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10-17-2011 @ 7:44PM
Robin said:"You seem to have more than just a gamer's love for WoW. You have a bit of a problem."I think this is an understatement in the extreme. Others have made the point that the letter-writer has video game addiction, so I won't add to that; what I will say, is I wish you guys would do a Drama Mama's on a very obvious case of video game addiction, in all the ways it can negatively affect you - your health, your social life, your school work, your professional life. It looks like this guy was getting hit on all sides, and video game addiction is something that probably doesn't get talked about as much as it should, especially with WoW, where I've encountered easily hundreds of people who have been affected by it. (Myself included.)
10-17-2011 @ 8:21PM
Ya know, he could have an addiction, but it frustrates me that so many people are so fast to label this situation as that, in large part because the guy played WoW instead of looking for a job. Maybe most of you haven't lost your jobs, but especially if the guy was the breadwinner, I can tell you that it's an emotional anvil to the head. When my husband lost his job due to layoffs - his coworkers cried when he left, he was not leaving because they wanted him to go - he slept for three days, then played WoW for a solid week. He took a toon from 1 to 80 and raiding (it was Wrath). Does that make him an addict? No, it makes him human. We all hate facing things that are horribly demoralizing, and losing your job is definitely one of those for most people.I'd love people to cut the guy some slack. Did he let his girlfriend down? Definitely. Did he go on to play solid days for weeks after she called him on it? No! He quit, and I can't see why any guy in his position wouldn't be at least a little bitter. He's out of a job, out of a game, has a good girl who's upset with him, and he's probably very disappointed in himself about all those things. Besides, he did the right thing to drop the game, who's giving him credit for that? And it's not like he's writing in saying "Oh noez, I started playing again and she's mad!" He's asking how to step back into something he enjoys and make it a positive experience for him and his partner. What is so wrong with this? I just can't see it.IMO: Kudos guy. You don't need a shrink, you need a hug. If you have as great a girlfriend as it sounds like, I wish you the best. WoW memories can be fun. Know where your line is and do not cross it. Now that you see what you did, know it's wrong, and don't want to go there again, do the right things. Be accountable to her for your time. If you can't do those things, quit again. I'm glad to see you did it once, and I hope that you do a better balancing act this time around.
10-17-2011 @ 10:37PM
@Priestess: if he needs his gf to tell him he's letting WoW playing overwhelm his adult responsibilities, he doesn't need a girlfriend. He needs a babysitter.
10-17-2011 @ 10:47PM
@domenceus: I need my husband to tell me I should be doing the dishes/laundry/vacuuming rather than looking for more cute pets sometimes. Human beings tend to do things they like more than things they don't. If you do whatever you want and ignore nice notices (or possibly ultimatums), you have a problem. If you do it and then do what you're supposed to, you're completely normal.
10-18-2011 @ 1:57AM
Priest, for a large swath of Wrath I was quite legitimately addicted to WoW. On my server alone there were many many others who were like me.I'd be willing to volunteer even if Lisa and Robin want to interview me, if just to get the discussion going. In my experience, it's far more prevalent, in all MMO's, but especially in WoW. Why wow? Because it's just that damn good.I'm quick to label it addiction because I've seen it and lived it. Maybe that's like a former smoker who gets all crazy against other smokers, but I see it. One thing about addiction, in some cases it never goes away. It's as clear as night and day - he's struggling with wow addiction, and that's really the center of his issues.
10-18-2011 @ 9:57AM
@priestess, I agree with you. So many of the responses sound like they missed the fact that he quit altogether to save his relationship, and realizes he was in too deep before. Now that he's had time to think about things, he's realized that the time he spent playing alongside his girl is what he *really* enjoyed, even more so than hardcore raiding. He's also been able to look back and see what kind of damage spending too much time did to him and his relationship.I don't see anything wrong with him wanting to go back and experience the fun of WoW with his girl again. Would they have some fun times leveling through Cata content? Sure! Is it possible to go too far again? Sure. But couldn't the same thing be said about almost any activity? If you're going to restrict your activities to things that you cannot get too sucked into to ruin a relationship, that really doesn't leave much (including watching TV).The thing with WoW is that obviously is it easier to really get sucked in too deep than most other hobbies. But that doesn't necessarily mean that WoW is the problem. You can find the same type of behavior almost anywhere you look.
10-18-2011 @ 12:32PM
@Pyro:I actually agree with the overall point you make: addiction to playing games - the uncontrolable drive to play something when you haven't eaten, slept, gone to work, etc. - is a legitimate problem that needs to be discussed and worked with. It should be talked about. It should be dealt with. But in this exact case, I just don't see it. The guy dropped the game, he was bitter, so he's human. He *did not* sneak behind her back and play more. He didn't text his former guildies all day. He didn't suck at his relationship because WoW was more important. (At least, so I assume since she's still with him and he didn't say he had any further problems.) Presumably, he has a job now. I don't see this guy as having a consuming need to play a game. I see a guy in a bad spot who did a dumb thing. So I just disagree that this is the guy to go all-out "OMG you're totally addicted" on.I'm good if you and others like you want to do a sit-down with Drama Mamas and get the discussion about "addiction" or "problem gaming" moving further along. I have friends to whom I would pass along that post, since they've dropped out of college, lost 40 pounds, and don't seem to see this is a problem while they're busy playing. But let's not go labeling this guy so fast, k?
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