Phat Loot Phriday: Stitches' Stitchings
by Michael Gray 
Nov 18th 2011 at 1:00PM
The three rode into Darkshire in a cloud of dust and ash. The town was burning; even the sky glowed with an angry, orange light. Throgg leapt from the back of his mount, snatching a thick cloth from the ground.
"I know that cape," the Gilnean growled. He still wore his human form. "Those are some of Stitches' Stitchings. Nice for starting casters, but horrible for grammarians."
"No time," Throgg waved the comment away. He unslung a massive axe from his back, stalking toward the town quickly. Lolegolas bounced behind him, stringing his bow as he walked. They didn't make it before a human guard stopped them.
"Horde!" the human screamed. "Stay where you are. We are under attack, and no Horde will ... "
"Hold on," the druid said. The Gilnean made a show of patting himself down. "What in the name Elune? Do I look like a troll or something? Or do these fools just go blind when a monster is around?"
The druid barely finished speaking when a human sailed over the nearest building, landing a few dozen yards from the group. He hit the ground with a loud thump.
"We have to go!" Throgg yelled. "Miranda will be in there. I can feel it. Throgg will smash, tonight!"
The human guard brandished his sword again. "You will not pass. Horde has done enough damage here."
The group tried to dodge past the man, but the guard shuffled quickly to keep blocking them. The trio could at least see into the town. The undead monstrosity Stitches lumbered in town, sweeping its massive cleaver from left to right.
"You notice that your own men are dying," Lolegolas commented dryly.
Before the human could respond Stitches bellowed even louder. A small child ran out of the inn. No more than four years old, the small boy screamed and fell to the ground when Stitches whirled around on him.
"Oh, bloody hell," the Gilnean cursed. "This is about to get horrible."
Stitches' Stitchings
- Type Back, so it's a cloak
- Armor 34
- Stamina 5
- Intellect 4
How to get rid of it You can sell it for 6 silver and 59 copper. It could also turn into a Small Glimmering Shard.
Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Filed under: Phat Loot Phriday
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Ves Nov 18th 2011 1:16PM
You forgot to mention the most important details. What colour and how long are this cloak?
tgrhwke Nov 18th 2011 2:14PM
Click the link to the item in the beginning of the story to see it's screenshot.
Revynn Nov 18th 2011 2:27PM
Whoooooooooosh
Davio Nov 18th 2011 2:33PM
You need to see this, I think:
http://www.wowhead.com/item=13397/stoneskin-gargoyle-cape
SNBL Nov 18th 2011 1:53PM
Poor stitches, killed over and over and over for a lousy cloak.
http://www.baltimoreclinicaltrials.com/
Dboy Nov 18th 2011 2:01PM
Nice touch at the start... How many Stitcheses are there? Clever commentary on MMO mob respawns maybe?
Gimmlette Nov 18th 2011 2:47PM
I'll come off as a curmudgeon, I know, but I remember when you called Stitches via the long quest chain through Raven Hill. It was so exasperating because we didn't have a mount then and the embalmer kept making us go back into town to talk to someone else who then would send us back to the cemetery. But, that was an epic quest line. It would not be bad at all to do now with the FP at Raven Hill.
I can still see, in my mind's eye, the town crier, walking the road announcing Stitches imminent arrival. I don't remember what he did if he ever got into town. I always stopped him on the road. He dropped "Stitches femur", a bone-shaped mace.
Raven Hill used to be one of my favorite spots in vanilla. Mor'Ladim, a level 36 elite, roamed the graveyard and seemed to smell you the second you walked in. I died to him so many times. When I could finally solo him, then I felt I knew how to play. I really do miss those kinds of things.
djsuursoo Nov 18th 2011 3:48PM
(back in 3.x) when he got to town bad crap went down. sometimes the guards would hold him off. sometimes not. if not, he could go on a rampage and basically murder every single person in town.
him even reaching town was considered failing the quest.
i saw him smoosh a level 55 warrior once without even slowing down. he must have been one of the toughest elites, for level, in the game.
Thatacus Nov 18th 2011 3:54PM
Not to mention that the Cataclysm now moved him to Beggar's Haunt now so it's a short distance to walk to him now. So even if you have to run back and forth to do his grocery shopping for him, you don't have to run the whole zone anymore.
Sleutel Nov 18th 2011 7:01PM
Sometimes I feel as though Duskwood and STV were initially designed the way they were just so those of us who started playing in vanilla and TBC could tell crotchety "back in my day" stories to the people who picked up the game in Wrath and Cata.
Harvoc Nov 18th 2011 11:02PM
I posted a post just like yours on the previous Phat Loot Friday. Good times. Too bad I didn't keep his femur on any of my characters...
poggg Nov 19th 2011 12:30AM
Ahhhh, damn it, this is like a cereal commercial story. WILL LUCKY EVER GET THOSE CHARMS BACK? KEEP WATCHING OUR COMMERCIALS TO FIND OUT.
Only with better writing, less cereal, and more awesome.