Drama Mamas: Legendary drama
by Robin Torres 
Dec 12th 2011 at 1:00PM
We have two letters this week -- both about legendaries. The first letter is below, and the second letter and our responses are after the break.
Dear Drama Mamas,
I've been thinking a lot about taking a long break from WoW recently since I have almost no interest in playing. The problem is I'm an officer in an active raiding guild and also the only person in the guild close to getting the legendary staff. The only reason I've been playing lately has been to finish the staff for many guild. It'll take me only 2 weeks of doing a full clear to complete it so the guild will get the achievement and pet; however the other officers are too interested in the new 4.3 content to do anything in Firelands, inculding work on the legendary staff.
I'd really like to quit wow without burning any bridges or upsetting my long time guild mates, but I feel that if I quit with a 95% complete legenday I will be a considered a big jerk.
Thanks for any advice you can give me.
Burned Out
Drama Mama Robin: Burned, you're going to have to come clean to your fellow officers, though they probably have already detected your burnout. There are definitely going to be some hard feelings and probably some nasty things said, but there's no way to get around that. Just don't get defensive or testy. I recommend being humble and apologetic, while still being firm with your resolve. Offer them a choice: They can either let you go now and continue on with their 4.3 fun, or they can take a break, get you the legendary (and the goodies for the guild) and then let you go. Here is an example of what to say:
I'm really sorry, but I have to take an extended break from WoW that may be permanent. I know that I'm close to getting the legendary and that makes me feI have said this many times before, but your leisure time is supposed to be stress-free and a way to recharge for your responsibilities. If WoW is no longer doing that for you, you can't continue playing just for others. Good luck.el really bad, but we're not getting any closer lately because of 4.3. Do you want me to hang around and we'll switch to Firelands for a couple of weeks so the guild can get the pet and the achievement? Or would you rather I leave now? I will do whatever you decide. Again, I apologize, but I just can't go on right now.
Drama Mama Lisa: Hey Robin, that's a big ol' cop-out of taking responsibility for this decision -- and you're absolutely right! I agree. Burned, the decision in the situation lies with your guild, not with you. Follow Robin's excellent advice and let the guild figure out if they'd like to make this happen before you leave or not. Then follow the "before you leave" part of the equation and head out to greener pastures. Happy trails, whether they lead back to Azeroth or beyond!
Hi Mamas,
I'm an officer in a casual raiding guild that's 6/7 normal as of the launch of 4.3. My guild is full of great people who I've come to consider part of my on-line family. As a druid, I keep raid-quality gear for tanking, healing, and spell dps, though my heart truly lies in my feathery form. When 4.2 hit, I was to be the first in our guild to begin the legendary quest-chain, and it was going pretty good during the summer, even though our progress was slow at the start as we learned the fights. by summer's end, my rl schedule changed so that I was unavailable to run one of the two nights my guild does progression raiding, and the 2nd in line (who is also an officer) began to progress further along than me in the legendary, to the point where I was formally informed by my guild leader that I was being taken down as lead until the other guy got through the phase we were both in. Naturally I was upset, though not surprised, as most of the progression was occurring on the first night anyway, I was pretty much locked out of token collection already.
So it went, the other guy got on into the next phase and I was put back on first dibs for the phase I was on, for the night I could run with the guild.
Then 4.3 hit.
The day after Dragon Soul hit the servers, it was announced in guild channels that progression runs would be changed to two days I am actually able to run with the guild on. Then it was announced that Firelands runs would remain on the night I was unavailable. Our other non-progression night, for entry level raid runs remained the same, also on a night I was available to run on. When I found out I was furious with my gm and the other officers. It felt like I was being completely overlooked, that after constant reminders that I am not available on that one day, they still chose to effectively lock me out of guild runs for that instance, and have yet to hear an explanation as to why that night remains the same, or even why the newbie night is still set to run t11 instances when you can gear up all you need in the new 4.3 5mans. I posed the question in O-chat - trying to keep as civil as possible - as to who the new secondary legendary guy was going to be. Nobody had the answer to that.
Now my problem.
I'm feeling extremely resentful towards my guild, to the point where I don't like logging on to WoW for more than a dungeon run. I feel like I'd been shoved - ever so gently - off to the side and forgotten. I know I should be pleased that I'll be able to run DS with the guild both nights now, but I was really looking forward to getting dragonwrath while it was still viable. Yes, I know it's petty and selfish, but I'm finding it very hard to let go of the disappointment and frustration I'm feeling regarding the situation and I don't know how to express my feelings in such a way as to not cause unnecessary drama. I just want to this resolved, within the guild and/or within myself. Any assistance you can provide would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Ruffled Feathers
Drama Mama Robin: Incoming harshness. You have been warned.Ruffled, it's not all about you. Your schedule changed, and you want the other nine or more guildies to change the raid schedule to fit your needs. I recommend you get over your negative feelings and raid the nights you can. Your loyalty and hard work will help you get good things the next time your schedule in the physical world changes. Sulking and only logging on for dungeon runs is a good way to get behind everyone else and maybe even get you kicked. I sincerely doubt you will be able to find another guild that has a raiding schedule exactly matching yours. But even if you do, your schedule may change again, leaving you in the same position you are now.
