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4-01-2011 @ 12:47PM
So pissed... no cookies. - Those are the two things that stood out on the newspaper to me. I sat here for a few minutes trying to read the rest of the paper but to no avail. :D
4-01-2011 @ 10:57PM
"Do you like cookies? I love cookies. It can be safely assumed that everyone not only loves cookies, but in fact that that cookies are quite commonly chosen for one's dietary goals. Now consider that common ingredients needed to make cookies (flour, sugar, eggs, etc.) are obtainable only through a secret method known only to 8.453% of the entire population of the world. Now, shall we expect these cookie enablers to produce their wares free of charge? Is this not a form of theft? Indeed, while these masters of the cookie may find great satisfaction in offering these goods as charity, we must realize that to take these goods without compensation is to treat their...""... was SO PISSED because there were NO COOKIES. A man without any cookies shall find his prospects for advancement in life rather dim."Now others may argue that, since cookies are probably necessary for the continuance of life as we know it, the ingredients for cookies should be freely available. In some parallel dimension (in which, perhaps Evil Thrall has achieved total world domination, and in which King Wrynn never escaped from his confinement, instead becoming an interior decorating consultant for the Defias Foundation for the Preservation of Baby Kobolds), this thesis is perfectly acceptable. Once again, however, our wishful thinking must give way to reality. The hard work and dedication of...""... are talking about the fundamental essence of what it means to eat a cookie, where the real argument lies not with the cookies themselves, but with the poor Cookie People who have been exploited by this vile and unfair treatment! While critics of this initiative call for a cookie boycott, this is hardly a constructive means of addressing the situation. We must convince the masses that they are not...""... chip is definitely my favorite. There are some, however, who swear by cinnamon raisin, suggesting that its more wholesome qualities are better suited to a paladin of that persuasion. If there is one group, however, that could do with a few fewer cookies, it is certainly those self-righteous holy warriors. They will tell you that they need all those cookies because they have such a wide range of dietary requirements. But I swear, they're more deady when they haven't eaten anything at all. Give them cookies and..."
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