Breakfast Topic: Oops, I've been acting like an elitist jerk
by Nik Mitchell 
Oct 25th 2010 at 8:00AM
So there I was, fresh off a rant to a friend in Vent about what had just happened that night during what was appearing to be a common occurrence in our raids. I was frustrated (in my own defense, it was just one of those nights when nothing goes right, no matter how hard you try), and that's when it happened: The deep-down thoughts of ZOMG, how hard can this be, people?! spilled out into a diatribe on why I can't stand to run with the lot of them, since they "just don't get it and probably never will!" I named names. I pointed fingers. If there was a bridge to burn, I had brought along the dynamite for extra explosive-y goodness! I was good, they were bad, and I was there to prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt.
It was at that point I realized I had become the bane of every WoW player: the Elitist Jerk (OK, not the Elitist Jerks -- those guys and their forums are awesome). As soon as I had finished my speech, the notion of "it's lonely at the top" had a whole new meaning. Once I had out-classed my friends, they stopped being chatty with me in Vent. It was one lonely night after another. I missed them.
Elitism can strike at any time. The important thing is realizing how to harness, control and manipulate what you know into a vessel that can be used to help those around you become better at their own game.
My story ends well. Once I was able to use my powers for good, my old friends didn't hold a grudge. Besides, what's really important in the game for you? Is it the camaraderie of your friends or the satisfaction of being the best?
Filed under: Breakfast Topics, Guest Posts
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 6)
adyuaa Oct 25th 2010 8:06AM
Comments with f... a certain ordinal number which is to be avoided ... seem oddly appropriate to a post about elitist jerks. I know the comment to which I'm responding will probably be deleted.
Rob Oct 25th 2010 8:07AM
Hard to strike a balance between the two. For years i have bounced between two guilds; one was a casual guild that happened to raid, badly. The other was a succession of 'serious' guilds that either collapsed or I couldn't stand. Nowadays I'd like for my casual guild to get a bit more serious about raiding, but hopefully that won't destroy the friendly, easy going atmosphere.
Evlyxx Oct 25th 2010 8:44AM
This is where I am at right now.
I am happy to say that Wrath made me realise that having fun and raiding casually is way more enjoyable and less likely to end up in burnout than raiding in a more hard core manner among people that only care about the numbers they put out compared to others and how they can move lime 1ms faster than you out of the defile.
Hoping Cataclysm will stay a guild friendly expansion throughout as I'll be staying with the friends and fun rather than purples and progression.
Pyromelter Oct 25th 2010 12:20PM
This is such a good point. If you are a high-quality player, and you know you are good, (never die in fire, never wipe the raid, top the meters/keep your assignments alive), it can be an exercise in frustration to raid with a bunch of nice people who mess up a lot. Conversely, you can play with 24 other people who rarely make mistakes, and they are a bunch of dillholes, and that's not really that fun either.
I think that's a great goal to aspire to, in terms of trying to help your guild get a little bit more serious. There are a bunch of people like that in my guild (who are a bunch of really awesome people I enjoy raiding and playing wow with). We end up carrying some people, as we are not a realm #1 type guild, but those of us in my guild that are high-end players prefer the more mature atmosphere (with slightly less progression) as opposed to the top guilds on my server that generally are a bunch of immature jerks.
To the OP, being an elitist jerk isn't a bad thing sometimes. Naming names and pointing fingers can actually work to your advantage - a virtual kick in the rear will get some people to focus harder and perform better. Being a taskmaster and railing on people every week won't work, but if someone isn't playing up to their potential, it can be a temporary boost to their skill score. But if people consistently die or do things to wipe the raid, then that's just who they are. You are then put in the unfortunate position of accepting sub-par gameplay from your teammates, or finding another group of people to raid with. That's a tough spot for anyone to be in, but it is a position that many players likely find themselves in, with how dynamic the game and guilds can be.
Rob Oct 25th 2010 2:12PM
One thing I find that helps when raiding with a mostly social guild is to keep it fun yet rewarding. My guild had a hard time spending their raid time wiping on one boss, so, many times we would revisit older content and steamroll through that. Then, pick up where we left off on progression content.
The other thing, we don't really call people out, but we'll say something like "man did you see the way that rogue moved during flame wreath and jumped 100 feet, then wiped the raid? That was awesome! Now, remember, don't move during flame wreath!"
DeathPaladin Oct 25th 2010 4:35PM
Raiding is definitely a guild killer. And I mean raiding in general. Raiding too much and not raiding enough have both been the death knell for guilds around the world.
My guild was almost killed early in Wrath because of raiding. We had just enough people to run 10-mans, but it meant everyone had to show up in order for the guild to raid. It proved to be too much pressure, so we went back to being non-raiding for the good of the guild. Everyone who wanted to raid was encouraged to keep their eyes out for other guilds that needed pugs, though, and so far only one person has left for greener pastures (though that was also because he lives in a different time zone, so he was almost never on when everyone else was).
