WRUP: WoW Insider's first children's book

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a very important weekend we are about to undertake. Important, you see, because it is the anniversary of Mr. Mathew Genzer McCurley's birth.
Mat's having a birthday party down in New York City this weekend, and I'm driving down to attend. But what's a birthday without presents, right? That's why I've written and illustrated my first-ever children's book, titled Mat's Birthday Wish. And because I figured you'd want to see it, too, I'm giving the book its world premiere right here, tonight, in WRUP.
So, without any further delay: Mat's Birthday Wish.

there was a young boy named Mat.
And today ...
... today was his birthday.

the kids at school were mean to Mat.
"We don't like you, Mat!" said the kids.

He ran home to cry under his bed.
But on the way home,
a mighty figure appeared behind him!

"I hear it is your birthday!"
Mat turned around, surprised.
"My name is Garrosh Hellscream."

I can never forget the atrocities committed by Krom'gar in the Horde's name!
But most importantly ...
I can never forget a birthday."

"On this, the anniversary of your birth,
the mighty Horde shall honor you with one birthday wish!"

"But ... I don't know what to wish for!"
"I do," said Garrosh.

"No," said Mat. "That's a terrible birthday wish."

"Then you wish to plunder your enemies' lumber and see their cities awash in flame?!"
"No," said Mat. "That's not my birthday wish, either!"

What is your one birthday wish?"
"I know," said Mat ...
"A true warchief partners with pizza!"
"Blood and thunder!" said Garrosh.
"That is the finest birthday wish I have ever heard!"

ordering him the finest plain cheese pizza in all the land.

So there you have it. I'll be around in New York City this weekend to do a book signing, and ... oh, wait. This was supposed to be a WRUP, wasn't it? OK, uh ... so yeah, this week's bonus question is this: "What are you getting Mat for his birthday?"
Adam Holisky (@adamholisky) Skyrim. I'm getting Mat a video podcast.
Alex Ziebart (@alexziebart) Skyrim. Send help. Bonus Answer: For McCurley's birthday, I will not terminate his employment. Happy Birthday, Mat.
Anne Stickney (@Shadesogrey) I'm going to be building ALL THE THINGS. And I'm guesting on the Holy Shatt podcast on Friday. And other than that, I don't know exactly! I will find Mat a Squashed Rabbit Carcass for his birthday. Shh, don't tell him!
Also: I totally harnessed the psychic powers of my Twitter followers and made his shoulders drop from Staghelm. :D :D :D
Chase Hasbrouck (@alarondruid) I've been fooling myself into thinking I have good internet again by playing Onlink, a fan update for Uplink.
Bonus: Real Kuwaiti sand.
Daniel Whitcomb (@DanielWhitcomb) I'm probably going to be running some PTR stuff to prepare for future Lichborne columns, mostly, though I also have plans to make some headway on Torchlight. I haven't defeated it yet, so I figure I better get on that before Diablo 3 claims my soul in that particular genre of gaming.
I gave Mat a silly in-joke in last week's Tuesday Morning Post headline.
Dawn Moore (@dawnwow) My bro is getting married (11/11/11 at 11:00 a.m., such a nerd) so I'll probably be relaxing the rest of the weekend. Fortunately, relaxing means playing Ocarina of Time on my Nintendo 3DS. I'm in the Forest Temple right now.
Elizabeth Wachowski (@leeatwaterlives) I would say Skyrim, but I'm working all weekend at the only EMS station without an HDTV. So ... Final Fantasy 4 and Chrono Trigger on the DS at night, and then Skyrim and sleep during the day.
For his birthday I give Mat this heart, which I looted from a kobold.
Fox Van Allen (@foxvanallen) (gplus.to/foxvanallen) On Saturday, I'll be driving down to New York City to hang out with my good friends Mat McCurley and help him celebrate his birthday. And yes, I will be handing him the physical copy of this children's book I wrote for him. Happy birthday, Mat-hew.
Joe Perez (@lodurzj) SW:TOR beta, my account for steam seems to be pretty jacked up and hoping to recover it in time to actually be able to log in and play some Skyrim. As far as what I got Mat for his day of birf, well I got him a vacation package where he will be taken care of by the nation's top men ... Top.... men.... (sorry, watching a lot of indie right now).
Kelly Aarons (@Cadistra) As the only person on earth who's not playing Skyrim, I'm going to be catching up on art because ... I START MY NEW JOB ON MONDAY YAAAAAY! /kermit flail
Mat McCurley (@gomatgo) (gplus.to/gomatgo) This weekend, I'm playing the Where is Fox Van Allen sleeping in my house? game, coupled with League of Legends and Eat all of the leftover food from the party. For some reason I've been addicted to archaeology in WoW lately, and I can't stop. I think I hate myself. Anyway, fun times. I will be getting myself Cuban food for my birthday.
Matt Low (@matticus) Got a Star Wars: The Old Republic beta invite for the weekend. This is the same weekend Skyrim comes out. I also have Battlefield 3 and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. Heroes of Might and Magic 6 is still on my games to beat. Too many games to play!
Matthew Rossi (@matthewrossi) What I'm playing is also my birthday present: I'm kidnapping McCurley and stitching him and me into a two-headed ogre.
Matt Walsh (@Rhidach) I DON'T KNOW. I preordered Skyrim, I was invited to the SW:TOR testing period this weekend, and I'm getting a puppy on Sunday. First world problem if there ever was one! I guess I'm just going to run from room to room, giving exactly 33% of my time to each of the three. It seems only fair.
Mike Sacco (@mikesacco) Not Skyrim. Skyrim.
Robin Torres (@cosmiclaurel) Tiny Tower, Sims Social, my blood elf mage and SW:TOR beta. For Mat, I am gifting him this video. Actually, it's a regift, but don't tell him.
Tyler Caraway (@murmursofadruid) I'll be finishing up some Heroes of Might and Magic 6, I've got some SW:TOR Beta to get into, I also need to finish up a massive write-up that I've been working on as a deep numbers pass for the Diablo 3 beta. Fun times to be had all around, to be sure. I've got Skyrim coming in, but I think I'll have to put off actually getting into it for a while with everything else that I've got going on. Curse gaming companies for releasing everything at once! Oh ... ummm ... I got Mat this sweet ... ummm ... Battle.net authenticator.
Filed under: WoW Insider Business






