Drama Mamas: When "just friends" intrudes on love

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

11-14-2011 @ 2:40PM

busuan said...

Robby,
In addition to "Love", there is something called "Limerence". (Whether it actually exists is still being debated.) It could happen to any one of any age, any gender. Why it happens is up to debate. Anyway, the difference is when you are in love, you know you are in love. But when you are in limerence, you don't really know that except you don't feel quite the same as being in love. The trouble is limerence is fluidic; you may recognize it at one moment and lose it the next moment. People with heavy MMO and online social networking activities tend to caution themselves for facile feelings and restrain themselves accordingly. However, that takes a disciplined mind, which is the fruit of experience.
This is a critical learning time for your girlfriend. To allow her making some mistakes would be better than building a wall around her. Just watch out for her as you are doing while she's exploring her new worlds both in life and online.

Best,
"Limeranced"

11-14-2011 @ 3:17PM

The Dewd said...

I have an ex-girlfriend (from highschool) who told me about limerance. She said that she basically, in highschool, decided that we needed to start dating. After a long while, (on the order of months, not days or weeks) it was suddenly gone and she broke up with me. She didn't really have a reason or explanation - it was just that the limerance (not that either of us knew the word at the time) was gone and she didn't need to be in love with me anymore. That was, admittedly, over 20 years ago and we're still friends and we're both married to other people. She recently discovered the name limerance and read some book about it. She actually sent me a copy of it and it's in the stack of books I'm working on reading.

11-14-2011 @ 7:55PM

Pyromelter said...

limerence is a bitch. been through that too. worst part of it is there is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent it.

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