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All of the latest Mists of Pandaria newsBreakfast Topic: Oops, I've been acting like an elitist jerk
by Nik Mitchell 
Oct 25th 2010 at 8:00AM
So there I was, fresh off a rant to a friend in Vent about what had just happened that night during what was appearing to be a common occurrence in our raids. I was frustrated (in my own defense, it was just one of those nights when nothing goes right, no matter how hard you try), and that's when it happened: The deep-down thoughts of ZOMG, how hard can this be, people?! spilled out into a diatribe on why I can't stand to run with the lot of them, since they "just don't get it and probably never will!" I named names. I pointed fingers. If there was a bridge to burn, I had brought along the dynamite for extra explosive-y goodness! I was good, they were bad, and I was there to prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt.
It was at that point I realized I had become the bane of every WoW player: the Elitist Jerk (OK, not the Elitist Jerks -- those guys and their forums are awesome). As soon as I had finished my speech, the notion of "it's lonely at the top" had a whole new meaning. Once I had out-classed my friends, they stopped being chatty with me in Vent. It was one lonely night after another. I missed them.
Elitism can strike at any time. The important thing is realizing how to harness, control and manipulate what you know into a vessel that can be used to help those around you become better at their own game.
My story ends well. Once I was able to use my powers for good, my old friends didn't hold a grudge. Besides, what's really important in the game for you? Is it the camaraderie of your friends or the satisfaction of being the best?
Filed under: Breakfast Topics, Guest Posts
Reader Comments (Page 2 of 6)
Natlove Oct 25th 2010 11:36AM
I've had the same problem trying to learn how to tank. It's not easy and even if you study everything on the internet you still need practice to be any good.
SamLowry Oct 25th 2010 12:16PM
Though training dummies are great for number crunching they're useless for showing what you should and shouldn't do in a group, so I always thought the devs should create a practice dungeon that's part tutorial and part training. It would start out relatively easy by teaching you how to perform your basic role, then get harder as the other (botted) characters start to screw up. You'll have to learn how to compensate, save yourself, and perhaps save the others, so by the time you're ready to join a group with real people you should have a good idea of what to do.
Perhaps there would be several stages, and anyone who passes with high scores would get a preferred rating that bumps them up higher on the LFD list.
Shadda Oct 25th 2010 5:33PM
You dropped cleansing totem on Putricide, didn't you... v_v
Revrant Oct 26th 2010 4:32AM
I totally sympathize, Nat, as a Hunter when I messed up it hurt a lot more than other classes due to the negative stereotype attached, and I ended up feeling outcast in raids over any mistake I made that was criticized.
I became an excellent Hunter that was desired by those I pugged with(oh the invites after ICC raids), but as a result I came away with the impression that Hunters were looked down upon and most high-end guilds were full of two faced pricks.
That's the duality of my experience, and it's why I won't be part of a raiding guild now.
Gendou Oct 25th 2010 8:12AM
It can be frustrating (especially as a raid leader) when you have a group that has the gear and know-how to down a particular boss, but repeatedly wipes because one or two people can't seem to figure out how to bite another player, or can't seem to figure out which direction to run when frost beaconed, or can't seem to figure out where to stand when defiled.
It can be frustrating, and those frustrations can boil over when you see the same stupid mistakes repeated over and over again by the same people, to the detriment of everyone else in the raid.
But unless you're part of a hardcore raiding guild where everyone has agreed that the goal is progression above all else, generally the social aspect of the game is going to be more important than raid progression.
Because when all is said and done, for a casual/social guild, raid tiers come and go. You're not going to be first on the server, or the faction. Hell, you're probably not even going to be fifth. Or tenth. The important thing is the people you raid with, not the bosses you down.
That having been said, when someone repeatedly costs the raid repairs and time because they aren't paying attention or aren't following instructions, it behooves the raid leader to take them aside and (quietly, calmly) explain that they are holding everyone back, and to see if you can figure out together how to resolve their issues with the encounter.
Eberron Oct 25th 2010 8:43AM
Agreed. A good raid leader knows when to address an issue. Be it personality, raid awareness, preparedness, etc.
One funny thing is if you're an altoholic who ends up raiding on multiple toons covering multiples roles I find I'm both more understanding as well as less willing to put up with people's shit.
It's weird. On one hand you know how difficult a new mechanic may or may not be, but you also know the kind of turn around to learning it. For example, melee, stop hitting them when the damn heroic Blood Beasts spawn before ranged get any aggro lead.
I know it's easy to screw up the first couple of times, but after three or four weeks get your heads out of your asses. Tanks, you too!
Hell, I can do it, why can't you? D:
Gendou Oct 25th 2010 8:56AM
@Eberron:
Very true about the alt thing. Although I am the guild's main tank (Blood Death Knight), I also have a raid-ready healing alt (Resto Shaman) and DPS main (Shadow Priest), as well as a few not-so-geared alts that can help folks out in a pinch.
I think that being an altoholic (as well as being willing to read class forums at Elitist Jerks for classes you might not have) helps a great deal when leading raids. It helps immensely when you know what a class is capable of in a given role. You can know when you're asking too much, or when someone isn't giving enough.
Another big part (at least for me) is patience with people who aren't performing. Even if you suspect (or know!) they are being lazy, you can't lose your temper with them. You have to be firm, yes, but you can't go off on a tirade that will cause people to lose morale and lose trust in your leadership abilities.
