WoW Rookie: These darn kids today need to learn ...

Some of the most interesting, informative posts at WoW.com start out as rollicking debates in Pandora's Box of Geekery and Chaos (aka the WoW.com staff chat room). A screenshot of the transcript on any given day would show a couple of links to pending articles ready for editorial review, a .jpg of something completely off-topic (usually veering toward the truly bizarre), and clips from the current crop of post comments and Twitter stream, all vying for attention amidst a lengthy, heated argument over game lore or some new beta feature -- and (in regards to the latter debate) capped off with an exhortation from Editor-in-Chief Dan O'Halloran (almost certainly in LOLcat form): "Who's writing this up?"
So I wrote this up.
What piece of sheer new-player obliviousness causes WoW.com writers to snap? Find out what sets off the rage (plus links to some handy resources that'll help put out the fires) after the break. Be sure to drop by the comments to share (and solve) your own most dreaded rookie pitfalls!

Matt "Matticus" Low:
- ... that heals can crit.
- ... that you don't need hit to heal.
- ... that disc priests can heal.
Plate of cookies if you bold, underline, italicize and put it in giant, neon pink, flashing signs. ROAAAARRRR!
Chase Christian: ... to single-target mobs until the tank has sufficient threat to AoE.
Robin Torres: ... to listen to and follow directions! If someone is taking the time to explain an encounter or a BG strategy or whatever, pay attention, please.
Michael Gray: ... that if you're OTing, don't taunt off the MT.
Amanda Miller: ... to target the tank's target.
Michael Gray: ^ This.
Joe Perez:
- ... to learn to assist train.
- ... to learn to not stand in fire (wishful thinking).
- ... to learn to wait for healers to have mana before pulling.
- ... to learn to Ice Block / Invis / Vanish / Fade / Feign Death properly.
- ... to learn to not break CC.

