WoW Rookie: These darn kids today need to learn ...

Some of the most interesting, informative posts at WoW.com start out as rollicking debates in Pandora's Box of Geekery and Chaos (aka the WoW.com staff chat room). A screenshot of the transcript on any given day would show a couple of links to pending articles ready for editorial review, a .jpg of something completely off-topic (usually veering toward the truly bizarre), and clips from the current crop of post comments and Twitter stream, all vying for attention amidst a lengthy, heated argument over game lore or some new beta feature -- and (in regards to the latter debate) capped off with an exhortation from Editor-in-Chief Dan O'Halloran (almost certainly in LOLcat form): "Who's writing this up?"
So I wrote this up.
What piece of sheer new-player obliviousness causes WoW.com writers to snap? Find out what sets off the rage (plus links to some handy resources that'll help put out the fires) after the break. Be sure to drop by the comments to share (and solve) your own most dreaded rookie pitfalls!

Matt "Matticus" Low:
- ... that heals can crit.
- ... that you don't need hit to heal.
- ... that disc priests can heal.
Plate of cookies if you bold, underline, italicize and put it in giant, neon pink, flashing signs. ROAAAARRRR!
Chase Christian: ... to single-target mobs until the tank has sufficient threat to AoE.
Robin Torres: ... to listen to and follow directions! If someone is taking the time to explain an encounter or a BG strategy or whatever, pay attention, please.
Michael Gray: ... that if you're OTing, don't taunt off the MT.
Amanda Miller: ... to target the tank's target.
Michael Gray: ^ This.
Joe Perez:
- ... to learn to assist train.
- ... to learn to not stand in fire (wishful thinking).
- ... to learn to wait for healers to have mana before pulling.
- ... to learn to Ice Block / Invis / Vanish / Fade / Feign Death properly.
- ... to learn to not break CC.

- ... that if you're not the tank, don't pull things.
- ... that if you're the tank, don't pull things if your healer isn't around.
- ... that if you're being attacked, run to the tank, not away from him.
Dan O'Halloran: ... that if you are DPS and keep dying, don't yell at the tank for not taunting or the healer for not healing. Aggro management is everyone's responsibility, aka don't open with your hardest-hitting abilities.
Dawn Moore: ... that you have to stand behind your enemy if you're a melee DPSer to do good damage. You're not just standing there 'cause everyone else is.
Allison Robert: ... that any rookies out there who have come of age with Wrath instances are going to be in for a rude shock with their Cataclysm counterparts, assuming Blizzard gets its way. (What particularly amuses me: Blizzard's prior insistence that it wants AoE tanking to decrease due to tank damage rather than nerfing our ability to generate AoE threat. Bu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hullllllllll ...) Though, to be frank, if my experience healing and tanking for groups on the beta is representative, plenty of more experienced players will need remedial lessons on grouping too. Some of the advice here is outdated, but it remains one of the forums' most successful posts (in part because we linked it).
Christian Belt:
- ... what stats are important to your class/spec -- then wear gear with those stats on it.
- ... that being No. 1 on the damage meter does not (a.) mean you are the best player in the group, (b.) mean you should spam the damage meter incessantly, or (c.) give you the right to be a douche.
- ... not to ask me for gold; go earn your own.
- ... that neither Chuck Norris nor "anal" jokes are actually funny.
- ... that before you enter any dungeon for the first time or try any encounter for the first time, take five minutes and read up on the fight. Go in armed, if not with actual experience, then with a rudimentary understanding of how not to die in the first 10 seconds.
- ... Also: don't break my sheep.
Gregg Reece: ... not to use anything with a cast time while tanking.
Matt Rossi: I can't even think of anything with a cast time I'd use while tanking. What, Slam? I guess Slam. Same for DKs -- what would we use?Anyway:
- ... that yes, (fill in any one of four classes) can tank this.
- ... that yes, (fill in any one of eight classes) can DPS.
