WoW Rookie: How to deal with disruptive players and hate speech

My 9 year old has medical conditions that keep him from having many friends or going outside to play. He has to be homeschooled. For entertainment and to give him a feeling of exploration and adventure, we play warcraft. Other people can be very cruel in real life, so warcraft is a nice escape from that.
But wow has gotten nearly as bad. you can't hardly be in Tol Barad or Orgrimmar without hearing "ni$&@!," '$#%," and other hateful language. using the LFD tool is just as bad if not worse. My son plays a prot paladin/holy paladin so that any group he gets in will have a healer or a tank as needed. But the number of "fag elf" accusations we've seen in LFD is discouraging.
I'm not even counting "noob" and "you suck" in all this.
We're really thinking about moving on if things don't get better. What can we do about this?
hope you can help,
a mom
You can see the happy and the sad in that -- happy that our beloved game can help a family; sad that we as players can have such a negative impact. My initial reaction was to hope this was being blown out of proportion. After all, I tend to get riled about slurs and hate speech myself and do so very quickly. Maybe A Mom was being oversensitive?
While it's fair to say maybe kids shouldn't be in the game, families absolutely have a reasonable expectation that they can play together.
Data tells the truth
I wanted to be sure. Since I received the letter, I kept track of hateful slurs and speech I saw in the game. Now, one week on one server is hardly a statistically significant portion of the WoW experience -- but still, starting somewhere ... I kept track of each example of hate speech and normalized it across my play time.
This is what I found about frequency. This includes the trade and general channels in the cities, as well as the raid chat in Tol Barad:
- Slurs about sexual orientation 1 every 2 minutes
- Racial slurs One every 3 to 4 minutes
- Misogynist language One every 1 minute in general, but almost none in Tol Barad
In the end, I can definitely see why A Mom would be concerned about exposing a growing child to this kind of language. The question becomes what you can do about it.

World of Warcraft has built-in chat filters. These filters are your first line of defense. They don't catch everything; creative folks are constantly changing curse words, finding new ways to say the same old junk. Using the chat filters won't do anything to stop the offensive chat, but they will garble the words on your own screen. Chat filters are not a total solution, but they will help.
Ignore list
Become good friends with your Ignore feature. All you have to do to ignore someone is right-click the name in your chat dialogue and choose Ignore. That person will not appear in your chat window and they won't be included in PUGs you join through the random Dungeon Finder.
If someone's language is bothersome to you, don't be shy about hitting Ignore and moving on with your life.
Report Player
You can report a player the same way you ignore them. It's hard to get a good sense for whether Blizzard prefers you to report players or simply ignore them, but I tend to report particularly offensive hate speech and then immediately follow up by ignoring them.
In a sense, Blizzard can't take action about these problems if no one reports them. If we want the GMs to handle a problem, we should notify them of it.
Avoid hot spots
This tip is probably the most important for avoiding children's exposure to inappropriate discussion: Avoid the place where that language is most common.
You tend to find problematic behavior congegrated in the capital cities, especially Orgrimmar and Stormwind. Goldshire in Elwynn Forest is strictly off-limits except when you must level through it.
Sadly, Tol Barad sees a lot of hateful language, which is somewhat part and parcel of a contested PVP zone.
Turn off chat
Lastly, feel free to turn off general and trade chat. Find yourself a good, family-friendly guild to hang out with and stay away from the general populace chat channels. This is probably the best way to control what your child is exposed to, since the only chat you'll see is with these friendly folks.
WoW is a pretty awesome game. But with any game so huge, you'll inevitably come across some folks who just don't know how to behave in public. The best way to minimize exposure to those folks is to simply avoid and ignore them.
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Reader Comments (Page 2 of 7)
JKWood Aug 11th 2011 8:06PM
I haven't played since early this year, but we really didn't have that kind of problem on Borean Tundra, nor on the Emberstorm battlegroup in general. Perhaps a server transfer is in order?
That one Joey Aug 11th 2011 8:12PM
I play on Emberstorm and I dont recall ever really seeing anything horrible from BT people in the 2 odd years that LFG has existed. Now on my server, slurs and curse words are usually used in trade chat, but there is an aura of negativity with people constantly calling each other bad.
That one Joey Aug 11th 2011 8:12PM
*arent.
lack of an edit button -1
me- 0
humperdinck Aug 11th 2011 8:22PM
I agree and suggest transferring to an RP server. There's jerks everywhere, but in my experience, RP servers are a little warmer and fuzzier. You'll just have to worry about him stumbling into the occasional ERP.
Arrohon Aug 11th 2011 9:59PM
Stay away from Silver Hand and Moon Guard. Silver Hand (my home) because it's more of a pve server than a rp one. It depends on who is on though (if you do go to Silver Hand alliance side be sure to put aceloww on ignore before you see him as he can be pretty vulgar). Moon Guard because I've heard that ERP is pretty common there (could be thinking of another server though).
Maribel Aug 11th 2011 11:09PM
Moon Guard is notoriously filthy, but RP servers in general are considerably better than standard PVE (or worse yet, PVP) servers. I was kind of shocked by how prevalent hate speech was considered to be in the original post.
