Hail to thee Archmage! It was long WOW hath teetered apon cataclysm, with locks flooding the forums with diaries, and wailing to GMs about their Dads. Thy strategy last week of the Pig Poop Trinket drew locks like never before, and their frenzy hath not gone unnoticed, as WOW was then portaled from their shadows by the Magi once more !

Resulting studies the found locks exhibiting an eerily queer euphoria to said poop, surprisingly even exceeding their known responses to razor blades! WOW immediately issued an emergency release of Pig Poop Trinkets with the hopes of finally satiating the locks, and ending Azeroth’s shortage on eyeliner and blush. In the next patch there are plans for a Pig Dung Village outside each city, to draw the locks from their dumpsters, end the unmentionable activities at the city dumps, and finally stop those embarrassing /slap fights over tissues that now ensue in the city streets. New instances are being planned in dark, sound proof, caverns deep within the earth that involve running (and whatever) with vast amounts of pigs, poetry readings to Hog Bosses, and promises to locks of heroically euphoric drops !

Hail to thee Archmage! Because of thee, and WOW Insider, WOW hath been saved, yea their curse finally removed, the Magi hath once again dispelled the shadows, and peace shall reign supreme amongst the streets and pastures of Azeroth once more !

Reply