WRUP: WoW Insider's night at Video Game Orchestra

It wasn't without incident, though. In fact, dare I say ... it was a day that would change the WoW Insider staff forever.
A little bit of background -- I took my car in for some repairs this week. Just some body work I'd been putting off for a while. And even though Boston isn't a car-friendly town, I'm still missing my baby. I need a car. So ... I came up with a plan. An ingenious plan. And Friday's performance of the Video Game Orchestra -- that would be the plan's cornerstone.Adam Holisky (@AdamHolisky): I'll be working on loremaster somewhat, but I'm also starting to level my hunter again. He's 81 and I'm jealous of all my hunter friends having so much fun, so I think I might join them.
You see, Dan O'Halloran, our boss -- he's something of a notorious free-spirit. He's a high-flying, risk-taking, lol-cat-loving type with a thing for the beautiful Felicia Day. More importantly to our story, though, is the fact that he's got a pretty sweet Kia Sorento. I mean, bucket seats, BLUETOOTH, USB jacks -- the thing's got it all.Allison Robert (@AllisonRobert): Possibly more snow shoveling (oh please God no) and some work on the low-level tank count project. I'm wondering how statistics on that are going to change with Swipe moving from level 36 to 18. GO GO BABY BEARS!
I've been dropping hints to Dan all week that Felicia would be at the performance of Video Game Orchestra. Being a predictable beast, Dan would show up and attempt to abduct the fair maiden. And I'd jack his car in the process.Anne Stickney (@Shadesogrey): Catching up on some writing, doing a little raiding on Sunday -- so terribly exciting. Perhaps I may even organize the bathroom cupboards.
Of course, I'm not heartless enough to put the real Felicia Day in danger. I sent in a ringer. The fairest, long-haired maiden I could find: Mike Sacco. In the right dress, heels, and makeup, the two may as well be twins.
Sacco and I hastily prepared a few numbers from Final Fantasy 6's stirring (yet fictional) opera Maria and Draco. It's a beautiful piece ... but would Sacco remember the words? This would be key -- any slip up and Dan would know something was up for sure.Daniel Whitcomb (@danielwhitcomb): I'm tempted to finally work on getting a 2nd level 85, since I feel like I'm sort of behind on that count. My Warlock is 83, so she may get dibs. Of course, I still do want Loremaster on my death knight, so that may take precedence. We'll see what happens.
As Sacco hit the stage, a new wrinkle arose. On the seat next to mine, a note:
"I owe you one, Fox, so I'm gonna jam up your symphony!"
I immediately recognized the handwriting. It belonged to WoW Insider's moonkin blogger Tyler Caraway. Tyler, you see, is a bitter, jealous man. I'm a better writer than he is. And more popular. Better looking, too.Dawn Moore (@dawnwow): I'll be watching the MLG and writing!
I knew something had to be done. But where was Tyler? What would he do? How could I stop him?
I had to act fast -- the curtain was rising.
"Oh my hero, my beloved,Elizabeth Wachowski (@leeatwaterlives): I'll be standing with the mages in Dragon Age II and running around laughing and taking 3D pictures with my 3DS.
"Shall we still be made to part,
"Though promises of perennial love
"Yet sing here in my heart?"
Operating under a hunch, I gazed up at the rafters. And, of course, there he was -- the monstrous, hideous Tyler Caraway. Next to him sat a cartoonish-albeit-deadly 4-ton weight. A simplistic and uncreative plan to be sure (what else would you expect from Tyler). Still, it could prove an effective one if I didn't act. Tyler was going to ruin VGO and crush Mike Sacco, all with a push of his disgusting, tentacle-like arm.Fox Van Allen (@foxvanallen): This had all the makings of the best weekend ever, and it achieved that status before Saturday even arrived. How? A Friday night concert at Boston Symphony Hall. Video Game Orchestra performed live, with special guest Alan Silvestri (composer, Back to the Future). My apologies if your head just burst from the pure awesome that is that concert. My further apologies if you are mortally wounded by knowing you were not there in attendance.
"Let's see if Sacco can shrug this off!"
A rush of adrenaline hit my system as I climbed up to the rafters. Thankfully, though, I had time on my side. You see, Tyler is really weak. Like, he's maybe 60 pounds when wet. Dangerously underweight. I'd be legitimately worried for his wellbeing if, well, you know, he wasn't trying to murder Mike Sacco with a 4-ton weight. And though I'm always right and needed no confirmation of the details behind the situation, the always self-narrating Tyler was kind enough to announce his predicament.
