Two Bosses Enter: High Priestess Azil vs. Foe Reaper 5000
by Mathew McCurley 
Sep 12th 2011 at 3:00PM
Last week's matchup between Zanzil and Beauty was, unfortunately, not as nail-bitingly close as the Jan'alai and Corborus matchup, but it still had some major turn-out for this mismatched pair. In the end, Zanzil took the win based on the voting, but Beauty and her litter of core hound pups were definitely the fan favorite. Votes, however, are the winner's currency.
The first round of fighting is over and it's time for the next round of matches to begin. The first matchup after the initial bouts is a strange matchup indeed, even stranger than the original two that brought us these two winning contestants. This week, High Priestess Azil, Twilight Hammer priestess extraordinaire, faces off against the mechanical menace Foe Reaper 5000.
| High Priestess Azil | |
|---|---|
| Foe Reaper 5000 |
Follow along for the details of this week's matchup, as well as discussion on last week's match.
The rules of the ring
- The WoW Insider Ring is considered neutral territory, where both combatants are able to access their usual encounter mechanics and abilities. If you can't visualize it inside the squared circle, visualize it someplace else -- but you must take into consideration all of each bosses' abilities and mechanics.
- Assume that each opponent is intelligent and capable of strategic thinking.
- All of the competitors' abilities, including crowd control and other effects to which bosses are usually immune, work on their opponents (with apologies to considerations of lore on this point).
- Assume that the opponents share similar levels, health pools, and comparative overall damage output.
- Don't get caught up in gameplay mechanics and what actual players might do in each encounter.
- Don't neglect style, story, and scale. Everything is a factor; seeking balance is your goal as a spectator and judge.
The world will be reborn in flames!
There is no one in the game whose voice annoys Mike Sacco more than High Priestess Azil. In fact, if you are coming to BlizzCon this year and hit our reader meetup, you should let Sacco know that the world will be reborn in flames, and that your powers were bestowed upon you by DEATH. WING. Azil is a powerhouse, easily crushing her first opponent in the tournament, Cookie, with ease. Even though her opponent is fearsome, I wouldn't count out this Twilight priestess.
Azil's arsenal includes ...
- Force Grip
- Curse of Blood
- Summon Gravity Well
- Seismic Shard
- She does not get her cultist adds, because that would be cheating.
Foe Reaper 5000 online. All systems nominal.
After defeating Commander Springvale in a decisive victory, Foe Reaper 5000 advances into the next round with all the clanking and whirring his mechanical body can muster. This time around, the Foe Reaper 5000 faces a much different opponent from his last victory, a completely different type of foe ... reaper ... haw haw.
The Foe Reaper's arsenal includes ... Foe Reaper 5000 causes pain and lots of it. Can he press on in the tournament?
Zanzil took it home with the final vote count, putting down the massive core hound Beauty and her core hound pups. It was a hard-fought match, especially in the comments, where many commenters had very different understandings and interpretations of the fight. Some people thought that Beauty and her pups possessed the instinctual intelligence to use Zanzil's cauldrons appropriately based on his abilities. Personally, I was not so inclined.
Here's how my truncated version of the fight went:
- Beauty and Zanzil enter the arena.
- Zanzil uses his Graveyard Gas, sending Beauty and her pack into a panic.
- Beauty runs around in a panic, knocking over Zanzil's cauldrons, spilling their contents to the floor.
- With no way to combat his abilities, Beauty and her pups easily succumb to Zanzil and his zombie horde.
- Zanzil collects his loot.
elili said what everyone was thinking, short and sweet:
graveyard gas kills runty, game overI don't know in this case if Beauty's enrage helps her that much. Zanzil has some beefy berserkers he can raise to put in front of himself and Beauty, and his Zanzil Fire is a nasty attack.
I'm a fan of Katherine's tale, as Runty not only gets to live, but becomes the most littlest, most ferocious boss ever.
Oh, Zanzil, Zanzil, how will you get yourself out of this mess?Finally, I agree with MattKrotzer:
Runty stays safely out of the arena during the fight, and comes running in when he hears Beauty's death rattle. He sniffs at her corpse, and curls up next to her with great fiery tears forming in his eyes. He was the runt of the litter, and everyone knew it, but he was safe while his mother was around to put the fear into people who threatened him. Now he would have to make his own way in the world, with noone to protect him from marauding adventurers blinded by their own greed.
