Phat Loot Phriday: Miniature Voodoo Mask
by Michael Gray 
May 27th 2011 at 8:00PM
Vol'jin was a big troll, Lolegolas thought. The blood elf wasn't thinking about the kind of big troll who stood in Orgrimmar's street corner yelling, "Why is it called Invincible when you can see it?" No, Vol'jin was big as in "huge," "gargantuan," and "oh my god, not my face."
"What you be doin' here, mon? Not many Sin'dorei be visiting the fishbowl," the troll chief asked. "I'm enjoyin' my water pipe. Mmm, water."
The blood elf had to try a couple of times to speak because he kept coughing through the thick smoke. "Garrosh has sent for my friend Throgg. I don't know why, but I need your help. I want to know what's going on."
Vol'jin crouched so that he could look Lolegolas in the eye. "And why would I be helpin' you, blonde elf? You're Horde, and I give you that, but you not great friend to trolls."
"I brought munchies," Lolegolas said. From the look on the troll's face, Lolegolas knew he had Vol'jin right where he wanted him. With a flourish of his wrist, Lolegolas produced a Miniature Voodoo Mask. The blood elf clasped the mask to his heart, closed his eyes tightly, and clicked his heels together three times.
Suddenly, three gnomes stood in the hut in front of Vol'jin. Lolegolas couldn't make our their expressions behind the thick, wooden masks they wore; from the way the gnomes shuffled about, though, he could clearly tell they were anxious.
"Dis pleases me," Vol'jin said. "I will help you, little elf."
Miniature Voodoo Mask
- Type: Trinket
- Item Level: 353
- Use: Calls forth 3 Voodoo Gnomes to destroy your enemies (10-minute cooldown)
How to get it: The Mask has a very small drop chance from Hex Lord Malacrass.
How to get rid of it: You can sell it for 8 gold, 5 silver, and 7 copper.
How to get rid of it: You can sell it for 8 gold, 5 silver, and 7 copper.
Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Filed under: Phat Loot Phriday
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Task May 27th 2011 8:04PM
Dear Michael Gray,
So you added Vol'Jin.
Well played sir.
+25 munchies to you
Sincerely,
Task
Grumpy Wow Guy May 27th 2011 11:31PM
U kno dat Vol'jin be smokin' dat phat dank weed, Mon!!!
Readmanz May 27th 2011 8:08PM
PLEASE make this a fan-fic.
MusedMoose May 27th 2011 8:25PM
Haven't you been reading, Readmanz, if that is your real name? :P It's already a fanfic, has been for a while. It comes in weekly installments of awesome.
Groth May 27th 2011 8:08PM
Problem is that Gnomes go straight to your hips and bum.
Shade May 27th 2011 8:22PM
that's because they're too short to go any higher
Eregos ftw! May 27th 2011 8:40PM
@shade:
So where do draenei go? O.o
MusedMoose May 27th 2011 10:37PM
@ Eregos ftw!: to the disco:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPxDfGLbP4E
^_^
Thatacus May 28th 2011 5:36PM
A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.
Emophia May 27th 2011 8:09PM
lololol munchies
Wolftech May 27th 2011 8:57PM
The real ending of that would be that the three gnomes turned and one-shoted the addle-brained Vol'jin and proceed to turn the blood elf into a sheep, put him in a tutu and handed him off to some Scottish and New Zealand ogres.
Fletcher May 27th 2011 9:53PM
I'm from New Zealand and I'm here to say you've got the wrong side of the Tasman for that. Everyone knows there are no ogres in New Zealand - our only native mammals are three species of particularly inept bat. We've got birds from here to Sunday though - watch out for the Arakkoa!
IKISS CUT YOU!
Kurash May 27th 2011 9:58PM
I doubt an addle-brained Vol'jin could be one-shot by anything. That stuff to him is probably like spinach to Pop Eye!
Myf May 28th 2011 2:30AM
@Fletcher
"Everyone knows there are no ogres in New Zealand"
That's not true, I've seen Helen Clark.
lady.silverdragon May 27th 2011 9:09PM
I love these! I only wish that this was daily instead of weekly. :-)
Andrew May 27th 2011 9:25PM
Oh, so THAT'S how the characters activate trinkets.
gewalt May 27th 2011 9:45PM
no, just blood elfs
Myf May 27th 2011 9:29PM
A joke about eating gnomes, how original.....
Fletcher May 27th 2011 9:56PM
I have to admit part of me hopes that the next installment will be Not-Spot the worgen going "Muahaha, you thought I was a feral druid? A druid? I'm a ROGUE, suckers!" and planting [Uhn'agh Fash, the Darkest Betrayal] between Garrosh's shoulderblades.
Even you hordies know you want that.
Rho May 27th 2011 11:16PM
Man, I wish that item had flavor text along those lines.
"Click your heels together three times while saying, 'There's no race like Gnome.'"