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All of the latest Mists of Pandaria newsTwo Bosses Enter: Whitemane and Mograine vs. ... wait, what?
by Alex Ziebart 
Jun 20th 2011 at 9:00AM
The Crusaders, Sally Whitemane and Renault Mograine, stepped into the Two Bosses arena, well-rested after their bout with Forgemaster Throngus. The Cardboard Assassin had already been assembled in the opposite corner, swaying uneasily with the deafening roar of the gathered crowd.
Tirion Fordring rose from his seat and spread his arms to silence the audience. The moment the cheering stalled, Tirion motioned to Whitemane and Mograine. He bellowed, voice gruff and rumbling. "Today, in the left corner, heralding from the Tirisfal Glades of the fallen Kingdom of Lordaeron, we have the Scarlet Crusaders, Champions of the Light, bane of the unholy Scourge."
Tirion motioned in the other direction. "In the right corner, heralding from the forges of Westfall, stands the Cardboard Assassin, slayer of men and gods alike."
"Champions," Fordring shouted, "are you rea--"
The arena floor burst into flames, flooding the coliseum with smoke and cutting Lord Fordring's words short, driving the audience into sudden silence. The fires were extinguished as quickly as they came, and a woman stood in their place, obscured amidst the smoke. "Well," she observed, "this hardly seems fair."
Vanessa VanCleef stepped forward. She pointed between the competitors, first to the Crusaders and then to the Assassin. "Two of you, versus one of him? I thought I was the cheater, buying an engineering tinker's way into the tournament, but you're the cheaters." Her voice dripped with venom. "Champions of the Light, I'm sure."
"What is the meaning of this?" Tirion demanded. "You've lost, Vanessa. Vacate the arena!"
The Defias kingpin looked up at Fordring as he lorded over the arena floor. "Your incompetence has allowed a tag team to ravage its way across a single-entrant tournament. It's absurd. You're honestly going to let a tank-and-healer team fight a cardboard cutout with a spring attached? Nobody wants to see that." Vanessa stepped over to the Cardboard Assassin, running leather-bound fingers along its corrugated edges. "The rules have been broken from the start. Fair play must be maintained, Lord Fordring, or your entire tournament is nothing more than a cruel joke on your beloved audience."
Tirion frowned, the lines of age showing on his face. Vanessa was right. The audience was displeased with him, and growing increasingly unruly.
VanCleef smiled up at him with deceptive innocence. "I will fight beside my dear assassin today, Tirion. Should we win, the ... legitimate competitor will advance."
"You cannot possibly be thinking of allowing this, Tirion!" Renault shouted. Whitemane followed, "She lost! Remove her from the grounds!"
"I will allow it." There was no enthusiasm in Tirion's voice and he did not like the rogue's emphasis on legitimate, but he had little choice in the matter. "Vanessa, take your corner."
She did.
"Champions!" Tirion took his seat. "Begin!"
| Vanessa VanCleef and the Cardboard Assassin | |
|---|---|
| Sally Whitemane and Renault Mograine |
The rules of the ring
- The WoW Insider Ring is considered neutral territory, where both combatants are able to access their usual encounter mechanics and abilities. If you can't visualize it inside the squared circle, visualize it someplace else -- but you must take into consideration all of each bosses' abilities and mechanics.
- Assume that each opponent is intelligent and capable of strategic thinking.
- All of the competitors' abilities, including crowd control and other effects to which bosses are usually immune, work on their opponents (with apologies to considerations of lore on this point).
- Assume that the opponents share similar levels, health pools, and comparative overall damage output.
- Don't get caught up in gameplay mechanics and what actual players might do in each encounter.
- Don't neglect style, story, and scale. Everything is a factor; seeking balance is your goal as a spectator and judge.
Whitemane: Arise, my champion!
Mograine: At your side, my lady.
Vanessa is right. The Scarlet Crusade is a bunch of cheaters. Whitemane and Mograine have completely dominated their competition thus far. Reader predictions pit Whitemane and Mograine against Ozruk in the finals and that seems quite likely, but will Vanessa's interference ruin their chances of taking the tournament?
Mograine's toolkit includes: And Whitemane's repertoire: As stated in this duo's previous appearances, if you haven't seen these two in action before, you really need to take a trip to the Scarlet Monastery on a level-appropriate character.
"If I'm going to die, I'm taking you all with me." - Vanessa VanCleef
"..." - Cardboard Assassin
Vanessa VanCleef was knocked out in the first round of the Two Bosses Enter tournament by the Cardboard Assassin. How the heck did a piece of cardboard sign up for this tournament, anyway? Well, according to Vanessa, she was the one that entered him into the tournament as part of some dark plot, so it most certainly wasn't the author of the column that did it. Of course not. That would be stupid and dumb. Who would do something like that? Not me.