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Mathew McCurley Nov 11th 2011 10:04PM
oh my god
Fox Van Allen Nov 11th 2011 10:28PM
My favorite Mat McCurley reaction to this was when I showed him the panel showing a burning Ashenvale and he said,
"Fuck those night elves."
Kylenne Nov 11th 2011 10:32PM
Happy Birthday! And please let me know where the hell you've managed to find decent Cuban food in this town. That's not the kind of thing a good person keeps to himself.
Mathew McCurley Nov 11th 2011 10:39PM
I am a big fan of Sophie's.
Task Nov 11th 2011 11:04PM
@Mat
Happy birfday!!!! I would have given you bbq pork on skewers but Fox ate them all...
/sad pandaren face
Dawn Moore Nov 12th 2011 12:28AM
Happy Birthday Mat! I hope you'll still be able to make it to MLG Providence so I can give you the birthday present I got you! =D
Skarn Nov 11th 2011 10:06PM
A-freaking-mazing.
Happy Birthday, Mat!
razion Nov 11th 2011 10:09PM
The world needs more WoW-based Children's Books. Clearly.
ravyncat Nov 12th 2011 11:59AM
It does!
Awesome book, Fox.
I hope you have a great birthday too, Mat. ^^
Hugh Cruickshank Nov 11th 2011 10:10PM
Great story, and happy birthday Mat.
Hih Nov 11th 2011 10:09PM
For being plain cheese pizza, the stuff looks awfully red, or, cheeseless. It also has stuff that looks suspiciously like peperoni.
And is he flipping us all off in that last panel? That finger looks awfully... in the middle of his hand and not on the side where his thumb would be if he were giving us a thumbs up.
Noyou Nov 11th 2011 10:12PM
Where is the "ding" after Deathwing nuked him in panel 5??
Shade Nov 11th 2011 11:13PM
1) It's a contrast issue. Fox expertly chose his color palette to mind control you (as priests are wont to do from time to time), but the one side effect is that the yellow background makes everything else appear too red. It's like how toothpaste is green/blue/white so your teeth always look nastier while you're brushing. Crest must be run by a priest. Also, the "pepperoni" is actually an assortment of orange gems because face it - the only way Garrosh ended up looking like that is too much str/crit.
2) In yet another mind trick, the slightly ambiguous finger is a self-segregation mechanism. If you don't notice it, you're mind controlled enough that Fox can ignore you. If you do, Fox has depicted Mat as flicking you off as a pictorial promise that he will someday eliminate you.
Xantenise Nov 11th 2011 10:10PM
Best. Birthday present. Ever.
Noyou Nov 11th 2011 10:10PM
Cute. Happy Birthday Mat- Do have a good time and be safe!
Fiorna Nov 11th 2011 11:08PM
This is so awesome. Happy birthday, Mat!
Bellajtok Nov 11th 2011 10:11PM
Fox, you hereby officially win all the internets and every "awesomeness" award ever. I laughed. I cried. I lay down and died. And then the awesomeness of this book brought me back as a reading zombie. It's a pretty good book.
Minstrel Nov 11th 2011 10:25PM
That was amazing. Truly.
Andrew Kothmann Nov 11th 2011 10:26PM
Happy Birthday Mat! Don't let Rossi pull a human centipede on you.
RS Nov 11th 2011 10:27PM
That was great! Happy birthday!