Breakfast Topic: Why can't my night elf have red hair?

My night elf cannot have red hair.
Let me explain why this is such a frigging big deal to me and all night elves across Azeroth. As a protection warrior, I need to not only bring my A-game when fighting the nastiest creatures that Ragnaros and the Firelands can throw at me, I have to look good doing it. As a main tank, my raid team and guild look to me for guidance, safety, and momentum. How, Blizzard, can I effectively be that focal point of magnanimous support and a pillar of raid success when my beautiful new tier armor can never match my hair? How am I supposed to lead gracefully and with assertion when I have to see a pale blue or (god forbid) purple-hued color atop my unhelmeted head?
The night elves have been the victims of an outrageous number of atrocities in Cataclysm, from the burning of Ashenvale forest to subjugation by the whispers of old gods in Darkshore. Night elves have been slaughtered at the front lines of Hyjal, on the Molten Front, and on Ragnaros' doorstep. Are you telling me that we proud warriors, we few honorable kaldorei who remain on Azeroth, cannot go into battle with our Elune-given right to red hair?
Surely the amount of time night elves have spent with the humans and dwarves has allowed them to glean the secrets of hair dyes. The dwarves have been using Gnomish Grey-Away 9000 for years to cover up their graying beards, receding hairlines, and empty scalps. You tend to turn a little vain when everyone can see the top of your head. Why is this technology not available to the night elves to make our hair crimson?
Maybe this is punishment for the night elves' constant tinkering with forces well beyond their scope and power. Could the inability to don a scarlet do be part of the night elven original sin -- the Well of Eternity's beckoning the Legion's attention and drawing them onto Azerothian shores? Is this our punishment for being at the beginning and the end of practically every major screw-up in the history of WoW?
The time for change is now. No time is better than after the shattering has torn the world asunder. It is time for the night elves to pick up the pieces of their civilization, clench their passions into a fist of change, and demand from Elune the ability to have red hair. The time of the night elves has returned.
No, seriously, my hair can't match my warrior tier 12 armor sets. Can I please have red hair on my night elf?
What other little oddities are out there in WoW that you'd like to have changed? Is your race missing red hair? What do you think about this injustice?
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Reader Comments (Page 2 of 7)
Hal Jul 8th 2011 8:58AM
Okay, I'll bite: Who is this "greatest Final Fantasy villain ever?"
MattKrotzer Jul 8th 2011 9:15AM
Kefka.
Mortenebra Jul 8th 2011 9:16AM
Holy cow... I lol'd when I imagined the crocolisk flipping over for no real reason. Thank you for that!
loop_not_defined Jul 8th 2011 10:16AM
I'm going to have FF3/6 music stuck in my head all day now.
Which isn't a bad thing, really.
Kylenne Jul 8th 2011 11:08AM
If your night elf mage (lol) was cool, she would have gotten herself kicked out with all the cool mages a few thousand years ago and would be able to have red hair*. Now she's stuck looking like a packet of grape koolaid and bouncing up and down like a moron.
signed,
a blood elf mage.
*and a reduced lifespan, but let's not quibble over details.
Hob Jul 8th 2011 11:15AM
If any other race on Azeroth could sport the trolls' magnificent crest, it would have to be dwarves. Because who wouldn't want to RP a Slayer, am I right? (Yes, Wildhammer tattoos would have to be implemented...)
But on a less superficial (and back to original franchise) level, it just makes sense:
* both races share a love of hunting (and bonuses with specific ranged weapons)
* reunification of tribes / kingdoms has been a big deal for both races this expansion
* they obviously get along (as NPCs anyway... Twilight Geolords and Darkmoon Faire and whatnot)
* Frostmane trolls do rock the magnificent crest, so dwarf adventurers have been seeing that coif since level 3.
* they're both ancient races, territorial, and stubborn.
* they both enjoy the company of a good gnome (*cough*)
* other good (and not so good) reasons that I haven't thought of yet.
Kook Jul 8th 2011 1:18PM
SLAYERS! GIEF!
Britty Jul 8th 2011 3:04PM
You know what makes me mad?
I was questing on my horde character in Stonetalon Mountains yesterday, and the Night Elf mobs there have that sweet magenta hair. I think it was female Darnassian Scout was the mob name?
Why can these obviously not-undead NPCs have this, yet my awesome night elf druid can't? So much sadness.
Big Shoe Jul 9th 2011 6:32AM
I also feel your pain, sir. While I get it that they fit into the lore, the rather garish anime hair colors for night elves have never been my cup of tea (except for the silver, which almost looks normal). Blood elves can be blondes, brunettes or redheads as they prefer, so who's to say that the barbers of Azeroth haven't discovered magical dyes that can let a paying customer have whatever hair color they want?
wow Jul 8th 2011 8:12AM
Roll a Worgen and choose black fur. ;) Black goes good with anything. Oh and judging by your rant, Matt, swtich to decaf, it'll keep you from blowing a fuse. :)
Shinanji
mibu.work1 Jul 9th 2011 12:30AM
Why can't orcs have more than six squares of varying hues make up their eyes? Seriously, look REALLY close at an orc's eyes, they're probably the lowest-graphic part of any model in the game.
gboyd Jul 8th 2011 8:19AM
Honestly, why would a Night Elf want red hair? It would look god awful against those skin tones. On top of that, Night Elves are creatures of the.... wait for it.... night. Red hair just doesn't suit them. This isn't an issue of matching the colors of your armor. As far as I am concerned, it is the armor that should match the race.
Just because I design a new T-Shirt that doesn't look as good on you as on someone else, doesn't mean you need to run out and change who you are just so you can wear a shirt.
In my opinion, if you want an elf with red hair, roll a Blood Elf.
If it makes you feel any better, artistically it's often good to throw a cooler color in when your main color scheme is warm.
anjeney Jul 8th 2011 10:00AM
Yes of the night gboyd. But guess what.. red is undetectable at night. This is why NE ROGUES want red hair also. I mean let's get real... white hair.. on a rogue? Puhleeze. And for the record.. the new night elf hair was extremely disappointing.
Agony Jul 8th 2011 12:45PM
I suspect Matt has more of a morning elf.
themightysven Jul 8th 2011 8:19AM
Years of dyeing their hair for raves have left a permenant blue hue to their hair, so, unfortunately the purple hair pictured is a Night Elf after receiving the strongest Henna dye treatment available. Given this, the best option for your hair and armour to fashionably match would be to go with white hair. (Due to the aforementioned blue problem, the white hair is just a wig)
Taitle Jul 8th 2011 8:20AM
A further hair related question: why can't we have blonde Gilneans?
Feldring Jul 8th 2011 8:48AM
Or Gilneans with gray / white hair? Maybe the curse has de-aged the populace somehow.
Nopunin10did Jul 8th 2011 9:44AM
Each hair color corresponds to a worgen-form fur color. If certain hair colors are unavailable, it's probably because there are fewer fur colors for worgen than there are hair colors for humans.
Rai Jul 8th 2011 9:52AM
I agree, I really wanted my Gilnean to have white hair.
Do they get executed over age 40 like some cheesy science fiction movie or something?
Wolfrunner Jul 8th 2011 12:40PM
That's wrong. Gilnean hair color has no effect on fur color. Skin color determines fur color. Hair color is soley for the human form.