Vanessa is one tough cookie and the Cardboard Assassin has been able to ride the comedy vote thus far. Will the two of them be able to topple the Scarlet Duo, or will their personality conflict bring about an early demise for the corrugated god?
Vanessa VanCleef's toolkit includes:
- Backslash
- Deadly Blades
- Vengeance of VanCleef
- An assortment of poisons of the mind
- A taunt
- Immunity to mind-altering effects and substances
- He has a funny face
Ozruk is one of the few Cataclysm bosses that has truly found a place in the hearts of men. He has personality, he has power, and he has respect -- few bosses in this expansion can claim all three yet. Sure, maybe people like Lord Godfrey and Vanessa VanCleef will go down in WoW history as pretty awesome people, but Ozruk already has it in his stoney grip. The big man managed to take down Eregos, the previous Two Bosses Enter champion that has been ravaging his way across the tournament ever since.
Reader Naryn was not an Ozruk supporter, but I liked their rendition of the fight best.
Eregos as a female is a terrifying thought. She would have the deepest voice ever.Ley-Guardian Eregos circled Coldarra in search of more prey coming her way, just as the Lord and Lady of the Deep had fallen before her when she spotted her next target; Ozruk.
Ozruk blinded by the brightness of Coldarra didn't see Eregos swoop in behind, her talons braced for an impact, the Ley-Guardian struck a abhorrent blow to Ozruk before he had time to prepare himself, Eregos screamed "You brash interlopers are out of your element! I will ground you!" However Ozruk took this time to prepare himself for Eregos' next attack, brutal as it was Ozruk's Elementium Bulwark took the brunt of Eregos' hit and turned it against her in a devastating counter-attack.
As Ozruk took the initiative he began to cast Ground Slam "None may pass the World's Heart" Eregos laughed at him, the power of the Earth was no match for her, "Such insolence should be punished" Enraged at Ozruk's clear contempt for her considerable power, Ozruk, unable to defend himself whilst Slamming into the ground took a mighty blow, but managed to keep himself up through the strength of his Earthern shields.
"Break yourself upon my body" he taunted Eregos with, instead of falling for the same trick twice, Eregos sent in her whelp to die for her, and went into a Phasar Shift, protecting her from his obvious shatter.
Ozruk became enraged, his attacks were useless he turned to face the whelps surrounding him and blinding him to the multitude of Planar Anomaly's surrounding him.
"A protector has fallen, The World's Heart lies exposed"
Eregos savours her victory briefly and begins her search for prey that might be.... more edible for her and her children.
| Ozruk | |
|---|---|
| Eregos |
The battle begins!
Remember, Two Bosses Enter matchups are all about substance and style, not gameplay, mechanics, and numbers. Don't base your strategies on player tactics, which opponent has been easiest or most difficult for you personally, or the difficulty of each opponent relative to instance progression. Vote for the spirit of the battle as set forth above. Set aside differences in opponents' health pools, game level, and actual damage output. Absolutely no game mechanics nitpicking!
Set aside the world order -- let the WoW Insider Ring determine who's the champion! Your votes determine the outcome in WoW Insider's series of fantasy deathmatches, Two Bosses Enter, One Boss Leaves.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Two Bosses Enter
Reader Comments (Page 3 of 5)
(cutaia) Jun 20th 2011 2:47PM
"I'm *really* hoping that the Cardboard Assassin was just a setup to get Vanessa back into the tournament in the event that she was knocked out prior to the final round."
Uh...there's a massive flaw in that logic. The cardboard assassin and Vanessa VanCleef fought each other in the first round. So, how could he be there to bring Vanessa back in case she gets knocked out by someone...if the only way for him to continue is to knock her out in the first place?
StClair Jun 20th 2011 12:01PM
Dragging the joke out makes it even less funny.
Stop it. Just stop it.
musicchan Jun 20th 2011 12:01PM
Curses! And here I thought the Scarlet Duo was going to have a chance. *shakes fist at Ziebart* Curse you, Ziebart! Cuuuursssseee yoooou!
I still voted for them though. I just don't think they have a chance in hell of winning against Miss Vancleef's popularity.
Arrohon Jun 20th 2011 12:02PM
With an intro like that how could the Cardboard assassin lose?
Ilmyrn Jun 20th 2011 12:09PM
Maybe I'll try my hand at this.
Mograine and Whitemane exchanged a look, years of experience fighting together allowing them to communicate wordlessly. With that, eager to take out the weaker link immediately, Mograine let out a mighty roar and charged the mechanical menace, Whitemane wordlessly channeling the Holy Light to lash her opponent with Smites.