Zanzil is packing up his cauldrons when he hears a whine. "What's this? Oh Zanzil, zanzil, you've forgotten about one of the pups! Don't worry, little Runty, Zanzil's got big plans for this one!" He reaches into his bag of tricks and carefully lobs a vial at Beauty. "Rise up! Zanzil's elixir gives you life!" As Beauty rises as a zombie, Zanzil straps his cauldrons to her back, and Runty starts peeing himself with joy. The puddle of fire burns a dent into the arena floor - let's see the magic brooms clean that one up! "Come along, little Runty," calls Zanzil, as he leads Beauty to the arena entrance. "You and Zanzil are going to be best of friends. You and your mother will make sure nobody laughs at Zanzil again."
There's a new corehound boss in Zul'Gurub. Zanzil, Beauty, and Runty (he's trying his hardest! He's almost ferocious!) are the new bane of cross-server pugs.
I voted for Zanzil on the strength of the voice acting alone. I didn't want the fight to end!It really does!
| Beauty | |
|---|---|
| Zanzil |
The battle begins!
Remember, Two Bosses Enter matchups are all about substance and style, not gameplay, mechanics, and numbers. Don't base your strategies on player tactics, which opponent has been easiest or most difficult for you personally, or the difficulty of each opponent relative to instance progression. Vote for the spirit of the battle as set forth above. Set aside differences in opponents' health pools, game level, and actual damage output. Absolutely no game mechanics nitpicking!
Set aside the world order -- let the WoW Insider Ring determine who's the champion! Your votes determine the outcome in WoW Insider's series of fantasy deathmatches, Two Bosses Enter, One Boss Leaves.
Filed under: Two Bosses Enter
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Maestrol Sep 12th 2011 3:18PM
Anzil's has always had a nack of controlling the party member you need the most at teh time, and with no one around to break the CC for poor old reaper He wont be able to use his heavy hitting abilities for more than the breifest of moments. Looks like Rock beats metal.
Noah Sep 12th 2011 4:15PM
"Anzil"
WTB edit button?
Nitride Sep 12th 2011 3:21PM
Need to add Tyrm the Hope Ender.
More of an outdoor boss or "don't go idle on the main drag in western Zul'Drak" reminder.
Evoere Sep 12th 2011 3:24PM
Wait, so does the Foe Reaper get to use his adds?
Bellajtok Sep 12th 2011 3:31PM
Extrapolating from Azil's known abilities, she seems to have a measure of power over earth. The Foe Reaper 5000 is made of metal and has no magical abilities to resist with. Assuming she can extend her control to metal, this seems like an easy won for Azil.
Bellajtok Sep 12th 2011 3:33PM
*easy win. WTT comment system for edit button.
Natsumi Sep 12th 2011 5:38PM
She has power over gravity, not earth.
Hugo C Sep 12th 2011 3:37PM
Foe Reaper doesn't have a chance. He will get distracted by teh Azil's terrible voice acting and be smashed by the POWER bestowed upon her by DEATH - WING.
Pantro Sep 12th 2011 3:39PM
Rock always wins from scissors :D
Maelgwn Sep 12th 2011 3:40PM
I think I recall that rock is "not very effective" against steel...
Natsumi Sep 12th 2011 5:39PM
Don't forget that Steel is Super Effective against Rock.
Vael Sep 12th 2011 3:42PM
I think that this fight definitely goes to...
"Finally, I agree with MattKrotzer"
Sorry, I passed out for a second. Fight goes to Azil; everyone knows Rock beats Scissors.
jaqtuhp Sep 12th 2011 4:32PM
High Priestess Azil all the way. She can shield with 90% damage reduce, and throw gigantic stones that deal 400k a pop! Just look at Rock-Paper-Scissors. Rock crushes Scissors every time. It's the same thing here. Azil's rocks will crush Foe Reaper (scissor-hands).
jaqtuhp Sep 12th 2011 4:34PM
I posted my comment before I read anyone else. Good to know I'm not the only one thinking that way...
