When stress and other factors got me to a point where my raid leader took me aside and said "hey, other people are feeling like your comments during raid are downing them" I took a step back and let a week or two go before raiding again. I will take off my headset (I listen through the speakers and just use the mic) so I'm not overtalking everyone, or if someone's frustrating me--because we're a casual guild, not hardcore progression.

Real Life pal of the guild leaders or not, if this guy actually has been spoken to, he needs to take some time out and realize he might be driving people away from the raid, whether they're regular members or back ups (like the writer may end up being due to his scheduling conflicts and lack of time--which there's nothing wrong with!). Losing back ups can be just as bad as losing regulars.

Expecting everyone in a casual guild to hold to the same personal standard, when the bosses are dying and progress is being made, can be harmful to the overall. I remind my roommate a lot that not everyone can perform to her levels (she's one of our mega-DPS), and the only thing she can do about it is to offer advice, link to pages with helpful info, and run people through instances on off nights to get them points and gear--or go to a more hardcore raid group. Otherwise, the raid leader needs to handle it during the raid and being elitist is only going to get her a disappointed talk from the raid lead and bad feelings from the rest of the guild.

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