- ... that if you're not the tank, don't pull things.
- ... that if you're the tank, don't pull things if your healer isn't around.
- ... that if you're being attacked, run to the tank, not away from him.
Dan O'Halloran: ... that if you are DPS and keep dying, don't yell at the tank for not taunting or the healer for not healing. Aggro management is everyone's responsibility, aka don't open with your hardest-hitting abilities.
Dawn Moore: ... that you have to stand behind your enemy if you're a melee DPSer to do good damage. You're not just standing there 'cause everyone else is.
Allison Robert: ... that any rookies out there who have come of age with Wrath instances are going to be in for a rude shock with their Cataclysm counterparts, assuming Blizzard gets its way. (What particularly amuses me: Blizzard's prior insistence that it wants AoE tanking to decrease due to tank damage rather than nerfing our ability to generate AoE threat. Bu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hullllllllll ...) Though, to be frank, if my experience healing and tanking for groups on the beta is representative, plenty of more experienced players will need remedial lessons on grouping too. Some of the advice here is outdated, but it remains one of the forums' most successful posts (in part because we linked it).
Christian Belt:
- ... what stats are important to your class/spec -- then wear gear with those stats on it.
- ... that being No. 1 on the damage meter does not (a.) mean you are the best player in the group, (b.) mean you should spam the damage meter incessantly, or (c.) give you the right to be a douche.
- ... not to ask me for gold; go earn your own.
- ... that neither Chuck Norris nor "anal" jokes are actually funny.
- ... that before you enter any dungeon for the first time or try any encounter for the first time, take five minutes and read up on the fight. Go in armed, if not with actual experience, then with a rudimentary understanding of how not to die in the first 10 seconds.
- ... Also: don't break my sheep.
Gregg Reece: ... not to use anything with a cast time while tanking.
Matt Rossi: I can't even think of anything with a cast time I'd use while tanking. What, Slam? I guess Slam. Same for DKs -- what would we use?Anyway:
- ... that yes, (fill in any one of four classes) can tank this.
- ... that yes, (fill in any one of eight classes) can DPS.
- ... that spamming "go go go go" does not in fact make anyone pull faster; it just irritates them.
Gregg Reece: @Rossi: Holy Light, Flash of Light and Exorcism are the ones I see n00b pally tanks try to pull off in dungeons.
Allison Robert: God, yes, Exorcism. A good 70 percent of the pally tanks I heal use it in 5-mans.
Matt Rossi: I was kind of pointing out that you should say "pally tanks" there. Although now I'm sure I'll get a warrior tank using Slam a lot, just for karma.
Chase Christian: I've seen plenty of druids stop to Regrowth themselves, FWIW.
Allison Robert: From bear form? In the middle of a pull? My heart weeps.
Basil "Euripides" Berntsen: These darn kids today need to learn the definition of "opportunity cost." It's not free just because you farmed it!
All right now, readers -- what do you think these darn kids today need to learn? Tell us what you think new players most desperately need to get a handle on, along with ways they can do exactly that, in the comments.
Filed under: WoW Rookie
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Reader Comments (Page 14 of 14)
Possum Sep 10th 2010 7:28AM
Just...don't be a douche. I don't even know why this is hard.
Ati Sep 10th 2010 7:29AM
"... to learn to wait for healers to have mana before pulling."
This, and all the ones about not pulling. I have taken to just sitting back and letting the tank do his thing if they pull while I have no mana...especially if they do it in PoS while I'm on my woefully haste-lacking shaman.
They either eventually learn, or they die and quit group because I 'suck', and then we get a newer, better tank!
Rhenna Sep 10th 2010 9:03AM
Please CC those under the effects of Mind Control instead of DPS-ing them to death. I once spent my entire phase of being mind controlled yelling at a fellow DPS to stop killing me. Thank god I run with an amazing healer.
Jenova Sep 10th 2010 9:31AM
As a tank, I like to post total damage done meters. It can be an eye-opener for dps e-peen'ers
Jenova Sep 10th 2010 9:32AM
Doh! supposed to be a reply to the "people requesting dps meters" thread . . .
Ominous Sep 10th 2010 3:32PM
BUFFS!
Don't turn up and think that, because you can do something without particular buff, nobody else needs a buff.
I've had the fortune to play since Vanilla, but still like my random heroics.
You might have that same degree of experience, but don't assume everyone has.
Mages - Intelligence
Priests - Fortitude
Druids - Mark of the Wild
Palas - Just take a moment to have a look, before blanketing everyone with the same thing.
If you can buff, it's part of your job description to do so.
It's easier to buff each member correctly, than to clean up a mess.
Please don't have to be asked. Certainly don't have to be asked more than once.
FoxOfWar Sep 10th 2010 7:50PM
Reading all these comments, damn I love being a tank/healer myself and more than often playing with friends/guildies that, you know, KNOW HOW TO GODDAMN PLAY. I'm just in the process of starting a "leveling via dungeons" group with my friends and boy am I glad that we do have both a healer and a tank in the group of four for it.
That said, I feel for all those healers and tanks that don't have their "counterpart" in Skype or similar while dungeoning. It helps so much it's unbelievable. Even more some now that Cat's coming and dungeon mobs can(and will) actually kill people.
logicalfundy Sep 12th 2010 7:48PM
"These darn kids today need to learn the definition of 'opportunity cost.' It's not free just because you farmed it!"
Considering it's just a game, I'm already wasting my time anyways. Know what it is, but really don't care. If I really cared about opportunity costs, I probably wouldn't be playing WoW in the first place.
Don't really care if some spreadsheet crunchers say I could've made more gold. Chances are, that wasn't the objective anyways. If my objective is to level one of my skills, then the gold gained by selling farmed items is just a side benefit and not a primary focus.
Thistlefizz Sep 13th 2010 1:41AM
...that accurate spelling and proper grammar aren't just suggestions.
Learn the difference between your, you're, there, their, they're, and so on.
"Leet speak" isn't cool anymore. It just makes you sound like a jackass.
And stop shortening every word you type and stop inserting random capital letters.
"hey, nE1 hlp wit a quest plz? k thx!" =/= "Would anyone mind taking a moment to help me with a difficult quest please? Thanks in advance!" One of those will get you help, the other will get you ignored forever.
kaosgrace Sep 14th 2010 9:52AM
"About the paladin buffs....priests that don't suck at talent specs get more mp5 (Yes, while casting) from Kings than Wisdom. I'm pretty sure that shaman have this talent too."
Not after we hit diminishing returns on mana regen from spirit. Which, in ICC gear, most of us have long since done.
Saturnbluesl2 Sep 14th 2010 12:15PM
Please, please, please learn that wipes happen. If someone makes a mistake and the group wipes on a mob, don't spam in raid chat "OMFG THIS TANK IS SUCH A FRAKKIN NOOB L2P STUPID IDIOT" and then drop group. I mean, really, when is the last time you did a raid and not a single person made a mistake. Get over yourselves and learn that in groups and raids, you're part of a team, the universe does not revolve around you.
Daniel Sep 19th 2010 11:23AM
That noobs shouldn't attack a high level target,then wait for the higher lvl people to kill it so they get the loot because they attacked first(happened to me once,on a monster 5 or so levels above me!(Didn't even get loot,the damned level 15 warrior did.P.S it was stitches,the weird monster thingy in darkwood forest,so I think.P.S I'm sorry if I mentioned the wrong place,it just that I haven't played WoW for a year now,I deleted it because I was addicted.)