- ... that spamming "go go go go" does not in fact make anyone pull faster; it just irritates them.
Gregg Reece: @Rossi: Holy Light, Flash of Light and Exorcism are the ones I see n00b pally tanks try to pull off in dungeons.
Allison Robert: God, yes, Exorcism. A good 70 percent of the pally tanks I heal use it in 5-mans.
Matt Rossi: I was kind of pointing out that you should say "pally tanks" there. Although now I'm sure I'll get a warrior tank using Slam a lot, just for karma.
Chase Christian: I've seen plenty of druids stop to Regrowth themselves, FWIW.
Allison Robert: From bear form? In the middle of a pull? My heart weeps.
Basil "Euripides" Berntsen: These darn kids today need to learn the definition of "opportunity cost." It's not free just because you farmed it!
All right now, readers -- what do you think these darn kids today need to learn? Tell us what you think new players most desperately need to get a handle on, along with ways they can do exactly that, in the comments.
Filed under: WoW Rookie
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Reader Comments (Page 2 of 14)
Kylenne Sep 9th 2010 2:49PM
I quit putting up tables in 5 mans because, consistently, I'd stand there at the instance portal like a jackass with my skinny elf arms in the air while everyone else was GOGOGO-ing and halfway done with the first trash pull. I only do it when asked now.
cidninja Sep 9th 2010 9:52PM
@Ezek: sanctuary only gives strength, not agility.
i cannot think of one melee dps that would benefit more from sanctuary than kings.
Ezek Sep 9th 2010 3:13PM
@cidninja
You can't think of one? I can.
Ret Pallies. And they don't have access to sanctuary.
Sanctuary has a heal benefit as well, so while you many not get 10% agility increase (as well as 10% spirit and intellect which is often pointless for Melee) you are still getting a buff! Both 10% agility and 3% heals are nice buffs to have, and not worth splitting hairs over.
As a pally I can use a Greater Blessing, hitting everyone at once and lasting 30 mins, OR I can individually buff EACH class with whatever their little heart desires and take 20 minutes alt tabbing.
So they are probably getting sanctuary.
I play many classes. I know that certain classes want certain buffs over other ones. I also don't care. I am giving out a buff, they can be gracious at recieving a helpful buff, or they can complain that it is not helpful enough. I only have this problem with melee dps. I have never had a healer scream at me that they want wisdom over kings. Occasionally I get a polite whisper, and then I happily oblige.
I am not going to individually buff 20 raid members in a BG. I am not going to give everyone a 30 min kings buff that benefits some, not all, of the players, and then turn around and give myself the wimpy 10 minutes sanctuary individual buff.
Sorry if that doesn't float your boat, but I won't buy into the "DPS mentality" where I must make sure you have an agility buff becuase that is your favorite stat.
It's funny that you complain about a 10% strength buff and forget that it is also a 10% stamina buff, stamina being something EVERYONE can use. But I always hear it from melee dps, agility agility agility.
Mellorn Sep 9th 2010 3:28PM
*you're or you are
Herman Sep 9th 2010 4:59PM
ezek- sanctuary gives a very small 3% less damage taken, no healing buff. it also gives you mana back when you avoid an attack, which is useless for non tanks. kings gives agility, which gives ap to hunters, rogues, druids and shamans, and some crit, some armor, some dodge. in all kings is (99% of the time) better than sanc. even the tiny 3% less damage is overwritten if you have a disc priest. so yah, every melee dps in the game benefits more from kings, and every caster.
Cherrypie Sep 9th 2010 9:02PM
About the paladin buffs....priests that don't suck at talent specs get more mp5 (Yes, while casting) from Kings than Wisdom. I'm pretty sure that shaman have this talent too.
Darthbragg Sep 9th 2010 11:13AM
... not to ask me for gold; go earn your own.