GhostWhoWalks Sep 12th 2011 4:36PM
Foe Reaperrrrrr. Seriously, those whirling blades can shred the avalanche of adds Azil summons, it's fast enough that it can dodge out of the way of her rock shards with ease, and then Harvest will rip Azil apart.
Yet another foe has been reaped.
Jaenik Sep 12th 2011 4:48PM
Foe this one, I have to go with the Foe Reaper 5000. As crazy as Azil is with all of her madness, this guys is a machine.... that reaps FOEs! Foe the preistess to pull this one out she would need the aid of Fee and Fie, cause this one is done. Foe Sure.
BloodCrow Sep 12th 2011 4:53PM
I swear to god, i pick the loser every week, lol.
Fizzyl Sep 12th 2011 4:54PM
Azil wore an arrogant grin as she floated serenely in a sphere of crackling purple force - just one of the many amazing powers bestowed upon her by Deathwing. Tirion Fordring, his arms folded as well as one can fold his arms in plate mail, glared righteously down at the Twilight priestess levitating above the coliseum floor.
"Your opponent will arrive shortly. I am told he is undergoing final adjustments."
Azil raised a delicate eyebrow. She had anticipated having to face one of the many filthy trolls who littered this farcical tournament, but one did not generally have to adjust trolls. Perhaps this one had a bad back. Her head snapped around as she heard the great doors of the coliseum rumble open to a cheer from the gathered Crusaders, adventurers, famous personages, goblin cartel oddsmakers and itinerant gamblers. There was a faint whirring sound from the shadowed doorway, and two eyes flared. A voice - or at least the echo of one - spoke in eerily placid tones.
"Foe Reaper 5000 on-line. All systems nominal."
An assemblage of mechanisms roughly screwed together into humanoid shape clanked into the coliseum, and Azil spent a few long moments staring, then threw her head back and laughed.
"This is what you put before me, Fordring? First the murloc in his little cookpot and now THIS?" She sneered up at the High Crusader. "I'm beginning to think you do not respect my power."
"To the contrary, dark priestess - I think it is you who do not respect those you face." Tirion said, raising an armored fist high. "Champions - BEGIN!"
The robot spun around once, its gleaming claws extended. The glowing eyes lit with the fires of the strange forges of the Deepmines swept the coliseum and settled upon the priestess, still floating in her shimmering sphere of dark energy.
"Acquiring target."
Azil waited a moment, her hands at her side, curious as to what the contraption was capable of. An unusual mechanism, as little as she understood these things - it appeared to be based on the designs of the harvest reapers she remembered in Westfall from when she had been a little girl - but the ominous bladed claws and the fiery eyes and the grinding engines spoke of a device put to a whole new purpose. Well, it mattered not. The thing looked like it was still "acquiring" her, and she had grown bored. Some goblin tinker might have hammered a plowshare into a clanking sword with an annoying voice, but it looked like it could still be crushed with boulders. She raised her hands suddenly, causing the sphere of energy around her to brighten and crackle, and the coliseum rumbled.
"Let me show you what I respect, Fordring …" she grinned malefically, and clenched her fists as the ground behind her cracked in magical agony and spat gouts of lava, drawing shouts of alarm from the crowd. "This world will be reborn - in FLAMES."
Three huge chunks of the earth, dripping with the seething lava that had boiled forth at her command, floated into the air majestically behind her. Azil smiled, wishing only that she could throw them into the crowd and bury this whole mockery under the earth, but the Crusader's magics prevented such fun. Instead, she simply clapped her hands, sending one of the rocks spiraling at the robot.
The Foe Reaper did not move, as it had no need to, its eyes gleam flickering as the shape of the boulder was detected. Clockwork spun in its barrel, calculating speed and mass and the terminus of impact. An optimal punchcard slid into the correct slot, and an engine whirred into life.
"Overdrive engine activated."