"N'ghaaa! This is heavier than I thought! It'll take me 5 minutes to drop it!"
Tyler paused a moment to look at his tiny, tiny arms.
"Well ... okay. Maybe 10."
But wait ... didn't I say that this could have been the best weekend ever? From food to drink to aural experience, everything was perfect. There was but one thing putting a damper on the mood; one thing ruining everything: Tyler Caraway. He's here in Boston for the concert, staying at my place. And he keeps trying to watch me sleep. It's creeping me the hell out.
Dodging a few stray (and surprisingly large) rats on the rafters, I made it to Tyler with time to spare. He lunged at me. I lunged back.Joe Perez (@Lodurzj): I'm in the TERA community event this weekend, so I'll be playing around with that, also trying out a little RIFT. I tried it before, but I feel like I may have been too harsh on it and want to give it another try. I'm particularly interested, like Matt Low, to see how the healing styles for each game differ with active game-play when compared to WoW. Also, when McCurley gets back on Sunday, I'm so dragging him through some heroics with me!
Since I weigh more than a cardboard cutout, Tyler was easily overpowered and knocked back. But the rafters are precarious, and neither of us were sure in our balance. The two of us came crashing down to the stage ... right in the middle of Sacco's performance!
"Disaster!" shouted the impressario! The audience fell silent. Sacco was frozen in fear. I had to do something -- it was up to me to save the day. I'd have to work this into the show.Josh Myers (@Elamqt): I have landed myself in a new home on Proudmoore, so my weekend will be spent getting acclimated to the server and to my new guild. Also, since my death knight gatherer and my paladin alchemist/scribe are both stuck on my old server for the time being, I'm working on leveling a new warrior for basic profession needs!
"I, Fox, the world's premiere shadow priest, will save the fair Sacco!"
"Silence," growled Tyler. "You're in the presence of fluffkin royalty!"
The orchestra took bow to string; the music started to build in intensity. This would be our finest battle.
I quickly began applying my DoTs -- Vampiric Touch, Devouring Plague, and Shadow Word: Pain. Tyler responded in kind -- Moonfire and Insect Swarm. I Mind Flayed. He Wrathed. I was clever and witty, not unlike a modern-day John McClane. He shouted nonsensical throw-away lines, as if we were engaged in a poorly written high school project.Kelly Aarons (@Cadistra): Catching up on some art, and probably going to the Vancouver Comic Jam Saturday night. As for WoW, I'm still trying to get some more achievements for fishing. You wouldn't believe how many cheevos I only need one thing for.
"Imp! Pal! Old Buddy! I'm not your garden-variety boomkin!"
It was a painful performance to be sure. But no where near as painful as my final Mind Blast. Tyler got hit with a brutal 100,000 health crit. Clearly, someone left his resiliance gear back in Ohio.Mathew McCurley (@gomatgo): Big weekend for my cousin's son's bar mitzvah. I'll be back Sunday!
"What an unlucky day," said Tyler, as if to give the incorrect impression that all his days weren't as sad and unlucky as this. "Adios!"Matt Low (@Matticus) Playing some Rift. ... /duck. I'm actually looking to compare the healing styles in that game versus WoW. Pretty intriguing game so far. A little tired of the random rifts that appear in the zones. I just want to quest without a big gaping portal opening overhead of me.
Tyler scuttled off stage, dragging his bruised ego behind him.
I rushed after Tyler as fast as I could, giving Dan his opening. Using the commotion and confusion as cover, our editor-in-chief grasped Sacco, with full intentions of spiriting him off to that aforementioned Kia Sorento.Matthew Rossi (@MatthewWRossi): DRAGON AGE II MY TENTH PLAYTHROUGH OH GOD HELP ME HELP ME
Also leveling a feral druid because feral druids are so bloody easy to play. You guys completely lied to me this whole time, I kept thinking this would be impossible for me to grasp, but it's absolutely cake. An easier, more fun rogue. I'm loving my wolfcat.
Robin Torres (@cosmiclaurel): I've been RPing again on Shadow Council (US-PvE-A) and I'll be spending the weekend deciding which character to pursue for the long haul. That is, when I'm not playing Dragon Age Ultimate Edition ... I know I'm late to the party, but it really is my kind of game.
"Wait," said Dan, shocked. "You're not Felicia Day!"Sarah Nichol (@mentalshaman): I feel like a stuck record, but I will be moving. Unfortunately, on top of that, my iMac had an unfortunate accident and now I need to shell out to replace the glass on the front. I have stolen my partner's computer, but my play time is limited to a little Dragon Age: Origins and RIFT in-between packing clothes, shoes, and random nick-nacks I could have sworn we already put into storage. Fingers crossed I'll be back to WoW soon, in order to help my guild with a super-sekrit project.
