As a raid leader, anger is pretty much the last thing I'll respond with (barring any jack-assery to deliberately mess things up).

Failure is frustrating enough in a game that is played for fun; yelling at somebody isn't going to improve that at all. Instead, I go the tactical route: Why did we wipe? So-and-so was the first to die, what caused that? Healers, were you out of mana? DPS, on the right targets? Tank, did you hit your cooldowns and position the boss correctly?

This isn't a flawless method, of course. Some people won't volunteer that they stood in the fire, especially if they don't know that they did. Others will be quick to accept the blame, since they can be self-critical and just want to move forward rather than standing around pointing fingers.

But I think it works better than throwing a tantrum. And you know what? Sometimes it's just better to go try something else if things aren't working. Having trouble with Rhyolith? Let's go do Alysrazor instead. Hm, we're not having luck here, let's go run Throne of the Four Winds for fun instead.

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