Breakfast Topic: Why can't my night elf have red hair?

My night elf cannot have red hair.
Let me explain why this is such a frigging big deal to me and all night elves across Azeroth. As a protection warrior, I need to not only bring my A-game when fighting the nastiest creatures that Ragnaros and the Firelands can throw at me, I have to look good doing it. As a main tank, my raid team and guild look to me for guidance, safety, and momentum. How, Blizzard, can I effectively be that focal point of magnanimous support and a pillar of raid success when my beautiful new tier armor can never match my hair? How am I supposed to lead gracefully and with assertion when I have to see a pale blue or (god forbid) purple-hued color atop my unhelmeted head?
The night elves have been the victims of an outrageous number of atrocities in Cataclysm, from the burning of Ashenvale forest to subjugation by the whispers of old gods in Darkshore. Night elves have been slaughtered at the front lines of Hyjal, on the Molten Front, and on Ragnaros' doorstep. Are you telling me that we proud warriors, we few honorable kaldorei who remain on Azeroth, cannot go into battle with our Elune-given right to red hair?
Surely the amount of time night elves have spent with the humans and dwarves has allowed them to glean the secrets of hair dyes. The dwarves have been using Gnomish Grey-Away 9000 for years to cover up their graying beards, receding hairlines, and empty scalps. You tend to turn a little vain when everyone can see the top of your head. Why is this technology not available to the night elves to make our hair crimson?
Maybe this is punishment for the night elves' constant tinkering with forces well beyond their scope and power. Could the inability to don a scarlet do be part of the night elven original sin -- the Well of Eternity's beckoning the Legion's attention and drawing them onto Azerothian shores? Is this our punishment for being at the beginning and the end of practically every major screw-up in the history of WoW?
The time for change is now. No time is better than after the shattering has torn the world asunder. It is time for the night elves to pick up the pieces of their civilization, clench their passions into a fist of change, and demand from Elune the ability to have red hair. The time of the night elves has returned.
No, seriously, my hair can't match my warrior tier 12 armor sets. Can I please have red hair on my night elf?
What other little oddities are out there in WoW that you'd like to have changed? Is your race missing red hair? What do you think about this injustice?
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Reader Comments (Page 4 of 7)
Mortenebra Jul 8th 2011 9:13AM
Someone's been eating their spinach, obviously.
Mathew McCurley Jul 8th 2011 9:20AM
We already have lame lore restrictions on character classes, now we need it for hair colors? I don't buy it.
MattKrotzer Jul 8th 2011 9:23AM
If you think the color restrictions are lame, then what about the STYLE restrictions?
Colors KIND OF make sense. Not a lot of natural blondes or redheads in the asian/black communities, after all. But styles? There's no reason that every hair style can't be made available for every race. Hair is hair.
B1ue Jul 8th 2011 9:54AM
Mattkrozer, I'd have to call foul on your characterization of the Night Elf race. Malfurion, perhaps, is serene and calm. Actually, I suspect he's stoned. "Emerald Dream" indeed. Tyrande is at best pragmatic and has been quite viciously direct in her problem solving skills. Stanghelm does a very good impression of an enraged teakettle. Thisalee Crow is a bit too ready to get her claws dirty for my tastes. Maev Shadowsong could give King Varian lessons in bloody-mindedness.
Or, wait. Are you being sarcastic. I may have missed the sarcasm. In which case, just ignore me, nothing to see here folks.
eximus Jul 8th 2011 10:31AM
Matt you are wrong that no night elf fits to the fiery personalities. (Aside from Illidan)
The firey persons are just hiding! (And propably ambushing people there and here.)
Bart Jul 8th 2011 9:25AM
The fact that Draenei and Tauren both have massive animation bugs that occured since 4.0 and have yet to be fixed.
~Male Tauren tails bend unnaturally without a long cloak.
~Male Tauren Hair clips badly when they scratch their butts.
~Male Draenei have bad aim when casting while moving (As a Retadin this annoys me) or while swimming (Moving or staitionary in water)
~Female Draenei bend over backwards when talking and walking.
These bugs make me want to stop playing Tauren/Draenei until they are fixed.
Nagaina Jul 8th 2011 9:26AM
I think I love you. ^_^
Also: a hundred and thirty million different shades of blonde and red for blood elves...and yet all I want is black hair that isn't actually a dusty shade of *blue.*
On the other hand: my she-belfadin loves the new braid 'do, particularly now that she's got the whole Tier 1 set, in which she looks extraordinarily hot.