The jig was up. But that was fine by me -- I had one hell of a head start out towards the exit. And one hell of a surprise ending in store.
Unfortunately for Dan, you see, this is my WRUP. My story. I have complete creative control. So Dan was ... uh, I dunno, eaten by a shark. A land shark or whatever. Sacco too, I guess. I don't want to write him into the ending. Maybe Mat McCurley was there. With his cat. That sounds like something he'd do.Tyler Caraway (@murmursofadruid): I'm hanging out in Boston this weekend so I won't have much gaming time. Most of it will be spent trying not to strangle Fox Van Allen due to his many annoying habits. On the bright side, I get to see an old high school friend!
Anyway.That just leaves me, Fox Van Allen, behind the wheel of a kinda-OK Kia Sorento. I have wheels again. And as for Tyler ... well ... watch your back, kid. Cause I know this little girl, and I'm going to make her draw your picture.






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Kirby Apr 2nd 2011 2:03PM
Cast Fire
razion Apr 2nd 2011 2:10PM
I enjoyed this WRUP very much. :D
artifex Apr 6th 2011 4:38AM
I completely forgot there was even a WRUP; just got into the storyline.
Shade Apr 2nd 2011 2:22PM
Wait did Tyler and Fox go to HS together? All this time (read: since this morning, when I saw Fox take a jab at Tyler in a comment) I thought they were trying to one-up the Mage/Lock rivalry.
This could be a better explanation though. Unless the old HS friend is someone else, in which I would have to say it would be best not to escalate the caster wars. Because then the elly shaman community will feel left out and try to start something with the 5 shockadins that are scattered across WoW's servers.
Tyler Caraway Apr 2nd 2011 2:34PM
I did not go to high school with Fox, didn't even know him until we both started working together.
Despite it being multiple states away, I had a large group of high school friends that went to college here in Boston, some of them stayed here afterwards and so I;m taking the time to see them.
Zanaji Apr 2nd 2011 2:22PM
Moar Fox Plz!
Harvoc Apr 2nd 2011 2:23PM
What's with the animosity between you two guys anyways?
Tyler Caraway Apr 2nd 2011 4:49PM
I dislike shadow priests, it's really as simple as that.
Scott Apr 2nd 2011 2:28PM
But.... But...
Will Sacco succumb to Dan's charms?
Will Tyler renew his plots, aided by Holy Priest Dawn Moore?
Will Felicia Day sue?
And what about Naomi?
I trust that the answers to these questions will be answered in next week's exciting installment of "AS THE WRUP TURNS"
(or is it "ALL MY ALTS".... or "GENERAL WOW HOSPITAL"... or "BAYWATCH"?)
Fox Van Allen Apr 2nd 2011 2:35PM
I wrote a sequel to this, but it didn't go over so well. It's basically just a big ol' fat Earth Dragon sitting on the stage.
Azurite Apr 2nd 2011 3:42PM
Dawn Moore? Holy Priest?
Scott Apr 2nd 2011 5:22PM
Holy - occasionally. My bad.
Helper Apr 2nd 2011 2:51PM
ALL BOW DOWN TO FOX VAN ALLEN!!!
Fiorna Apr 2nd 2011 2:53PM
Ultros still gives me nightmares...
Finnicks Apr 3rd 2011 4:16AM
Silence! You're in the presence of octopus royalty!
Maymer Apr 2nd 2011 2:56PM
*Would have posted a witty and hilarious comment about how deadly the dreaded Boston Land Shark is, but I am too busy picking up bits and pieces of my head after hearing that Alan Silvestri was at the VGO*
MusedMoose Apr 2nd 2011 2:59PM
Mr. Van Allen, you are officially my hero. At least for today. ^_^ FF6 is quite possibly the best game ever, and yours was a fitting tribute. Well played, sir, well played.
alan Apr 2nd 2011 3:38PM
Who "doesn't" have a thing for Felicia Day?
Drakkenfyre Apr 2nd 2011 5:36PM
Me.
She looks nice. I have nothing against her or her looks.
But the way if you so much as mention her name, people fall down, and go "OMG, FELICIA DAY!" annoys me.
Jafis Apr 2nd 2011 3:47PM
Final Fantasy 6 shoutout! F*** YES!
...
Kefka > Sephiroth