Phat Loot Phriday: Arrowflick Gauntlets
by Michael Gray 
Dec 9th 2011 at 4:00PM
"So, that's him," Throgg said. He sprawled beneath some bushes above Darkshire. Even the normally unsubtle orc couldn't believe Abercrombie couldn't see the hiding spot. After all, orcs wielding immense axes and rippling thews aren't know for their stealth. "Abercrombie. The man raining destruction down on Darkshire. And we're going to kill his valkyr."
"Thanks, Exposition Lad," Miranda muttered. She looked much more comfortable under the bush, her chin resting on her forearms. "The thing should be back around shortly. Can't miss her. Big wings, impressive stature inspiring inappropriate thoughts, tendency to raise the dead."
"You're talking fast and using big words to confuse me," Throgg replied.
"Uh," Miranda muttered, "sure. If that's what you think. What's the plan here, big guy?"
Throgg blinked. "Wait, when did I become the plan guy? Lolegolas is the plan guy. I'm the big axe and massive arms guy. Throgg smash."
"I guess we need to stick with our core strengths here," Miranda sighed. "OK. Let's think this through."
The girl was interrupted by a bright, white glow and the unmistakable feeling of being tapped on the shoulder by a sword. Miranda sighed and rolled over, looking up at the floating valkyr behind them.
"How does this happen? How does a glowing woman sneak up in the complete dark? It makes no sense," Miranda complained. "You know, this isn't going to go well for you."
The valkyr didn't respond. Instead, her lips peeled back in a pleased grimace. The creature's teeth shone sharp, pointed like a cat's. Just as it looked as if she was going to speak, an arrowhead erupted from her chest. The valkyr stumbled forward as more shafts flew through the night. The creature fell to the ground.
Lolegolas stalked toward Throgg, vibrating with anger. The orc stood quickly, lifting his hands as he prepared an explanation. Throgg didn't get a word out before the blood elf slipped off his Arrowflick Gauntlets and decked Throgg in the jaw.
Arrowflick Gauntlets
- Type Mail hands
- Armor 1,739
- Agility 341
- Stamina 542
- Sockets 1 red
- Socket bonus 10 agility
- Item level 397
- Equip Increases your critical strike rating by 239
- Equip Increases your mastery rating by 221
How to get rid of it You can sell them for 11 gold, 28 silver, and 89 copper. They'll presumably disenchant into a Maelstrom Crystal, but if you bought them in the first place, you're not likely to do that.
Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing mikeg@wowinsider.com.
Filed under: Phat Loot Phriday
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Nagaina Dec 9th 2011 4:35PM
Man, the apology for doing the going off alone thing again had best be EPIC.
Ianmis Dec 9th 2011 4:45PM
"as he prepared and explanation."
Sry, and to be fair, I do it all the time, too. ;)
Michael Gray Dec 9th 2011 4:54PM
Thanks! Fixed! Happens to the best of us.
monotype Dec 9th 2011 4:55PM
Ooh, somebody's going to have to buy a lot of hair gel to apologize for doing the whole "running off by himself, not even a note, not even a /wave, you orcs and your me-smash-first-me-no-have-communication-skills approach to interpersonal conduct" thing again.
Dragon Dec 9th 2011 4:57PM
Miranda will "sigh at him with big eyes, and he'll be fine."
we hope
Cricket Dec 9th 2011 5:32PM
That's the kind of punch you only use on orcs you love. And the making-up is usually worth it ;D
Mortenebra Dec 9th 2011 7:36PM
I'll have to keep that in mind the next time my husband gets me mad. (He plays an orc warrior and I play a blood elf hunter, so it's a perfect correlation!) \:D/
ravyncat Dec 9th 2011 7:27PM
Oh dear,,,Throgg is in trouble. XD
So if Miranda really knows everything that will happen, why was she surprised the valkyr sneaked up on them? Or did she "hide" in that crappy obvious spot because she knew that it would attract those more observant than mad Abercrombie? @_@
Her use of "Exposition Lad" makes me think she is more seeing past fourth wall as someone suggested last week than a dragon. Boo! Still, Miranda is interesting.
Why is she deliberately provoking a fight between our boys? Because it seems she should have predicted that too.
Andrew Dec 12th 2011 2:14AM
That's the thing, she clearly *isn't* surprised that they were sneaked up upon, she seems more exasperated that it was allowed to happen from her sighing and complaining. She seems like Nozzie in the DS raid, keeping his mouth shut until an event either happens or becomes unavoidable, and I love it!
Ctmcstomperq Dec 9th 2011 7:39PM
Is it just me, or is this more interesting than quite a bit of what blizz has been putting out lately?
ravyncat Dec 9th 2011 8:20PM
It's because all the characters are likeable. *nods*
I am more invested in the tale of Throgg and Lolegalas and Not!Spot than with Deathwing or my Faction leaders for sure.
Dementron Dec 9th 2011 10:29PM
...
It's sad, but true. I get more excited about these little tidbits of fiction than I do about much of the WoW storyline. Most of the main characters in the latter are either not very likable or do nothing of interest. I love Thrall, but he bailed on the Horde. I love Saurfang but he's gone into retirement. I love Vol'jin, but he hasn't gotten around to putting an arrow through Garrosh like he promised. (C'mon man, all I want for Christmas is Hellscream's head on a pike, is that so hard?)
Throgg, Lolegolas, NotSpot, and now Miranda, however, continue to bring joy to my embittered heart (and not just because Throgg and Lolegolas are so very, very shippable).
Boobah Dec 9th 2011 10:26PM
It doesn't hurt that our heroes here are acting at a normal level; they're not trying for statecraft or anything. They're just some people trying to do the right thing.
Dementron Dec 9th 2011 10:33PM
Something I've been wondering, is Throgg still supposed to be a death knight? I remember him being described as such near the beginning when I was rereading the story part of the column, but I always think of him more as a (living) warrior. He just doesn't seem like the undead type to me.
Maribel Dec 10th 2011 2:10AM
Pretty sure he's been retconned to warrior - he's sported shields a couple of times.
detailbear Dec 11th 2011 2:59AM
Q: Wasn't he a Death Knight?
A: He got better.
LOL