Phat Loot Phriday: Jaws of Defeat
by Michael Gray 
Jul 8th 2011 at 4:00PM
"Good," Lolegolas said, again surprising the druid. The two of them were in a small camp consisting of a tiny cooking fire, the druid's cot, and a log for the blood elf to sit on. It lacked even a tent. "I was worried."
"What happened?" the druid said. He finally found the strength to sit up, swinging his legs over the side of the cot. "I was trying to get free and bring ... Throgg! Throgg needs us!"
"I know," the blood elf said quietly. "The Grimtotem tossed you into a river. I found you on the way to the top of the bluff. They left you for dead. I suspect if it weren't for your particular curse, you would be. Can you walk? They will execute Throgg in the morning if we're not in position soon."
The druid muttered a quick prayer. Green lights circled his body, invigorating him. "Healing is not my strength, but I am capable. We can go. What's your plan?"
Lolegolas proffered a small trinket in his hands. It looked like the jawbone of a tiny shark. "We'll snatch victory from this. The Jaws of Defeat. One of the most powerful magical artifacts used today. I have a plan."
The blood elf cast his gaze to the bluff overlooking Grimtotem Central. "We're out of time. Let's go. Ride like the wind, druid. Ride like the wind."
Next week, the conclusion of this part of the tale (and the return of more jokes) ...
- Type: Trinket
- Intellect: 383
- Item Level: 378
- Use: Your next 10 spells cast within 20 seconds will reduce the cost of your holy and nature spells by 110, stacking up to 10 times (2-minute cooldown).
- How to get it: Kill Staghelm. As much as you Horde players think you will enjoy doing so, your joy will be an iota of the bliss felt by Alliance players killing him.
- How to get rid of it: Sell it for 8 gold, 5 silver, and 7 copper, but this price seems awfully low for an ilvl378 trinket. Better to get the Maelstrom Crystal.
Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Filed under: Phat Loot Phriday
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Shinae Jul 8th 2011 4:09PM
I would say that it's a cliffhanger, but "bluffhanger" is more appropriate.
Now I am hoping for an action-packed scene next week, summer-movie-style!
msawyer93 Jul 8th 2011 4:10PM
i really hate to say it but....first!
msawyer93 Jul 8th 2011 4:10PM
dammit nevermind
matt Jul 8th 2011 4:23PM
Why? Why do you insist on doing that? No one likes it. No one thinks it's cute, or funny, and it sure as hell isn't original. It's worse than being rick rolled by rebecca black while putting a first in your first so you can first while you first after claiming all your base are belong to us. It's stupid, immature and it drives me up the frickin wall.
Sorry for the rant. Long day at work with grouchy clients.
DonNochay Jul 8th 2011 4:58PM
It "drives you up the wall"? I think that may be a bigger issue than the dude feeling the need to post "first".
Ilmyrn Jul 8th 2011 4:24PM
Jokes? Who needs jokes? This saga of Throgg, Lolegolas, and NotSpot is quickly becoming one of my favorite pieces of fan(ish) fic!
Mitawa Jul 8th 2011 10:27PM
Why can the blue of your post not be made brighter??
This story arc was awesome!
matt Jul 8th 2011 4:27PM
Another great Phat loot Phriday. I really liked this line:
The druid muttered a quick prayer. Green lights circled his body, invigorating him. "Healing is not my strength, but I am capable. We can go. What's your plan?"
I love it when the characters do stuff like this. Taking spells from in game and giving it context like this is really cool. Keep up the good work Gray!
Shinae Jul 8th 2011 5:48PM
That's why using addons to occaisionally emote about your spells, such as SpeakinSpell, are such fun!
Peebers Jul 8th 2011 4:34PM
I really dig the writing. Feels like I missed a big chunk of story between columns. Annoyed me at first but it's fun to imagine what happened.
Arrohon Jul 8th 2011 4:44PM
"Kill Staghelm. As much as you Horde players think you will enjoy doing so, your joy will be an iota of the bliss felt by Alliance players killing him."
The thought of this is starting to make me giddy! That dude has had it coming!!!
Angus Jul 8th 2011 4:53PM
Shut up and go farm some morrowgrain.
;)
Maribel Jul 8th 2011 8:08PM
The thought of getting to kill Staghelm makes me really wish I was raiding this time around. My first toon was a Night Elf. I leave it to readers to determine if there's any link between these statements.
Kaphik Jul 8th 2011 4:47PM
Boo! Useless for shadow priests and warlocks, but at least mages get screwed too.
Revynn Jul 9th 2011 1:48AM
Its called a healing trinket. Were you also upset about Core of Ripeness?
ladygamertn Jul 8th 2011 5:11PM
This has really turned out to be quite engrossing! I have to admit I really don't care about the loot involved... I am just really interested in how the story progresses! I'd buy this book!!
Shinae Jul 8th 2011 5:51PM
NotSpot would FLY like the wind!... unless he never got to train for his flight form.
Shinae Jul 8th 2011 5:52PM
Oops, I meant to reply to Astoreth. *points down*
Astoreth Jul 8th 2011 5:15PM
Lolegolas, dear, I think you mean "Ride like the WIN."
Calicia Jul 8th 2011 5:28PM
Actually, NotSpot would "run wild like the wind".