Shinae Jul 8th 2011 9:48AM
Meh, I tried the new braid-'do, but it shows off way too much forehead. Also, the brown-est shade is also reddish. I would like dark brown without any red in it to match my RL hair. I just gave up and went white to reflect that she's an older elf.
HappyTreeDance Jul 8th 2011 9:35AM
Why can't my belf female have a less preppy hairstyle? Seriously Blizz, give me something cute and punky. The horde hair stylists are all goblins, I think this could be arranged.
Why can't my belf male have short hair that does NOT look like DBS or like a swim cap?
Why are their only four tauren female face options?
Why can't my female troll blink?
Why do the majority of the Horde males have to hunch over so much? Seriously. I would be much more enthusiastic about playing a troll or an orc if they had better posture. And obviously the females got the lecture to stand up straight, so why not the guys?
Why can't I have an epic polearm with strength on it?
HappyTreeDance Jul 8th 2011 9:37AM
And of course, by DBS, I meant DBZ. Should not post first thing in the morning.
Murdertime Jul 8th 2011 9:47AM
Why has Thrall suddenly got perfect posture? Did holding the world together work out the kink in his back?
Also, why does Aggra sound like a black lady?
Why doesn't Garrosh have the same weird pseudo-african accent? Nagrand isn't that big that you're gonna have regional dialects.
Pasty Jul 8th 2011 9:56AM
More questions for your list ;)
Why are Orcs suddenly so hunched over after WC3 when they stood relatively straight?
Why do all the female races in the game look more like female Humans than the males of their own race?
Why do Taurens not wear any armour over their... mane? Even if cows don't exactly have manes. Surely that's a really bad idea?
Aruhgulah Jul 8th 2011 12:52PM
@Murder:
"Why does Aggra sound like a black lady?"
Um...why shouldn't she?
The voice actress doing Aggra does a wonderful job, btw, even though I spent all the "Thrall" questline wanting to slap Aggra into the next century for just STANDING there ruminating about life, love & Thrall while I'm getting my butt handed to me by elementals.
ufmasquerade Jul 8th 2011 5:37PM
Personally, I feel as Aggra sounds a little too much like a female Draenei - which Aggra is obviously not.
gboyd Jul 8th 2011 6:11PM
Oh god, please stop typing "belf" I'm gonna be sick.
Gimmlette Jul 8th 2011 9:52AM
I'd like to see some temporary hair colors available during festivals. For example, during the fire festival, 5 different shades of red or orange would be available. During the lunar festival, shades of white, gray or blue. During Winter Veil, reds and greens.
Personally, I have always been very happy with the look of my female dwarf. There's a bad joke about dwarves, "How do you tell a male and female dwarf apart? Her beard is actually combed." I'm very glad Blizzard decided NOT to have female dwarves with beards.
How about an achievement for trying every single color and hair cut style available or changing the color and style more than, say 50, times? I wouldn't do it on my main, but on my bank alts? Almost every week, they get their hair done. Or maybe, in reference to a certain former presidential candidate's cost for grooming, "Under the Dryer Too Long"; Spend 400g on hair cuts."
alexeypavlov1974 Jul 8th 2011 9:54AM
Draenei female + red hairs... Epic! Belfs suck.
veil Jul 8th 2011 9:57AM
roll a night elf death knight and you can get pink hair.
anon e moose Jul 8th 2011 10:12AM
The reason Night Elfs dont have red hair? Simple! Elune blessed them with perfect genetics. They do not have a defective chromasone 23 (I think) hence they cannot be ginger. Ginger and the variants (red flaming hair) is a defect (probably due to an old god or the 'curse' of the flesh not working on rusty machines or something), at least genetically speaking.
Ofc nature has a way round this, which is quite simple. Red is a warning colouration, so all you have to do is make your NE posionous, and after a few millenia the hair should naturally evolve to a natural red (or orange or yellow), so signify you are poisonous and shouldnt be eaten. However generating the poison without killing the NE is probmatical....Im sure the gnomes are working on that tho - it should only take a few million years for them to come up with that solution, and if that doesnt blow up the whole race, every well of eternity ever created, then it may even work.
Ofc there is a race specialising in poisons, and has generated one that can be administered to NE's (and anything else that moves it seems), and if your REALLY lucky you may still be animate after it.....Ofc you probably wont have hair (for long at least) after that, and probably will lose a lot of other things (skin, looks, life - that sort of thing).
So there you go - 3 'easy' ways to help your hair problem
Oh you did try colouring it didnt you?
Kylenne Jul 8th 2011 11:08AM
The biggest argument against night elves having perfect genetics is the male night elf face.