Phat Loot Phriday: Dragon Bone Warhelm

"Could have gone worse, I suppose," the druid said. It was strange to see words somehow slide through a cat's mouth. "No horrible offense taken, at least not from you."
"Not out yet," Throgg said. No sooner had the orc spoken than he pulled up short.
A short distance away, between a handful of sewn hide tents, a cookpot had just reached a boil. Two Grimtotem laughed as they wrestled a small human girl between them. She wept frantically, and her eyes were glazed with hysteria. Throgg's hand reflexively twitched, tightening around his mace. A dozen warriors stood laughing at the girl.
"By Elune," the druid said. He looked to the orc, then back to the tent. "It's a trap. The timing's too good. They knew we'd leave this way. Throgg, this is a setup ... "
The orc shook his head. "Then it is a good one. Get free of here." With a stern look at the group, Throgg slammed his helm over his head. "Tell ... tell little belf that I'm sorry I didn't come back."
The druid couldn't even open his mouth before the orc was in the middle of the tauren, screaming "I say thee, 'Nay!'"
- Type: Head, Plate
- Armor: 2784
- Strength: 259
- Stamina: 512
- Sockets: Meta, Red
- Socket Bonus: 45 Stamina
- Item Level: 359
- Equip: Increases your expertise rating by 113 (3.76 @ L85)
- Equip: Increases your mastery rating by 281 (1.57 @ L85)
How to get it: Kill Maloriak. It's 20% easier than it used to be.
How to get ride of it: You can sell it for 17 gold, 51 silver, and 32 copper, or disenchant it.
Filed under: Phat Loot Phriday






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Kunikenwad! Jul 1st 2011 6:04PM
Fight bravely and die with honor, Throgg.
epicboyz Jul 1st 2011 7:25PM
or fight bravely and win! Human girl joining Throgg's party would be cool... while im on the subject of cool... how about a single picture drawn by Kelly Aarons for each ep? /dream
Ravy Jul 1st 2011 6:18PM
No!
Fight with honor yes, but he must be saved by Lolegolas arriving just in the nick of time on his bear. And Not Spot will help save him too. They have to. :O
And then I guess we will have a little human girl added to the mix. o.o
Amaxe Jul 1st 2011 7:16PM
This is starting to feel like Fiona's caravan in the Eastern Plaguelands ;-)
shadcroly Jul 1st 2011 7:44PM
@Amaxe: There's only so much you can do with Lolegolas and Throgg. With more characters, you could legitimately cover more gear choices. Throgg wears Plate armor, Lolegolas wears Mail armor, Not Spot wears Leather armor, and if the Human girl joins them, I'm guessing she'll be some Cloth-wearing class. Maybe a Mage or a Priest.
Amaxe Jul 1st 2011 10:54PM
I'm not saying this like it was a bad thing, you know. Fiona's Caravan was a charming little sequence.
Rubitard Jul 1st 2011 6:22PM
Nay? Druids have horse form now?
/heh... cheap one.
MusedMoose Jul 1st 2011 8:25PM
That was no druid, that was Throgg! ^_^
Jeremy Jul 1st 2011 11:49PM
The sound horses make is spelled "neigh." Aside from being a worthless joke anyway, it doesn't even make sense.
Succulent Jul 1st 2011 6:26PM
We are but men. ROCK!
Telwar Jul 1st 2011 6:42PM
Alternately:
"Spot, HoT me up, then go Bear!"
Damarlen Jul 2nd 2011 9:46PM
I loled irl. Well written. Also, the whole Phat Loot Phriday is VERY well written, both comically and as an epic journey. Thanks to you both for just the thing to cheer me up after a long, hot day working in the sun.
xiani Jul 1st 2011 6:31PM
Didn't this column used to be about "phat loot"?
I fail to see how a helmet from the last tier is remotely...
Hah, only joking, - this has officially become the best thing on the site now, it's like an epic soap opera, and I am suitably cliff-hanged.
Keep it up;)
Angus Jul 1st 2011 6:48PM
heh, the helmet IS 20% easier to get now...
Phat loot you may not have seen before.
Plainswander Jul 1st 2011 6:33PM
what, wait....
when this turn from being one note gags to a story I'm actually interested in following? Damn, now I gotta go back and reread everything.
Nice work, thank you.
blancester Jul 1st 2011 6:44PM
You got a alot of phridays to read.
Anaughtybear Jul 2nd 2011 3:22AM
I'm thinking the opposite. When did this stop being a comedy and start being a soap opera? It's like if you enjoyed a sitcom and one week you tuned in to find it was now an uninteresting docu-drama.
Thomas Higgins Jul 2nd 2011 7:21AM
Excuse me, but you try and come up with something better, mr snarky. This is one of the highlights of this website. If you do not like it, do not read it. As a certain meerkat of our (British) acquaintance would say, "Simples!"
Amaxe Jul 2nd 2011 1:26PM
Personally, I'd like some of both. The story is interesting but I'd like the silly become prominent as well.
/Goes off to ponder what might happen if Throg was an engineer and built a cardboard assassin before going off to face Ozruk
Angus Jul 1st 2011 6:47PM
The Grimtotem being double crossing bastards? NEVER!
Blood and Thunder Throgg!