Officers' Quarters: When a sense of obligation covers up burnout

Officer burnout takes many forms. Sometimes it manifests as a subtle, creeping bitterness. Sometimes it shows up suddenly, as unexpected rage. Sometimes, it's a feeling of emptiness, like the one described in this week's email. This week, I'll look at this particular form of burnout and talk about what this officer can do to cure it.
Dear Officer's Quarters,
I am an officer in a fairly successful 25-man raiding guild (currently #2 on our server). I've been part of the guild leadership for over a year at this point, and my tenure has been characterized by my dedication and hard work. My guildmaster has privately told me on several occasions that he feels that I'm the person in the guild that "tries the hardest." However, of late, I feel that my hard work is no longer rewarding me with anything, not even a feeling of accomplishment.
Unfulfilled, you didn't use the word burnout in your email, but that's what I'm hearing. You're not having fun anymore -- and that's the whole point of playing!The problem really seems that my efforts aren't acknowledged, and I'm appreciated for very little if nothing at all. Of course, this is probably the situation for most officers, as guildies tend not to say anything if nothing is wrong. However, I feel that my situation goes deeper than that.
I don't really have any close friends in the guild anymore; most of them have either moved on or have personally changed. I also am online much less than most people in the guild; due to my status as a college student, I have to manage my time very judiciously, but this really hurts my ability to form any sort of relationship with the newer members of the guild, and I've had people tell me that I appear distant and aloof.
In the end though, I play this game and put my effort in as an officer because I can always count on some sort of satisfaction coming from it, mainly from being a part of a team. At this point, however, I really am questioning whether I am part of that team anymore.
I once had a therapist tell me that I shouldn't put huge amounts of energy into something that I get little to no satisfaction from, and that it's unhealthy. She was talking about a relationship with a girlfriend that I was struggling with at the time, but I feel that this applies to my current situation as well. Do you have any advice for me?
Sincerely,
Unfulfilled
Your situation
Different forms of burnout stem from different causes. The rage I mentioned earlier, for example, is often the result of long-standing, deep-seated frustrations that one day all come bursting to the surface. Your burnout is more of a general malaise. Because you feel alienated from the guild, you derive little pleasure or sense of accomplishment from helping the guild to succeed. I would argue that feeling satisfied with officer duties can only occur when you feel some sort of bond with the people in the guild. Lacking that, even their overt thanks (which, as you say, are seldom offered in most guilds) would probably not entirely satisfy you.
I've been there, too, and I'm sure you'll see comments below from other officers who feel the same way. Guilds that survive do change over time, particularly their rosters. Sometimes you take a look around and realize that everyone you joined the guild to play with has moved on or stopped playing.
When I made the decision to shut down my own guild for good, a big part of that decision stemmed from what had happened to the roster. The guild had been founded with friends, and it grew and thrived under our leadership. Over the years, those friends stopped playing WoW one by one. Sure, I had made new friends also, but the roster had changed so much, especially at the officer level, that it just wasn't the same guild at all anymore.
In your case, it sounds like you haven't been able to replace your departed friends with new ones due to other obligations, so you're actually in worse shape that I was. I would suggest choosing one of two paths.
Two paths
Path A Take a break from the game for a week or two. See how you feel at the end of it when you log back in. If you feel refreshed and happy to be back, then make an attempt to get to know your guildmates better. Run some heroics with them when you can spare the time, or just hang out in Orgrimmar/Stormwind and chat with people while you're doing homework. Hopefully, over time, you'll feel more connected to the guild and will once again feel some pride and satisfaction from helping to lead it.
If, on the other hand, you don't feel good about logging in again after your break, step down from your officer position and reevaluate what you want out of WoW, if indeed you want anything at this point. It may be time for you to stop playing for a longer time period.
Path B Explain how you feel to your guild leader and step down from the position. Continue to play to see if lifting the burden of responsibility allows you to enjoy the game again.
Being an officer comes with a lot of baggage, and it's hard to go back to being a normal member in the same guild you once helped lead. You may need to explore the possibility of joining another guild, possibly one that a friend of yours belongs to, before you can actually have fun playing WoW again.
I was on the verge of quitting WoW altogether when I had an opportunity to join a great guild on my server that just needed a good raider. Being back in the trenches -- rather than surveying the field from the command post -- has renewed my interest in the game. I've made new friends there without the added pressures and duties of leadership.
Cures
Sometimes, the best cure for burnout is taking a break. Sometimes, the only cure is a complete change of pace. Ultimately, you have to decide which cure is better for your situation. The one thing I can tell you is that you can't continue to go on as you have been. Burnout, as I've said, takes different forms, and one form -- feeling unfulfilled -- can morph into another form -- depression or worse. Take care of yourself. After all, it's difficult to solve other people's problems unless you're happy with your own situation first.
