Phat Loot Phriday: Lightning Rod

Throgg panted, his bloody axe dangling limply in his hand. Stitches lay in pieces around the orc. Entrails and bloody bits made the center of Darkshire look like a butcher's yard.
"We're not done here yet," Miranda shouted. She leaned out an inn door, pointing up the road. Undead still shambled toward the town. Flashes of moonfire lit up the road, and burning shafts streaked in the air. Lolegolas and the Gilnean held the flow of zombies back, but they couldn't do it forever.
"We need to talk about how you know my name," Throgg muttered.
"That's what I do," Miranda quipped. She quickly jumped out of the door. Bizarrely, Throgg noticed she was barefoot. "You're late. Something delayed you ... "
"Brewfest," Throgg explained.
"Whatever," the human girl continued. "You were late, so Abercrombie has been very busy. He made a deal with Sylvanas."
"The Dark Lady?" the orc gasped. "The leader of the Forsaken?"
"No, the puppy," Miranda derided. "Look, long story short, he's got a valkyr helping him. Your friends can stall the zombies long enough, but we need to go kill the valkyr."
"I don't mean to sound negative," Throgg said, "but you're asking for a lot from me on faith."
"Isn't that why you're here?" the girl countered. She stood perfectly still, staring at the orc with eyes unafraid. Her hair was dark, and she didn't come up to Throgg's shoulders. But she didn't flinch away from his axe. Instead, she reached out and took his hand. "Give to me. You're hurt, and we have a long way to go. Won't help if you bleed to death on the way."
"I'm not leaving Lolegolas again," the orc said. "Let me go get him. He's my ..."
Miranda held up her hands, waving them frantically. "No spoilers, that's the rule. I'm only allowed to help, but if we go giving things away, I'm going to be in a lot of trouble. But don't worry. He'll understand. Not at first, but I'll sigh at him with big eyes, and he'll be fine. Come on, we have to go now."
She hefted a large staff from the ground and draped it across her shoulder. It was clearly a humongous Lightning Rod.
"It's a staff from Dragon Soul," Miranda said when she saw Throgg's expression. "What, did you think I just sat here waiting for you men to show up?"
Lightning Rod
- Type: Staff
- Stamina: 646
- Intellect: 411
- Socket: 1 red
- Socket Bonus: 10 intellect
- Equip: Increases your hit rating by 266
- Equip: Increases your haste rating by 280
- Equip: Increases spellpower by 2,467
How to get rid of it: You can sell it for 46 gold, 57 silver, and 17 copper. Alternatively, simply disenchant it into a Maelstrom Crystal.
Filed under: Phat Loot Phriday






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Dan Dec 2nd 2011 10:08AM
"He's my...one true love" is obviously what Throgg was going to say about Lolegolas.
ravyncat Dec 2nd 2011 10:09AM
"He's my...."
XD!!! We all know, Throgg. ^^
Very interesting. Could Miranda perhaps be a member of the Bronze Dragonflight? Hmmm.
A weird random healer from a different time? A psychic?
I am liking the plot between Sylvanas and Abercrombie. Why would she agree to give that guy Valkyrs? O.o
Dragon Dec 2nd 2011 10:16AM
I think your onto something about Miranda being a bronze. This is getting interesting
Skarn Dec 2nd 2011 1:58PM
"Getting interesting?" Phat Loot Phriday passed that point months ago! :)
Maribel Dec 2nd 2011 5:39PM
Hmm, a bronze dragonflight link would explain a lot. I guess the humans in Westfall don't have to be her relatives.
Maribel Dec 2nd 2011 10:09PM
Actually, I think she probably is actually a human: http://wow.joystiq.com/2011/10/28/phat-loot-phriday-restored-archeus/
She just sees through the fourth wall, or the monitor, or what have you. Handy, now that the other characters are pretty much permanently IC.
Nagaina Dec 2nd 2011 10:13AM
You know, just when I thought I couldn't love this column more, you introduce a metatextual character with my own true name. ^_^
datgrl Dec 2nd 2011 10:54AM
sigh..... I want to see this in a book. Or at least something like 'You Awaken In Razor Hill'.
With pictures and everything.
Zaet Dec 2nd 2011 10:58AM
Didnt weapons in RF only drop from deathwing?
KataSamoes Dec 2nd 2011 12:12PM
No, Deathwing will only drop weapons. Not the other way around.
Sorro Dec 2nd 2011 11:20AM
It would be nice if the phat loot itself got the wowhead link above the jump. Better yet, put all the stat stuff above the jump and the story following.
albanesp Dec 2nd 2011 11:22AM
On my first toon (Orc Warlock) I came across a group all from the same horde guild.
One of them cast a spell on me (Divine Intervention I think), which froze my lowly 20 something level toon in place for 3 minutes (this was about 2 years ago btw). While I sat their trying to figure out what the hell happened, they rode away laughing at me.
Little did I know that you could simply right click on the buff to deactivate it so I sat their for 3 minutes waiting for it to wear off.
Sigh :-)
albanesp Dec 2nd 2011 11:42AM
whoops, meant to post this in the Breakfast topic. Pretty funny though right?
lady.silverdragon Dec 2nd 2011 11:35AM
I would love to see either some sort of mega-post or a link to a page where the whole story (at least up to a certain point) was presented together for reading convenience. I have been enjoying this story, and I know I will want to re-read all the installments.
Thomas Higgins Dec 2nd 2011 12:41PM
Agreed. With illustrations by Cadychan, please.
Jessica Dec 5th 2011 7:54AM
This will help: http://wow.joystiq.com/category/phat-loot-phriday/
Aldarion Dec 2nd 2011 1:47PM
Spoilers?
A seemingly all-knowing female character?
I'm sensing some Doctor Who vibes flowing in. And that's not a bad thing.
Fletcher Dec 2nd 2011 5:26PM
I'm getting River Tam vibes.
Thomas Higgins Dec 3rd 2011 8:01AM
Nope. That is definitely River Song when she was still a babby and still regenerating. She had to have something to do whilst her mummy and daddy were growing up to be old enough to talk to. 8-)
Azeroth would be a perfect place to start her adventuring/time travelling career.
lady.silverdragon Dec 5th 2011 8:19AM
While it is certainly possible to open each post and read it using the category link, having them together would make it easier to read all at once (especially on my mobile device)