with one of my army of alts and start badgering, you get ignored. Stop wasting keystrokes.
The only commands should go from healer to tank in a non-heroic pug. If you're DPS, be smart or get kicked. There's 56 others begging for your slot.
mark Sep 9th 2010 1:45PM
not to ask my bear for thorns
not to open up before a LoS pull reaches me
that if the tank blows cooldowns and BR's the healer you shouldn't have a go about casting tanks
steven Sep 9th 2010 1:57PM
Words of wisdom from ShadowPriest and I would like to expand on it.
If your a mage, please put out a table or offer up your lovely food. (Paladin Healer)
If your with a mage, JUST CLICK THE DAM PORTAL ALREADY! (Or no food from my mage)
and in closing, if your checking peoples gear score, please use http://www.pugchecker.com/ before you ask them if they have a DPS spec because you think they can not tank H-HoR even though that specific toon has done it 30+ (not guessing!) other times. :)
In closing; quest givers, they will give you gold... Go ask them.
Ezek Sep 9th 2010 2:12PM
My answer to this is very simple.
THEM: "Kings, kings! wtb kings!! kings!!"
ME: "I am prot, you get sanctuary, suck it up."
Kings is not the ONLY buff, and it is not always the best buff. Sanctuary is very nice in PVP. Most people crying for Kings don't even know Sanctuary exists, even though it is a better buff for most melee DPS classes than Kings is. Sigh.
Remember the first rule of Warcraft:
"Everyone knows how to play your class better than you"