Mace and magic tore into the fragile construction, and the flimsy cardboard construct quickly crumpled under the onslaught. Eager now to finish the work begun by those nameless adventurers all those years ago, Mograine spun about, eyes darting around as he searched for the young assassin. No one was there. Mograine and Whitemane stood alone. For a moment, silence reigned over the arena floor.
Suddenly, the silence was broken by a loud peal of laughter. “My cardboard counterpart has served his purpose twice over. First to distract the audience, allowing me to make my way this far into the tournament. And again when he distracted you. I was never very good at hand-to-hand combat, you know. Not like my father. But I always excelled at poisons. Especially venoms that affect the mind.”
Glass smashed and the Scarlet Crusaders found themselves wreathed in poisonous green fog. The world swam, shifted, spun, and then the two fell into nothingness.
Mograine found himself standing in the midst of darkness. An impossibly bright light shone down upon him, illuminating a circle perhaps ten feet across, but leaving whatever lay outside of it shrouded in darkness. “Hello? Is anyone there?”
The voice that answered from the darkness was chillingly familiar. “Renault…”
Mograine spun around, trying to pinpoint the source of the voice. “Who is it?” he cried.
“Renault… Did you think your betrayal would be forgotten?”
It was impossible, inconceivable. He was dead! And yet…“Father? But… How?”
The figure strode into the circle of light. Bloodstained armor covered by the torn remnants of a Scarlet Crusade tabard. Dead eyes sat in pale skin, and the smell of decay filled Renault’s nostrils.
“Blood of my blood, I felt your cruelty long after my heart had stopped beating. And in death, I knew what you had done. I come to serve justice. I AM ASHBRINGER.”
“Father, please… Please forgive me! I didn’t know!”
The specter raised an enormous sword over its head, then looked deep into Renault’s eyes. “You are forgiven.”
The blade dropped, and Renault Mograine, Commander of the Scarlet Crusade, Champion of the Light, and slayer of Scourge welcomed oblivion as it claimed him.
Whitemane shook her head to clear her mind from the dregs of Vanessa’s toxin. “Bah”, she thought, “Was that the worst vision she could throw at me? Paletress, my old Priestschool roommate?”
Vanessa VanCleef stood before her, surprised, Whitemane thought, to see her standing. Eager to bring the Light to VanCleef’s twisted, and no doubt Scourge-tainted soul, she called for Mograine to join her. “Come, my champion! Let us end this farce!”
There was no answer. Looking behind her, she saw the collapsed form of Morgarine lying still. Deathly still, without even the gentle rise and fall of his chest to show breath. Reacting quickly, she began to channel a resurrection spell.
“What treachery is this? Mograine is fallen? Arise my champion!”
The spell complete, Whitemane waited expectantly for her beloved Mograine to stand up, but nothing happened. Again, she reached out for the Light, willing it into Mograine’s still form, but again with no result.
The only warning before the blade slid into her side was a breath of wind on her neck. The last thing she heard before the darkness closed in was Vanessa VanCleef’s voice whispering into her ear. “Don’t you know? He has to WANT it.”
Naryn Jun 20th 2011 12:20PM
Yeah I spent the entirety of Wrath thinking that Eregos was a female, my bad, anyway thanks for showing it.
Mograine and Whitemoor looked at each other, confused about what to do next, their competitor suddenly had a fierce ally, one who wouldn't break so easily, this moment didn't last long as Vanessa threw another smoke bomb blinding her opponents knowing she needed all the advantages she had available, she wouldn't underestimate her enemy this time like she had done previously.
Mograine and Whitemoor were still in the smoke, their eyes watering as Vanessa Van Cleef sprung from behind ambushing Mograine, as he fell to his knee's Whitemane protected her love with a Power Word:Shield. The smoke cleared the room, although the place was still on fire from Van Cleef's entrance. Mograine and Whitemane knew they needed to act fast and together, so with Mograine stunning Van Cleef, Whitemane turns to find the Cardboard assassin behind her. As she begins to cast Smite she loses control of herself and begins to laugh uncontrollably, whether a carefully constructed poison or just the sheer stupidity of the Cardboard Assassin, nobody in the crowd knew.
"Infidels, they must be purged" Mograine screamed at Van Cleef, Vanessa was ready for this though as she sidestepped Mograines monstrous charge and drove a fatal blow to his back. Whitemane has an astonished look on her face, nobody, nobody should EVER dare to touch Mograine "Mograine has fallen! You shall pay for this treachery! Arise, my champion! Arise!" As she resurrects Mograine, the Cardboard Assassin, forgotten as usual had actually stolen Mograine's warhammer, as Whitemane realised this she put both the Cardboard assassin and Vanessa to sleep, by singing one of her.....lovely is one way to put it (though many many people wouldn't), lullabies.