Fast forward a couple years, and I'm running regular ICC raids as a permanent pug for another guild. It was definitely a casual raid group, though we were doing pretty well (we cleared the first four bosses in the group's first week, when several members had not even been in ICC before). As we got deeper into the raid, however, there was some dissatisfaction over our progress. People (myself included) had real life issues crop up from time to time. After our fast progress in the beginning, it took us a couple weeks to get Festergut and Rotface, then a couple more to get Dreamwalker. We almost had Sindragosa down, too, but then half the raid group transferred servers, completely gutting the guild. In an interesting coincidence, it happened the week after I got my fourth tier 10 piece.
I have never seen any other aspect of the game kill guilds as efficiently as raiding does.
transientmind Oct 25th 2010 6:22PM
Evylxx: "Hoping Cataclysm will stay a guild friendly expansion throughout as I'll be staying with the friends and fun rather than purples and progression."
This. So very this. One of the nice things I see in the future comes from GC's comment on the con's QA about helping us to step-down by not inciting obsessive burn-out-inducing 10s AND 25s four nights a week.
If the hardcore folks want to be rewarded with epeen, achievements are the perfect way to do it. Give them status, not content. Content should be for everybody.
Suzee Oct 25th 2010 8:11AM
Friends are more important then being the best.
Gendou Oct 25th 2010 9:00AM
True, but friends also don't waste the time of their friends by standing in the defile or chaining frost tombs in the raid.
If you have agreed as a guild to raid, you also need to agree to perform at a particular level.
Otherwise it's simply an expensive lesson in repair costs and guild resentment.
obarthelemy Oct 25th 2010 9:57AM
wow partners are not friends, unless you know them irl from before
relmatos Oct 25th 2010 11:22AM
To the downrated poster above me, You are wrong. You can be friends with people without ever being near them. Yes the friendship will become stronger once you get to be with them personally but that doesnt mean that they will not be your friends before.
As for the topic, I've done lich king + 11/12 heroic kills on 10man with hardcore players and it felt good. After that I've strugled with my guild to get the lich king down also on 10man and it felt a lot better.
One of the best feelings in the game is being in a group of friends, and finally defeat a boss that's been killing us for ages. It happened back in kara and again on icc
Blowing and insulting everyone and pointing out flaws in a rude manner will never help and people will not want to play with you again.
SerenityNow Oct 25th 2010 4:45PM
@SamLowrey: that is an awesome idea! Such a dungeon, even if relatively simple in its implementation, could really help role balancing in the game (particularly the shortage of tanks) for a long time to come. Don't award any xp, loot, emblems or gold, but just allow a player to run it as many times as they want to get comfortable with a role. Throw in some of the less complex mechanics (rage timers, imobilizing factors like bone spikes, etc.), and that's a great foundation for dungeons and raids. Additionally, if they could allow you to go in with partial or full groups (and just fill in any empty slots with AIs/NPCs) then you can have friends/guildies provide you with helpful tips. Shame this will probably never come to pass. :-(
SerenityNow Oct 25th 2010 5:09PM
Bah! Wrong comment thread! My bad.
Natlove Oct 25th 2010 8:16AM
If people would teach instead of yell it would make for a much better experience. It's not any different than real life people can't just be great at something without any help.
Aruhgulah Oct 25th 2010 8:32AM
However, when you spend all your time teaching the same point over and over and over and over to the SAME PERSON, it gets very frustrating, to the point of yeah, I'm yelling. Most of us are patient with new folks, but you get those one or two people that just will not listen and do not learn...
Natlove Oct 25th 2010 8:59AM
And I don't disagree with that, but I for instance am new to the end game and let people know that before grouping. The second I don't drop the right totem I get the boot. I will eventualy learn all the fights on my own as I have in the past, but it would go alot smoother with a little help.
Leighlu Oct 25th 2010 9:28AM
www google com
class dismissed.
Natlove Oct 25th 2010 9:36AM
Yea I know. I guess I've just never been a fan of using strategy guides. It seems more fun to do the learning in game.
cincipon Oct 25th 2010 10:11AM
I would understand about guides completely, if this were a single player endeavor, but the truth is those 24 other people are being held back and frustrated by your lack of preparation in this case.
Chucks Oct 25th 2010 10:55AM
Yes! I recently rolled a paladin with the hopes of trying to tank. My first run wasn't exactly helpful and the group less than kind. I ended up shelving my tank dreams. I wonder sometime how many new players quit the game because people get so angry when they're just trying to learn. Patience is in short supply in Azeroth sometimes. I get it that people can be dumbasses but gosh, it's frustrating getting yelled at too.