The robot's arms extended, claws gleaming as the upper body began to rotate, faster and faster, blurring into a vortex as its heavy legs cycled into a thumping sprint, rushing past the crashing boulder with barely an inch to spare. Azil's mocking laugh faded, and she raised an eyebrow. "Luck." She hurled another boulder, her fingers crackling with eldritch energies as she arced this one hard, pulling upon the energies of the earth. The robot continued spinning, in an erratic whirling dance, and somehow managed to avoid this shard of the earth as well, its claws grazing sparks off this boulder before it spun clear of the shattering impact. Sweat began to trickle down Azil's forehead, her mocking smile fading to a snarl of fury, as she bore her concentration down ferociously, refusing to be bested by a machine. The last dripping crumbling fist of earth launched in a sharp vicious arc as the robot's heavy overdrive spring finally began to wound down. Clockwork clicked and the Foe Reaper came to a dead stop suddenly, just a few feet from where the rock crashed to the earth in front of it. Azil gasped, her shield flickering as the magic she had expended in the attack caught up with her, and sank to the floor. Behind her, lava seethed and cooled into obsidian from where she had ripped the living earth free. Before her, the Foe Reaper swung its claws in a vicious arc, shattering the cracking boulder half-buried in the earth in front of it, and moved through with an eerie jittering mechanical grace.
"Target acquired."
The fiery eyes blazed, and Azil gasped, beginning to backpedal. Her slippered feet slid on the rough floor of the coliseum, and she could feel the heat of the lava she had called behind her, as hot as the breath of Deathwing. Sweat ran down her face freely as the robot moved forward, its claws gleaming.
"NO!" She cried, and brought her hands up, twisted into a grasp beseeching at the sky. Radiant violet energy, as dark as the night, seeped through the earth at the robot's feet. Foe Reaper 5000 did not look down. Robots can't look down. It did, however, stop in its tracks, caught by the gravitic pull of the earth magic. Azil panted, making sure the robot was snared, and then laughed. "Here is what I think of your toy, Fordring!" She cried out, defiance and arrogance returning to her voice as the Foe Reaper spun, its claws sparking and screws beginning to loosen as its local gravity increased a hundredfold, the groan of metal accompanying its slowing turns.
"Master, a sacrifice for you!" She cried, exalted with the dark fury of Deathwing as she thrust her fist out, catching the robot in a fist of that same dark energy. The iron grip of gravity itself wrapped around the Foe Reaper, lifting it up. Screws and bolts popped free and it sparked, the iron oak barrel of its body giving a groaning crunch as it started to stave inwards. One of its fiery eyes flickered. Under the groaning collapse of its heavy chassis and the mocking laughter of the priestess was the sound of soft frantically ticking gears. A gauge spun and a dial inside sprung free. Certain latches were released, and a chemical held in reserve rushed into the engine at the heart of the Foe Reaper. Its eyes blazed a searing crimson, though its voice did not change.
"Safety restrictions offline. Catastrophic system failure imminent."
"It's more than imminent, you clinking, clanking, clattering collection of collagenous junk!" Azil screamed, bearing her will down upon the grip of gravity's force.
The red eyes flashed in binary patterns.
"Cyclonic counterforce calculated."
The robot began to spin, its metals groaning and wood splintering, sparks flying as its overclocked engine forced itself to rotate, claws extending and slashing at the tendrils of violet energy as it spun faster and faster, Azil grinding her teeth as she struggled to hold on.
"You cannot resist he power … given to me … by DEATHWING!"
The robot's spinning hit a peak speed that dropped it free of Azil's manipulation of gravity. The heavy feet landed, and Azil's pool of dark energy dissipated as she gasped for breath, sinking to her knees.
"No …" she moaned, clasping her throbbing head and peering at the steaming, sparking robot, springs boinging with comical sounds inside its battered frame.
"Harvesting servos engaged," Foe Reaper 5000 replied with its traditional wit and verve.
There was a rush of springs and a tortured groan of metal pushed to its limits. Heavy curving claws whirled in a blur and there was a last lingering scream from Azil that faded into some very wet sounds that weren't at all like the threshing of Westfall wheat.
"Target destroyed. Foe Reaper 5000 - shutting down."
Terminal gears clanked into place, and the arms sank, the harvester settling onto its great steaming joints with a hiss of released pressure, until the only sound in the Coliseum was the soft scarlet drip from its quiet claws.
ZodiacDragons Sep 12th 2011 5:48PM
long but well written! Very much enjoyed it.
goldeneye Sep 14th 2011 3:13AM
I agree. Very visceral and.. sumptuous :-)