Whitemane in a fit of rage Dominates Vanessa's mind and forces her to put her blade through her stomach, to die an honorable death, "The only honorable thing she ever did" Whitemane announces to the crowd, as the Cardboard assassin, forgotten again by Whitemane pounces onto Whitemane forcing her to yield.
ekfxc Jun 20th 2011 12:21PM
I hate this column.
Ilmyrn Jun 20th 2011 12:39PM
And yet you still felt the need to click on it, read it (presumably), and then post a comment!
My, what a boring life you must lead, that telling everyone how much you hate things is your only source of entertainment.
MattKrotzer Jun 20th 2011 1:30PM
I'm sorry you're in a Clockwork Orange-like situation where you're forced to read it, then. That must be horrifying.
(cutaia) Jun 20th 2011 2:48PM
I hate this comment. :(
cloudhopper013 Jun 20th 2011 2:59PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0la5DBtOVNI
The Dewd Jun 20th 2011 12:27PM
This is a hard fight to call because...
There's no heroic version of SM Cathedral yet and Vanessa is a heroic-only boss. Vanessa is automatically more powerful because of that - and she's got the fan favorite on her side for this one.
Amanda A. Jun 20th 2011 12:41PM
For the sake of the tournament, both opponents are assumed to have the same power level. It only goes off abilities. (And popularity; how else do you explain the assassin...?)
Bashh Jun 20th 2011 12:46PM
Mograine and Whitemane will kill Vanessa but she'll blow them both up, leaving the training dummy as the sole survivor.
Reanne Jun 20th 2011 1:00PM
The assassin and Vanessa are going to win....
Vanessa goes invisible...
"What?" asks Whitemane
"I'll take the assassin first m'lady" says Morgraine charging at the Cardboard Assassin.
Morgraine hits the piece of Cardboard. It bounces back and springs forward hitting Morgraine...
Meanwhile, Vanessa had tip-toed to Whitemane.
"At your side m'lady!" yelled Morgraine, hitting the assassin again. The Assassin bounced back and hit Morgraine right where it hurt him the most...his head..."Me feel dizzy..." said Morgraine.
"Morgraine! Rise! Rise! No!! he didn't die!!" yelled Whitemane..."Me sleepy."
Vanessa had used her mind potions.
"For cardboard you're pretty good at fighting ya know," said Vanessa as she walked toward the Cardboard Assain. She grabbed the piece of cardboard and walked to the door.
"I believe we won," says Vanessa denotating the arena. She stepped out of the arena and high-fived the stunned Fordring, "See you next week."
Amaxe Jun 20th 2011 1:26PM
I'd suggest one change:
"I believe we won," says Vanessa giving the Cardboard Assassin a High Five. It bounces back and springs forward hitting Vanessa in the head knocking her unconscious...
The judges /facepalm as they award the Cardboard Assassin the victory.
Eregos ftw! Jun 20th 2011 1:03PM
NO! EREGOS! You... came so far, to lose to a giant stone monster! I'll miss you, little buddy :(
Mockery Jun 20th 2011 1:10PM
You know what's going to happen here.
Mograine will go to make short work of the assassin. And sword does beat cardboard, let's face it.
As Vanessa and Whitechapel exchange blows, the High Inquisitor sneers. "There goes your cheap trick."
"Fool!" Snaps the leader of the Defias. "My 'cheap trick' is rigged with explosives!"
Mograine roars, but it's drowned out by the shattering explosion of the Cardboard Assassin.
"ENJOY YOUR FIERY DEATH!" Shouts VanCleef, who seems about to laugh maniacally before she falls unconscious.
Whitemane must work quickly. She channels the Light, urging the Scarlet Commander back to life. "Arise, my champion!"
Renault pulls himself to his feet, exchanging a thankful glance to the Inquisitor. "At your side, mil--"
Another explosion.
Mograine rains to the ground in a mess of red giblets. The High Inquisitor stares in shock, barely registering the sharp blade raking across her throat. As she falls to the ground, her vision dimming, she hears Vanessa'svoice--still shaking off the last of the sleep cast upon her--as though from very far away...
"You didn't honestly think I'd only plant ONE set of explosives, did you?"
schwonga Jun 20th 2011 1:29PM
Long time voter, seldom commenter, but man I got something things I need to get off my chest:
A) Way to pull your arse out of the fire with this little stunt, bringing back what would have been a clear favorite boss from a humiliating demise from "for the lulz" wildcard defeat.
B) On a personal note, the longer comments of RP on how the fights would go can be ok, but sometimes the shorter comments do an even better job of capturing the gut feeling of the fights. Maybe include one of them as well as the a long description when you pick out your favorites?
C) I think I speak for many, many a voter when I say: %$#@ing Scarlet Crusade, 'bout time they burned out for good.
Hurbster Jun 20th 2011 1:34PM
Just to be absolutely sure the legitimate competitor is the CA, right ?