And heck, a bit of family-friendly RP might be a good lesson in creativity and language skills.
Mark Aug 12th 2011 1:33AM
Borean Tundra is very chill compared to most, it's been my home since the day it opened. I went to Azjol-Nerub for a bit, but the atmosphere is way different, I did find a nice guild to call home recently but work has prevented me from playing much (these 70+hour weeks are killing me!)
Anyhow, I know way too many people on BT to ever make a permanant move and the people there are (mostly) great.
Silvanoshei/Lolrett(A) - Nhhym(H) plus another 7 85s
andvili Aug 12th 2011 11:41PM
Farstriders is EXTREMELY chill. We have our share of idiots, but for the most part behaviour like this isn't tolerated.
That one Joey Aug 11th 2011 8:10PM
I'd agree with turning off chat for a 9 year old and I'd also agree to join a guild thats friendly at at most, keeping gchat at a PG level. I lead my own casual raiding guild and gchat is strictly kept pg-13. Anyone using foul language or inappropriate innuendos are given a warning (warning are kept tabs in officer notes) and a second offense is a temporary demotion to a Time Out rank where they cant reply in guild chat until they've cooled their jets.
Tai Aug 11th 2011 8:30PM
Use the profanity filter
Join a family friendly guild
Report offensive comments
Ignore is your friend
I should point out that the average 9 year old hears quite a variety of language at school. You can explain that some people have a need to attract attention to themselves in any way possible and use offensive language to do that. Personally, I don't like pugs, and if I do encounter nastiness I either drop group or ignore for one or two players.
Nagaina Aug 11th 2011 8:50PM
The kid in question is homeschooled. I doubt very seriously that a parent who objects to this sort of language is using it at home.
Tai Aug 11th 2011 9:14PM
Yes, I read the part about being home-schooled. I am just pointing out that whether or not you allow your children to use such language, or use it yourself, a nine year old can understand the difference between what other people might do and what is acceptable at home. The odd swear word is not going to traumatize a kid.
Guapa Aug 12th 2011 5:57AM
yeah, in fact most (male) kids around 8 to 10 years will have their own phase where they use hardly anything but curse words. I know it, I've been there myself and I heard it a lot from others.
Since the kid is homeschooled, he's deprived of that cursing experience (among many other things), so maybe allowing him to have his share in WoW isn't so bad after all. Next time you see rude language in chat, tell your kid to reply back even ruder.
This way he will not only learn to stand up to someone (in a much more harmless way than a schoolyard skirmish) but he will also learn the proper vocabulary to notice when he's being insulted irl.
Guapa Aug 12th 2011 5:56AM
another idea: learn German together with your kid and move to a German server. We have hardly any racism or sexism, only occasional foul language and if there is flaming in general chat, it's mostly to bash players who posted something very stupid.
You will however hear insults in pugs if you're a tank or healer and not completely flawless and overgeared. But then again, you wouldn't let your kid take a walk through the park at night with four complete strangers, why would you do that in game?
Also, German curse words are much funnier than English ones because our vowels come with dots, Köter, Ärschlöch and Schlämpe for instance.
Besides, now that you can speak German, you may want to move to Germany. We don't have homeschooling here, because no matter how bad the condition of your kid is, there will be school full of other kids with similar problems and a bunch of professionals to teach them. Free of charge of course.
Beleth Aug 11th 2011 8:45PM
They're going to hear those words eventually. Children need to learn that words are just words. But it seems most parents don't realize that.
But the game is rated "T" for Teen. Let's start there, shall we?
JKWood Aug 11th 2011 11:34PM
I was going to go on a profanity-laden rant about your lineage and taste in dating material... but I couldn't bring myself to do it, not even to prove a point.
The truth is, words do have power - always have, always will.
Scott Aug 11th 2011 8:49PM
RP servers tend to have a more "adult" population, though that can backfire too (in the case of Moongarde's reputation)
I would avoid PvP servers at all costs.
Mebbe it's time for Blizz to introduce G-Rated servers?
locksoflocks Aug 11th 2011 9:12PM
I completely agree with this idea, if they had "G" rated servers that were for kids and people's accounts could be banned from those servers by GMs so that they couldn't create an alt, that would be great. Then when an individual was reported for being inappropriate the GM could look into the issue and kids would be "safe".
However I must say that I do believe in desensitization and that is part of why I allow my kids to play violent games like wow, and also why I am ok with them PvPing. But a little bit at a time is what it takes, not bury them in it.
Scott Aug 11th 2011 9:20PM
at locksoflocks:
I have nothing against PvP, my concern is that PvP servers tend to attract, shall we say, less "mature" individuals than other types.
Before i get hate responses, let me be clear: plenty of players enjoy the PvP game (and PvP servers) and are responsible, mature and considerate gamers.
But the average misogynistic neanderthal who only wants to PWN noobs and trash talk will likely be found on a PvP server.
Arrohon Aug 11th 2011 10:08PM
I was going to play on Azgalor which is a pvp server but among other reasons I left hours after hitting 85 due to how obvious that everyone seemed to be a teenager or acted like one. It really turned me off from pvp servers especially since I don't pvp.