YES! I don't care if you say it's your birthday. Also, a Mechano-hog is not worth 4k and I will not sell it to you.
tkc Sep 9th 2010 11:58AM
LOL! I was in Goldshire and a lowbie asked me if I'd make him one. I told him for 16K gold I'd do it. He told me he didn't have that much but if I did then I could make him one and let him know.
/facepalm-->rode off.
SunGod228 Sep 9th 2010 12:49PM
I always say yes to people that ask for gold....Then I proceed to tell a horrid tale about being attacked by evil monsters and how they took all my gold. But as a reward for slaying aforementioned monsters they can keep any of the gold they find.
feniks9174 Sep 9th 2010 12:53PM
I open up a trade window, put 5K in it and AFK while they sit there for 20 minutes waiting for me to confirm the trade.
Hiwa Sep 9th 2010 1:52PM
I got a pretty good gold beggar in Org the other day. Was just standing there when I hear a whisper, "hey Hahni, how you doing?"
I look around and see a lvl 10 belf something looking at me and waving. I whispered back, "do I know you?"
His response, "no, just wanted to say howdy and see if you could lend me 50 silver."
Yeah I know. I said fuck it and gave him a gold. And I am a notorious cheapskate, too.
Faraji Sep 9th 2010 5:47PM
Yeah two days ago after telling trade I was lfw, a 36 asked me to make him a Mechano-Hog and he'll give me 10g.
ColbyWolf Sep 9th 2010 6:23PM
Hiwa - you made me smile! :D There's a HUGE difference between "can i hv sum gld plx?" and "Hello, how are you? could I please borrow 50 silver?"
I sadly admit there has been a time or two when I've asked for a bit of money (generally when I am brand spanking new on a server and would like a little 'buffer' so that I can list herbs/leather on the AH without worrying about having enough for training..)
My rules are as follows:
* I ask ONCE
* I ask POLITELY and verbosely.
* I ask PUBLICALLY (sending a tell to someone places them in the position of having to refuse you. Asking the cluster of people at the IF mailbox means that people can ignore you guiltlessly if they so chose.)
* I say WHY (I'm new to the server and would like a bit of a buffer so I can start paying for myself)
* I always promise to pay back (and I do)
* I always say thank you, at least 2 or 3 times. Full out "Thank you" not 'thx' but taking the time and effort to verbalize my gratitude. I make sure that they know they're doing me a favor and I appreciate it.
I hate doing it (which is why I've only done it 2-3 times, ever and not in at least 2 years) but those rules make me feel better about it. and conversely, that's what I look for when someone asks me for money.
Even if they ask 'poorly' I'll ask them why they need the money... Depending, I'll offer advice, I'll offer help... there's been a few times where I've gone and bought el-cheapo bags and a piece or two of armor for a lowbie.
it's all about the delivery. if all you say is 'goldplz' and 'thx' I'll feel dirty when I'm done. But to the little druid who asked for 50 silver so she could buy a bag from the vendor, she'll get 5 gold, and 4 12 slot bags, and I'll walk away feeling happy. :)
dcjanes Sep 10th 2010 8:40AM
When I start a new alt on a new server, I just hang out in a capital signing guild charters. I can usually clear 150 gold in a week and get a pretty good idea of whether or not I want to stay.
Ullaana Sep 9th 2010 11:14AM
That when you are in a group, do what's best for the team, not yourself.
Grovinofdarkhour Sep 9th 2010 12:12PM
2nd nomination.
nieboh Sep 9th 2010 11:14AM
gotta agree with the "don't break my sheep"...also, my "sheep" may actually look more like a pig or a bunny, but it's still a damn sheep and don't break it.
arkki83 Sep 9th 2010 12:53PM
This.....is sadly something i've run into...
Desmentia Sep 9th 2010 1:09PM
The "sheep" may also look like something standing in a block of ice, or something undead wrapped up in magical holy shackles.
shawn Sep 9th 2010 11:16AM
that patience is a virtue.