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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
3-19-2011 @ 3:38PM
anuillae said...
Robin,
No. No, I am not saying that.
You should have fun on your own terms, enjoy the things that you enjoy, make the friends that you want to be friends with. However, needlessly offering yourself up to all the bullying and alienation is silly. Especially when you don't have to.
What I am saying here is not that you should forgo everything that you find fun in order to become like the cool kids. You should just not appear to be so different from them. Make yourself look like them and they will not pick on you. It is an ancient defensive technique that evolution has proven to work.
Lets have an example here:
There are two people, Anuillae and Chris.
Anuillae is a girl who plays WoW, DnD, Rift, all sorts of RPG's, tabletop wargames, all the nerdy stuff. She is good friends with others in her year, who, like her, have all sorts of nerdy pastimes.
She and her group of friends, however, do not make their hobbies public knowledge. Other people in the school don't tease them, they believe them to be normal people, just like everyone else in the school. They get on OK with the other kids, they don't get bullied or harassed.
Chris is a boy plays WoW, DnD, Rift, all sorts of RPG's, tabletop wargames, all the nerdy stuff. He makes it exceedingly obvious; everyone knows. He and his band of friends are generally picked on, laughed at, bullied, the lot.
The differences between these two people are minimal. Both are absolute nerds, both play every computer game imaginable. Only Chris, however, is bullied, because Anuillae makes sure everyone else thinks the is the same as them.
That;s my point. I'm not saying that you should do everything that the cool kids say, just that you should appear, at least to them, to. It makes it a whole lot more comfortable, and you still get to do what you enjoy.