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Some of the most interesting, informative posts at WoW.com start out as rollicking debates in Pandora's Box of Geekery and Chaos (aka the WoW.com staff chat room). A screenshot of the transcript on any given day would show a couple of links to pending articles ready for editorial review, a .jpg of something completely off-topic (usually veering toward the truly bizarre), and clips from the current crop of post comments and Twitter stream, all vying for attention amidst a lengthy, heated argument over game lore or some new beta feature -- and (in regards to the latter debate) capped off with an exhortation from Editor-in-Chief Dan O'Halloran (almost certainly in LOLcat form): "Who's writing this up?"

So I wrote this up.

What piece of sheer new-player obliviousness causes WoW.com writers to snap? Find out what sets off the rage (plus links to some handy resources that'll help put out the fires) after the break. Be sure to drop by the comments to share (and solve) your own most dreaded rookie pitfalls!
These darn kids today need to learn ...

Matt "Matticus" Low:

• ... that heals can crit.
• ... that you don't need hit to heal.
• ... that disc priests can heal.

Plate of cookies if you bold, underline, italicize and put it in giant, neon pink, flashing signs. ROAAAARRRR!

Chase Christian: ... to single-target mobs until the tank has sufficient threat to AoE.

Robin Torres: ... to listen to and follow directions! If someone is taking the time to explain an encounter or a BG strategy or whatever, pay attention, please.

Michael Gray: ... that if you're OTing, don't taunt off the MT.

Amanda Miller: ... to target the tank's target.

Michael Gray: ^ This.

Joe Perez:

• ... to learn to assist train.
• ... to learn to not stand in fire (wishful thinking).
• ... to learn to wait for healers to have mana before pulling.
• ... to learn to Ice Block / Invis / Vanish / Fade / Feign Death properly.
• ... to learn to not break CC.

Fox Van Allen:

• ... that if you're not the tank, don't pull things.
• ... that if you're the tank, don't pull things if your healer isn't around.
• ... that if you're being attacked, run to the tank, not away from him.

Dan O'Halloran: ... that if you are DPS and keep dying, don't yell at the tank for not taunting or the healer for not healing. Aggro management is everyone's responsibility, aka don't open with your hardest-hitting abilities.

Dawn Moore: ... that you have to stand behind your enemy if you're a melee DPSer to do good damage. You're not just standing there 'cause everyone else is.

Allison Robert: ... that any rookies out there who have come of age with Wrath instances are going to be in for a rude shock with their Cataclysm counterparts, assuming Blizzard gets its way. (What particularly amuses me: Blizzard's prior insistence that it wants AoE tanking to decrease due to tank damage rather than nerfing our ability to generate AoE threat. Bu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hullllllllll ...) Though, to be frank, if my experience healing and tanking for groups on the beta is representative, plenty of more experienced players will need remedial lessons on grouping too. Some of the advice here is outdated, but it remains one of the forums' most successful posts (in part because we linked it).

Christian Belt:

• ... what stats are important to your class/spec -- then wear gear with those stats on it.
• ... that being No. 1 on the damage meter does not (a.) mean you are the best player in the group, (b.) mean you should spam the damage meter incessantly, or (c.) give you the right to be a douche.
• ... not to ask me for gold; go earn your own.
• ... that neither Chuck Norris nor "anal" jokes are actually funny.
• ... that before you enter any dungeon for the first time or try any encounter for the first time, take five minutes and read up on the fight. Go in armed, if not with actual experience, then with a rudimentary understanding of how not to die in the first 10 seconds.
• ... Also: don't break my sheep.

Gregg Reece: ... not to use anything with a cast time while tanking.

Matt Rossi: I can't even think of anything with a cast time I'd use while tanking. What, Slam? I guess Slam. Same for DKs -- what would we use?

Anyway:

• ... that yes, (fill in any one of four classes) can tank this.
• ... that yes, (fill in any one of eight classes) can DPS.
• ... that spamming "go go go go" does not in fact make anyone pull faster; it just irritates them.

Gregg Reece: @Rossi: Holy Light, Flash of Light and Exorcism are the ones I see n00b pally tanks try to pull off in dungeons.

Allison Robert: God, yes, Exorcism. A good 70 percent of the pally tanks I heal use it in 5-mans.

Matt Rossi: I was kind of pointing out that you should say "pally tanks" there. Although now I'm sure I'll get a warrior tank using Slam a lot, just for karma.

Chase Christian: I've seen plenty of druids stop to Regrowth themselves, FWIW.

Allison Robert: From bear form? In the middle of a pull? My heart weeps.

Basil "Euripides" Berntsen: These darn kids today need to learn the definition of "opportunity cost." It's not free just because you farmed it!

All right now, readers -- what do you think these darn kids today need to learn? Tell us what you think new players most desperately need to get a handle on, along with ways they can do exactly that, in the comments.

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Visit the WoW Rookie Guide for links to everything you need to get started as a new player, from how to control your character and camera angles when you're just starting out, to pulling together enough cash for mid-level expenses such as mounts and dual specialization, to what to do when you finally hit level 80.

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