Balancing a firm hand with a calm temperament is one of the most critical aspects of raid leading, and one of the most difficult. At least in my experience.
Nyold Oct 25th 2010 1:10PM
A very good point, but I thought the post was talking about the fact that MOST (a lot) of people in the raid were messing up.
If 24 people do their job and 1 person keeps making mistakes and they wipe, yes, you can pull that person aside and have a talk.
But what if 10 people do their job and 15 people keep making mistakes? I think this is where the debate between friends vs progression will start to take place. They ARE dedicated, in that they have the correct gems and chants and read the strategy. They ARE willing to learn, they ARE trying to learn. But sometimes it's just not there yet... they know what to do, but in the heat of the moment, when the frost tomb happens, they instantly froze out of fear of making mistakes. And guess what, they made mistakes anyway, and this happened with half the raid. It's not attitude problem, it's just mental capacity problem. Some of these people may not think as fast as you are.
What are you gonna do then?
1. Blame 15 out of 10? Especially if this is a guild run, then accept it, your guild is composed of "baddies" (according to you. According to them, you're just really that good).
2. Stop the progression? Stop the attempts to save everyone repair because apparently they just don't "get" it? (even if they're trying their best)
3. Start venting in vent (whoops sorry) about how bad everyone is? This is a good way to lose friends fast.
4. Switch to a better guild so that you're less frustrated?
Gijs van Dun Oct 25th 2010 8:14AM
I sure had a rent or two in raiding.
I remember going all out on our raid members (no one in particular) about movement on Sindragosa.
PPL kept messing left and right up and after wiping for 2 hours+ sometimes the bomb drops.
Jarviswabi Oct 25th 2010 8:14AM
I find my patience for EJ behavior even shorter than usual lately. I just moved to a new guild, a relatively-casual raiding group, and for the most part it's great to have a new group of people to just enjoy the game with. But there was one guy in our ICC10 raid this week who drove me nuts talking shit about his DPS numbers compared to the rest of us, even telling me that I should go out and spend 1000g to regem rather than just going with cheaper blue gems and that everybody in the guild should be grinding BGs to get those welfare 264 weapons. All for the sake of a few extra DPS? I don't think so, especially at this point in the game. But I think some people just don't know any other way, so I try to just take a deep breath and let it go.
souvlaki Oct 25th 2010 8:41AM
Welfare weapons? AFAIK wrathful and weapons still require personal and team rating (which is no longer obtainable as there's no arena season). I am missing something (i'm on a EU server).
ambermist Oct 25th 2010 9:19AM
The tooltips still show a required rating, but anyone can buy them now. I recently bought the staff for my druid, but my rating is only 1000.
Solanti Oct 25th 2010 9:23AM
@souvlaki
The tooltips may still indicate that ratings are required, but anyone can now buy the i264 arena weapons with (new) honour points. The i277 stuff still requires the quoted ratings.
souvlaki Oct 25th 2010 9:30AM
OMG! i've been wasting my honor points in completing my 251 set!!!
clundgren Oct 25th 2010 2:43PM
Well...expecting everyone in a raid to use the best gems and equipment available doesn't seem too extreme. I mean, at this stage you really shouldn't be using blue quality gems on raiding gear, should you? I'm not sure why he would suggest pvp gear, though.
angelus1121 Oct 25th 2010 3:58PM
@clundgren: I think the blue gems may stem from having to re-gem (since everything got all wacked out after 4.01). Some people may not want to sink a 1000+ into re-gemming when the expansion is so close.
Krige Oct 25th 2010 8:34AM
Nothing like an article littered with self-aggrandisements.
"Once I had outclassed my friends"
"Being the best"
Love yourself much?
Luke Oct 25th 2010 8:47AM
You suppose he'll be thinking of you the next time he starts loving himself and "ranting" all over vent Krige? I'm kinda wondering just how much lube it takes... to get his head through the instance portal.
Blizzard Entertainment, "We may not have invented Epeen, but we made it bigger."
Sinthar Oct 25th 2010 9:35AM
Totally agree - the writer correctly identifies himself as a jerk. He was angry and blamed everyone even publicly humiliating them - that in itself is bad enough - and the bit at the end about 'using my powers for good' sounds like self justification. If someone did that in my guild, which is a social guild that raids, they would be seen to be the problem.
As an example - many many moons ago, I was the 'leading' mage whilst we were raiding naxx. On a certain dragon boss, the other mage in party started going on to the RL about my dps during certain fights - unfortunately for him - publically - both in raid and in guild. This guy was a new recruit from a TBC hardcore guild (which he left before he applied to us i hasten to add).
When a few people in the guild expressed shock at this, the RL explained to the guild. "yes but on those fights he (meaning myself) is actually decursing - something you are failing to do" at the same time the GM responded "dps meters arent everything". This didnt sit well with the new recruit - and later (at about 4am local time) he then left the guild.
TL:DR - the author is a self proclaimed jerk - who says hes now doing 'good with his powers' IMO hes still a jerk if he publicly berates people - as this causes DRAMA and is not constructive. If you are going to publicly berate someone, then it better be before a gkick (ie justification as to why the toon is leaving).
Josin Oct 25th 2010 8:59AM
That... was the point of the article? About being an elitist jerk? I thought it was a rather clever bit of writing to use those words, considering the context.