Phat Loot Phriday: Cookie's Tenderizer
by Michael Gray 
Dec 31st 2010 at 6:00PM
"Throgg," Lolegolas interrupted. "Seriously, it's just cookies. They're not going to kill you."
"All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Elune ... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to hell with you!"
Throgg roared and slammed Cookie's Tenderizer down among the gingerbread men. His massive biceps flexed as he moved the rolling pin back and forth, flattening the poorly shaped treats back into their composite dough.
"I suppose we can redo them," Lolegolas sighed.
- Type: One-Handed Mace
- Damage: 802-1,491 (409.6 damage per second)
- Speed: 2.80
- Strength: 129
- Stamina: 194
- Equip: Increases your hit rating by 86 (0.72% @ L85)
- Equip: Increases your mastery rating by 86 (0.48 @ L85)
How to get it: The Tenderizer drops from Captain Cookie, the penultimate boss in heroic Deadmines.
How to get rid of it: The rolling pin sells for 25 gold, 85 silver, and 76 copper. It also disenchants into a Heavenly Shard.
How to get rid of it: The rolling pin sells for 25 gold, 85 silver, and 76 copper. It also disenchants into a Heavenly Shard.
Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing gray@wow.com. Filed under: Phat Loot Phriday
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
SaintStryfe Dec 31st 2010 6:04PM
And my new years is complete.
RetPallyJil Dec 31st 2010 6:17PM
You and me both lol
Eberron Dec 31st 2010 6:56PM
It tankses, it spankses, it also makes cookies!
Best weapon evar!
Necromann Dec 31st 2010 6:04PM
That's too... umm... cool.
Sleutel Dec 31st 2010 6:17PM
This dropped on my first run through H-Deadmines. Everyone agreed that it was the most appropriate possible weapon for me, a female tank. :D
Pyromelter Dec 31st 2010 6:40PM
...
...
...
And make me some pie!
dashrendar72 Dec 31st 2010 6:17PM
I tank with this. I know I instantly instill terror in the eyes of every mob when I pull out this rolling pin.
Vladeon Dec 31st 2010 10:58PM
I have two of these on my frost dk. Nothing says "fear and death" like a dwarf dual wielding these.
Sonalita Dec 31st 2010 6:24PM
That's not a tenderizer, it's a rolling pin!! A tenderiser has lots of bumps in it so when you bash the steak, it makes it tender.
Pyromelter Dec 31st 2010 6:43PM
Very nice for tanking warriors and paladins, and appropriate for SMF warriors and Frost DK's.
And if no one can use it for a main or offspec, a great RP piece, so don't feel bad rolling on it if you're a resto druid and your tank doesn't want it.
Tirrimas Dec 31st 2010 7:21PM
Anything, used with enough force, is a tenderizer.
Greg Dec 31st 2010 7:48PM
You tell Cookie that your head isn't becoming more tender while he demonstrates his technique!
Greg Dec 31st 2010 7:48PM
Also, stop by Ironforge and tell the dwares about their crummy fishing pole.
artifex Dec 31st 2010 6:30PM
If we ever get player housing, I hope Throgg and Lolegolas are the first to... get a room :P~
Pyromelter Dec 31st 2010 6:41PM
I think I speak for everyone when i say...
/double facepalm
Shiro_Shishi Dec 31st 2010 6:50PM
The Conan the Barbarian reference is win.
I love WoW Insider.
Ashrend Dec 31st 2010 7:09PM
Hey, Al'Akir! Crom laughs at your Four Winds!
McRaider Dec 31st 2010 8:56PM
Seen a human female fury warrior dual wielding a pair of these. Agreed on everything she said...
Neuropox Jan 1st 2011 9:38PM
Thats what she said
BenMS Dec 31st 2010 9:10PM
This is actually really good for Enhance shamans as well - not best in slot, but don't pass it up because of the strength. The weapon speed makes it a real winner. First 2.8 since Black Temple.