/salute
Filed under: Officers' Quarters (Guild Leadership)
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Reader Comments (Page 2 of 2)
Hogleg Feb 14th 2011 11:55AM
i agree. Ive never cared for 25 mans, beyond the phat lewt. I didn't like 40 mans either...in fact the only 40man I enjoyed was nefarian, just because he at least made group dynamics interesting. By far, my favorite change has been the 10/25 man changes....Id much rather have 9 good guildies (who can at least coordinate) than 40 scrubs, or even 38 good raiders and 2 jackarses.
I still did 40s and 25s, but imho, 10s are where its at, especially with dual speccing. Now that you dont really need a hybrid class to be a hybrid class, you don't need to focus a group around ensuring that you have 5 Mind Controllers, 5 Dot healers, etc. Now you can say "I need someone who can swing heal...I need a dps healer. The need for the hybrid class is out the window, and the need to have a tremendous amount of people just for the mechanics of one fight is in the past.
GhostWhoWalks Feb 14th 2011 11:56AM
I was, until recently, part of a guild that I was assistant GL of, and I was in a similar situation. When I was promoted, I was a part of a group of friends, and I was determined to help the guild succeed for their sakes. I worked tirelessly to get raid groups organized, schedule events, help low-levels, help endgame guildies gear up, etc etc. We had a few months of success, but people slowly started disappearing. Some had legitimate reasons, like transferring off-server to spend time with real-life friends or family. Others, however, just simply logged off one day and never returned. One member, in fact, who was the main person pushing us to start doing endgame raids, signed out after our first unsuccessful raid and is currently still nowhere to be found, 5 months later.
The problem was twofold: not only were many of the vanishing members my friends, but they were also officers. Slowly but surely, less and less got done around the guild; requests for help went ignored, the guild bank became a mess, events had low turnout, and the guild started fracturing into smaller groups that kept to themselves. I redoubled my efforts to try and keep things together and running smoothly, but became increasingly frustrated; people complained when raids were cancelled because we couldn't get enough tanks or healers, but then weren't interested in making the effort to help out and bring other guildies into the raid. A few officers, particularly ones I'd run many heroics with in Wrath and had a great time, took one look at the increased difficulty of Cataclysm heroics and promptly refused a second attempt of them; they'd do nothing but sit around in Orgrimmar all day and maybe do a few dailies.
Finally, it got to be too much for me; not unlike Unfulfilled, I was suddenly struck by how much effort I was putting into satisfying a group I didn't like anymore, filled with strangers I didn't know and some who put me off. I reminded the GL and other officers that I needed help in running the guild and then gave it a few weeks, but when conditions failed to improve, I resigned and left to form a small, friends-only guild. Much happier now.
Darias.Perenolde Feb 14th 2011 12:02PM
I've been the guild leader for the last four years, and an officer for almost two years prior to that of the same guild. I've seen more than my share of both Plan A and Plan B people, and I don't believe I've seen anyone step back up after either.
The lionshare of players come back after Plan A, typically with a much more relaxed attitude; "I just want to be Joe Guildie again" as one put it. Plan Bers step down and just step down forever. They typically stay in the guild for a long period (maybe are still there), but in either case, I don't think I've had anyone retake their officer position.
Much of the issue is people go too fast, too hard. I've been an officer for a long time. I've raided to a moderate extent. I've enjoyed my share of PvP. I got my Violet Drake. However, I've also been my son's den leader, went through culinary school, and dedicated at least two nights a week to my wife and kids otherwise. Six years into the game now, and I'm only now getting my first alt passed level 70.
Miyagi: You remember lesson about balance?
Daniel: Yeah.
Miyagi: Lesson not just karate only. Lesson for whole life. Whole life have a balance. Everything be better. Understand?
dengarsw Feb 14th 2011 12:25PM
I've been in the same situation a thousand times myself as a constant officer (defacto or official). While the other solutions may work short time, I have something else to suggest: do something non-progressive.
I've done the hardcore thing to death, and one thing I've started to pick up is turning to fun events, especially as a college student myself. Do something that'll be evaluated not on meters, points, amount of loot, or even achievements, but just fun. It can be a bit tough in a non-sandbox MMO, but WoW does have fun things to do (especially if you're into pvp). For example, when I'm bored, I'll try to get some world pvpers together, especially other DKs, and chain death grip people far away from their group for a big gankfest at the end ;P Or sometimes we go to an enemy city and hold a fun area (such as the SW Mage tower or church), or even just do guild free for alls in the Gurabashi arena.
If PvE is more your thing, group up with a random nub or two (in or out of your guild) and see how fast you can run them through a dungeon. If you have a multi-passenger mount, offer rides for nubs in a zone. If you're feeling really inventive, set up an event, such as a scavenger hunt or party (if you have some "toys" lying around, such as Halloween pumpkins or wands, flares, JC laser pointers, etc., you can get pretty creative ;) ).
KPB Feb 14th 2011 12:49PM
I can definitely relate to this post. I used to play EQ quite a bit (raiding 4-5 nights a week) but got pretty burned out as an officer when the GM quit playing regularly. In the end the guild officially got a new GM and I ended up taking a break that ended up with me quitting entirely.
