Breakfast Topic: Why can't my night elf have red hair?

My night elf cannot have red hair.
Let me explain why this is such a frigging big deal to me and all night elves across Azeroth. As a protection warrior, I need to not only bring my A-game when fighting the nastiest creatures that Ragnaros and the Firelands can throw at me, I have to look good doing it. As a main tank, my raid team and guild look to me for guidance, safety, and momentum. How, Blizzard, can I effectively be that focal point of magnanimous support and a pillar of raid success when my beautiful new tier armor can never match my hair? How am I supposed to lead gracefully and with assertion when I have to see a pale blue or (god forbid) purple-hued color atop my unhelmeted head?
The night elves have been the victims of an outrageous number of atrocities in Cataclysm, from the burning of Ashenvale forest to subjugation by the whispers of old gods in Darkshore. Night elves have been slaughtered at the front lines of Hyjal, on the Molten Front, and on Ragnaros' doorstep. Are you telling me that we proud warriors, we few honorable kaldorei who remain on Azeroth, cannot go into battle with our Elune-given right to red hair?
Surely the amount of time night elves have spent with the humans and dwarves has allowed them to glean the secrets of hair dyes. The dwarves have been using Gnomish Grey-Away 9000 for years to cover up their graying beards, receding hairlines, and empty scalps. You tend to turn a little vain when everyone can see the top of your head. Why is this technology not available to the night elves to make our hair crimson?
Maybe this is punishment for the night elves' constant tinkering with forces well beyond their scope and power. Could the inability to don a scarlet do be part of the night elven original sin -- the Well of Eternity's beckoning the Legion's attention and drawing them onto Azerothian shores? Is this our punishment for being at the beginning and the end of practically every major screw-up in the history of WoW?
The time for change is now. No time is better than after the shattering has torn the world asunder. It is time for the night elves to pick up the pieces of their civilization, clench their passions into a fist of change, and demand from Elune the ability to have red hair. The time of the night elves has returned.
No, seriously, my hair can't match my warrior tier 12 armor sets. Can I please have red hair on my night elf?
What other little oddities are out there in WoW that you'd like to have changed? Is your race missing red hair? What do you think about this injustice?
Filed under: Breakfast Topics






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 7)
Rezai Jul 8th 2011 8:04AM
Why can't my undead characters skin humans? Why can't my tuaren fit through doors while riding?
Thundermug Jul 8th 2011 12:13PM
Why can't my wildhammer dwarf have tattoos like all the other wildhammers? I've been holding off creating my Shaman until Blizzard fix what is clearly a bug!
Tricia Jul 8th 2011 1:46PM
Oh god, totally. The dungeon master chick in Ironforge has the sweetest tattoios and I WANT them for my female dwarf shaman and I cannot haz, and it irks me.
I mean I'm playing a FEMALE dwarf, already a small population on the server, so give me some sweet tattoos to ease my loneliness :)
Quasi Jul 8th 2011 2:31PM
For some reason I read that as "Give me some sweet potatoes to ease my lonelyness" and it seemed like a perfectly normal thing for a lady dwarf to say. Male dwarf here btw.
Nick Jul 8th 2011 4:12PM
For two either one or two alpha/beta builds of Cataclysm I was the happiest dwarf in the land with my Wildhammer tattoos. Don't know why blizzard pulled them out.
Mitawa Jul 8th 2011 10:50PM
So...sweet potatoes ease loneliness for dogs AND dwarves??
(http://littera-abactor.livejournal.com/7748.html best LJ post I ever read and had me rolling in laughter. srsly.)
Revnah Jul 8th 2011 8:06AM
Simple. Faction-change and make your warrior a troll, they're smokin' hot AND they can have red hair! ;-)
Oreet Jul 8th 2011 8:55AM
THIS!
Erendrake Jul 8th 2011 9:52AM
Not even a faction chance, just race. Dwarves are all about red hair!
Shinae Jul 8th 2011 9:55AM
As I said to the original post about the T12 armor, I'm so happy it will go with my troll warrior's firey hair.
I also like the 2 new styles that fem trolls got. More! More!
Shinae Jul 8th 2011 9:57AM
@Erendrake
But yes, if one MUST be Alliance... roll dwarf. Nelf tanking racial be damned!
alexeipavlov1974 Jul 8th 2011 9:59AM
Horde sucks. For the... Illidan!
Gossamer Jul 8th 2011 10:35AM
Indeed. I did it, so can you!
Transit Jul 8th 2011 8:07AM
You can be a Blood Elf Warrior, they have red hair.
For The Horde! :-D
Mathew McCurley Jul 8th 2011 8:10AM
I used to. I used to. ;_____________;
Transit Jul 8th 2011 8:16AM
I feel for you. I have an old guildie who now plays alliance and he wants me to switch over. But I just can't pull the trigger.
Anyway, I love the podcast! Keep up the great work!
jordan Jul 8th 2011 1:50PM
Yeah, faction transfer to a race who is the least Horde-like and largely views their membership in the Horde as a burden.
MusedMoose Jul 8th 2011 8:10AM
I feel your pain, Mr. McCurley. My night elf fire mage, simply by virtue of not being undead, will never be able to sport the badass shade of magenta that night elf DKs can get. And as a mildly psychotic engineer named after the greatest Final Fantasy villain ever, this upsets her. She tends to blow things up when she's upset. She's been upset since day one.
^_^
As for other hair-related concerns, I'd like a ponytail for male humans that doesn't bounce around like a small child who's eaten too much sugar whenever I run. I'd like the giant troll mohawks to be available to more races. I'd like pseudo-helmets that simply add an effect to your character's hair - the flaming halo from the Fire Festival is nifty, but I'd like my character's hair to actually be on fire; I think we're in the right patch for that sort of thing.
Also, I'd like my hunter's pets to have some nifty animations for when they're idle. Cats should lay down next to you, wolves and dogs should sit at your side like the loyal friends they are, and so on. Crocolisks should 'play dead' with that awesome flipped-over animation, because it'd be hilarious to see your pet just flip over and pretend to die because you stood still for too long.
themightysven Jul 8th 2011 8:23AM
I'd like the loose ponytail for gnomes (which looks fine in the barbershop/standing still, to not make said gnome maiden look like a hunchback while running
cyanea85 Jul 8th 2011 8:30AM
I agree wholeheartedly. I'd love for Draenei characters to get a wider variety of colors. I would love the pink that the other races can get on my paladin.