Amani Lawsuit Tossed Out

Trolls claimed land ruined, mounts stolen

BOOTY BAY - The Eastern Kingdoms 6th District Court dismissed a case brought by the Amani Trolls claiming treasure hunters from the Alliance and Horde have reduced the once-proud kingdom to a joke.

Lawyers for Warlord Zul'jin argued unsuccessfully that the Alliance and Horde had spoiled their lands, allowed Elves to torture Zul'aman's citizens, killed their gods and taken their prized bear mounts, leaving the kingdom without means of transportation.

"How dey expects us to git outta de jungle n' outrun all dis Scourge?" lawyer Dar'ro said.

Confusion erupted when the justices of the court viewed the bear mounts could have came from Northrend, citing a case where an adventurer spent four days trying to obtain the mount in Grizzly Hills after his guildmate told him he could land one there by slaughtering certain bears that had salmon in their mouth. The same individual also spent a month farming for a polar bear in Northrend as well, also coming up empty-handed after being told they were a random reward from the Argent Tournament dailies in Icecrown.

Lawyers for Zul'jin said it was erroneous information and it was likely the guildie was fibbing.

Outside, Darkspear Troll rogue Kanusimi mocked his tribal rivals, and brought his Amani Warbear to the proceedings, giving lawyers for Zul'jin strange gestures.

"Actually, I haven't brought dis ride out fo' months! I spent a fortune on me mammoth dat came wif' two slaves, and a Brewfest kodo with a baaad base system in da back!" Kanusimi said, doing a handstand on his warbear.

Zul'jin, whose lawyers played a recording of him screaming "This was our land! These were our bears!" was said to be recuperating somewhere in Zul'aman. Calls to Zul'aman spokesmen were not returned.

In attendance at the hearing was Troll historian and witch doctor Bag'dazarian of the Zandalar Tribe. "Amani bruddas, dey always single-minded, focused on one ting only. Now dey havta multitask dey hate to everyone. Fools should have tied dere bear mounts up bettah anyhow," Bag'dazarian said.

Bag'dazarian admitted he was saddened that many great troll mounts have disappeared from the wayside, citing the upcoming closure of Zul'Gurub. "For de past two years, every def knight was overfarmin' dat place, tryin' to git a tiger or raptor," Bag'dazarian said. "Seeing da bears, da Tigers, da raptors lose big every night, depressin' me mon."

When asked if Zul'jin and the Amanis may make themselves relevant in the ever-shifting, the old witch doctor laughed and gave the sign of the evil eye. "Oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang, laytah!"