Personally, I find it really hard to enjoy what you are doing when it ends up consuming all of active time in game. When everything you do is related to a "job" you have it just isn't fun anymore. A break or at least lowering your workload so that you do have time to have fun and socialize with others is probably the best bet. Ignoring it will just end up with it building until you can't stand it any longer and have to do something drastic and immediate to deal with it. Deal with it before it gets to that point.
Necromann Feb 14th 2011 1:59PM
My guild is starting to raid now. My main is a priest and I have already felt healer burnout. I will still dps heroics, but for the life of me, I just can't seem to heal heroics and have it be fun. I still heal normals and i enjoy the more casual atmosphere. Haveing an item lvl of about 345 or 346, they are easy and still fun. My schedule sucks right now, and I don't think I will be able to raid much, it seems just tuesday and some weekends. I dont know if I will enjoy raiding, even if it is with friends. This might change when I start raiding or with next tier, I enjoy wow as a game but I'm worried about raiding.
Yokopuffs Feb 14th 2011 2:04PM
I can really relate to this post right now. I've been an officer in my guild for almost 2 years now and it's been a bumpy road, including a guild faction change and change in Guild Masters. Many of our members and officers have transferred servers or stopped playing over the past year and it feels like a slow disintegration of my beloved guild, in fact there are only 3 of us left out of the original 10man naxx group we formed long ago. It's finally come to the point where our GM and a few officers and raider have decided to transfer to a new server. I've decided not to join them.
It's a sad realization but I had been feeling the same sense of loneliness/unfulfillment as an officer in the guild for some time now due to my work schedule conflicting with raids and other guild events. After thinking about it, though, I'm actually very excited to join another guild, hopefully one that is new and just starting to build relationships. I think this will be a refreshing endeavor.
Good luck with whichever path you choose! :)
Forreststump Feb 14th 2011 2:05PM
Is immensely long run back to the last boss in Grim Batol after a wipe meant to be an extra incentive to kill adds in a timely fashion and to not stand in The Badâ„¢?
Forreststump Feb 14th 2011 2:06PM
Hazard of tabbed browsing: posting a comment on the wrong tab. /facepalm
Kevin Fitzgerald Feb 14th 2011 2:14PM
I find World of Warcraft to be an immersive competitive, rewarding and enjoyable experience. However, I don't think that automatically makes it fun. I believe that World of Warcraft for most people, has become more of a hobby than a game.
Heroics are well designed, challenging and fun when you're learning them. Once you've experienced the content and begin running them daily for Valor Points, they become repetitive grinds. Without the possibility of a direct upgrade or reward, the content itself is not enjoyable.
Raids are especially well designed and even more challenging. However, coordinating a schedule with regular attendance is difficult. Also, accumulating gear that is on par with what's expected by your peers without the repetitive grinding of heroics becomes impossible as your guild progresses.
So if you want to experience exciting fresh content without grinding the previous tier's outdated boring content, WoW is not fun.
For this reason, I buned out very quickly in Cataclysm. While I was geared sufficiently for raiding, I didn't have the time or motivation to grind heroics to match the level of my guild. While 12k DPS is fine, most people would prefer someone that can do 15k.
bldavis59 Feb 14th 2011 3:35PM
I have only been in a few guilds in my 2 1/2 yrs on azeroth, but i have been an officer at some point in all of them, except my current one.
my previous 2 i went from being gung-ho let go kill sh*t and ravage the raids, to sometimes not even signing up for raids or "forgetting" to put them together
that changed when i transfered servers to my friends guild
i am not an officer, but i am one of the tanks in the guild on 2 of my alts.
i am asked if i want to raid with them, for example i tanked ICC and got my first KS on my bear alt just last night, and i am involved in any heroic run i want to be in on.
basically i am enjoying the game again. it is no longer a job for me.
im even getting excited about leveling my remaining alts to 85 and starting new ones on my new server
ami if you read this, pls dont make me an officer! let me be a flunky and i will love you for it!
Saz Feb 14th 2011 9:00PM
"Take care of yourself. After all, it's difficult to solve other people's problems unless you're happy with your own situation first."
This statement simply cannot be stressed enough. Being in the position of officer/raid leader/guild master can often be a thankless, stressful job, and trying to juggle self happiness with what is felt to be the duty to the guild itself can be a tedious balance at best. Toss the stresses of real life on top of your in game troubles and you can have a bit of a mess for yourself.
The advice in this article is sound. Sometimes you just gotta do what makes you happy instead of sticking with the things you feel you "should" be doing to make others happy with little satisfaction left over for yourself. It may sound/feel a bit greedy, but really it's ensuring that you can take care of yourself so when you do have the opportunity to help others, you're strong enough to handle the task.
Tirin Feb 14th 2011 11:49PM
I don't understand why you guys don't put a anchor in your articles. Every link I've seen has a "#continued" link, but there's never an anchor for it.