The Dalaran Street Journal

Horde Offensive Halted By Ethics Panel

Orcs debate how far to take their bloodlust

ORGRIMMAR -- Warchief Garrosh called for a temporary cease-fire in the Alliance-Horde conflict after the Orcish military command went into an uproar over a recent revelation.

The atrocities in the Stonetalon Peaks -- and execution of Orcish Overlord Krom'Gar, who oversaw the ruthless and successful Horde military actions in the area, as well as a controversial punitive strike to partisans who killed a Horde general -- only came to light recently after the Web site Wonkyleaks detailed the incident from anonymous mercenary sources and leaked Horde reports.

"I let him go," was the only comment from the Warchief concerning his conversation with the late overlord, who was last seen being throttled by Garrosh while being held aloft over a cliff.

Orcish military high command has been in a frenzy since Krom'Gar's dismissal, but many of its members are publicly taking an obsequious tone as they wish not to join the overlord's fate. A few old high-ranking warriors, however, have privately disputed the Warchief's ruling, noting the mission was accomplished.

"We are currently reviewing conduct and procedures in the battlefield," a nervous speaker for the Orc overlords said after the Warchief's cease-fire decree. "After the panel comes to agreements and the Warchief approves their recommendations, our scribes may produce an updated Scroll of Conduct for our soldiers, fellow Horde members and contracted mercenaries to follow."

But lost are the common orc soldiers, who can't fathom following rules of conduct on a battlefield where souls are stolen, bodies ripped asunder and bases and graveyards raped.

"Has the Warchief Pro Tem lost his goddamn mind? Do those overlords in the fort remember what it's like to be the trenches?" said a veteran grunt who spoke on condition of anonymity. "This doublespeak is like Thrall's, only worse. I mean, it's one thing to be all preachy on the peace thing and still look the other way when you're bludgeoning guys from the other faction in the Eye of the Storm, Nagrand, Wintergrasp or other out-of-the-way places. This? Being all warlike and talking tough, fighting the Alliance when they're fighting a common foe or just standing there, then chickening out over some vague sense of honor and the fact you didn't like the way Krom'Gar got the job got done? It's like Garrosh be tellin' us, 'Yeah, I want you to kill them and be at war, but I want you to be all polite about it. No women, no children, no druidic college students.' The hell you say Warchief? You ain't been out here in the (expletive) where there are no rules. You be out here in the (expletive), it changes you bro. It's ruthless. Hell, Garrosh, I know you weren't on the battlefield in Northrend. Nah, big bad Garrosh be spending the whole damn time in that comfy fortress in front of the campfire, lookin' tough and tellin' the impressionable mercs to go kill some rats or deliver a message to walrus man or buffalo guy or whatever.

"And no women and no children? Please," the grunt added. "How the hell can you tell the difference between a kid and a gnome in the heat of battle? If something a foot tall is on the battlefield and ain't got friendly ID in the second I sees it, that's a dead little mofo, I don't care how old it is. I ain't gettin' my big green butt shanked by a kneecap-high gnome rogue no way no how. And has our seasoned veteran leader noticed most of them Nelfs and Drannies are chicks packing heat? Does our leader know they got vicious werewolves fighting for them now? Fanged, bloodthirsty, furious WEREWOLVES? Why should us Orcs limit ourselves? Besides, have you taken a good hard look at our fellow Horde members and their battlefield conduct? Warlocks with their evil magics and demon lackeys? The Trolls, who take frickin' heads and shrink them for trophies? The Blood Elves? They take a hit of magic essence if they sniff a hint of it off a corpse, and go crazy if the dead folk be wearing good threads. Our new battle brothers, the goblins? They practically check each body for gold teeth or silver fillings. And don't say the Tauren ain't violating no wartime convention rules, cause some bull that weighs a ton and wields a tree log for a weapon ain't gonna leave a corpse a mortician or necromancer could fix for an open casket funeral. But that's better than the Forsaken, who use enemy corpses for triage, buffet and potential recruits in undeath. So you're gonna call me, a trained killing machine of the Horde, 'honorless, paranoid or drunk on the bloodlust,' for how I got the job done? Whatever. My job is to kill whatever I'm pointed at. So what on how I did it. At the end of the fight, I'm gonna be alive and here to say in the face of my dead opponents, 'Lok'tar, mission accomplished! For the Horde mother (expletive)!' Oooh'aah!"

Asked in the Stormwind Throne Room on how the Alliance viewed the schism in Horde ethics, King Varian Wrynn, Worgen leader Genn Greymane and Draenei Emissary Taluun responded in unison a two-word comment which cannot be used in a family-friendly newspaper.

Their sentiment is echoed on the streets of Stormwind to the treehouses of Darnassus. "The only honor from a Horde warrior, is the points you get from killing one," Leafett Toomi, a Night Elf druid back from the Warsong Gulch skirmishes, said.