It's not them -- it's you. Please let go of your disappointment and frustration and enjoy the fact that you are in a successful raiding guild with a spot on the first team.
Drama Mama Lisa: Ah, the revolving door of upgrades strikes again. It's hard to get everything for everyone when the content moves so quickly, isn't it? Think how the guild members who weren't first or second in line must feel to realize that they'll probably never get a chance to even begin such a quest!
Ruffled, you weren't set aside in any way; it's the outdated content that was. As Robin notes, this was a scheduling call. The best you can hope for right now is to get your name pushed back to the top of the line if your schedule should ever line up with Firelands raiding night again. It's all up to you and your schedule.
In the meantime, I'm going to just mosey back over here and sit down in the back row while I pull on my handy-dandy Gauntlets of the Hands-On Officers ... Ahhh, here we go. Now, let me just wonder: As an officer, where were you when this decision was being considered? Does your guild regularly make decisions with guild-wide ramifications without input from the entire leadership group? How could your guild work to gather more input from all the officers to help ensure future decisions about scheduling are tangle-free?
Good luck to you and your guild in the content ahead!
Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with a little help and insight from the Drama Mamas. Remember, your mama wouldn't want to see your name on any drama. Play nice ... and when in doubt, ask the Drama Mamas at robin@wowinsider.com.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Guilds, Drama Mamas
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
Oteo Dec 12th 2011 1:12PM
Granted, I don't raid so I don't know exactly how legendaries work, but... would it be possible for you to join up with another guild (but NOT leaving yours) one night just to help them out with Firelands and finish up your staff, while still doing progression raiding with your own guild?
Jeff (Not that one ^ ) Dec 12th 2011 1:20PM
Getting Terecgosa completed awards a Guild Achievement and unlocks a minipet. Changing guilds would complete the quests, but for the other guild, not his long-time guild.
loli.gigis Dec 12th 2011 1:23PM
He said not changing guilds, plus one is already finished so the acheivement isn't a big deal.
Astoreth Dec 12th 2011 1:47PM
Yes, assuming no one else in that guild is also at the same stage in the staff progression. I've gone with a friend's guild a couple of times when my regular raid was cancelled. You can also pug it.
mitch_b_666 Dec 12th 2011 1:57PM
The only issue there is that the guild you tag along with might also have someone on the same stage of the quest as you.
This is a problem I'm having at the moment, being 93/250 on the final stage, with my guild not particularly interested in running Firelands any more. However, any attempts to join up with another guild's runs on the server are foiled due to many people being on the same stage as me.
Kuro Dec 12th 2011 2:30PM
> However, any attempts to join up with another guild's runs on the server are foiled due to many people being on the same stage as me.
Get whatever manpower from your current guild (tank and heals are helpful) and lead the pug yourself. Form an alt run, form a fun drunken pug run. If you want legendaries, you have to work for them sometimes.
Push, beg, lead, pug while the content's semi-current. You're going to be hardpressed to find people to run FL after MoP comes out.
Imnick Dec 12th 2011 1:15PM
I can't really sympathise with the druid, surely running progression DS on days you can make for the rest of the expansion is far more important than doing Firelands until you get your staff and then only being able to raid one day a week for the rest of the expansion?
Dragonwrath may well be BiS but there are other weapons, and you can always finish it in a PUG.
karatesmashunhurt Dec 14th 2011 9:09AM
I have a little sympathy because getting a legendary is really cool, and he's been aching to get it for a long time and it feels like it's been snatched away. But as other comments say there are other ways of getting the staff, he just has to just put in more work on it (Legendaries are legendary for a reason).
But yes! If you're a raider then the progression of your group should matter more to you than a single item, even if it is a legendary. The fact that the guild picked the two nights he's available to be the progression nights may well be because he's a valuable part of the team.
DracoSuave Dec 12th 2011 1:19PM
Agreed with regards to the second letter.
The thing is, the guild's willing to do what it can to help get the first staff done. By the time you're going to be on the last leg, FL will have no more upgrades for the other 9 people in there. Which means the only reason to run it is for some macguffins to put a staff together; is this worth 3+ hours a week for 9 other people?
This isn't even counting the problem that you're going to have to kill Ragnaros eventually to get that stick. No Rag Kill, no stick, ever. For anyone.
Lowering you in priority was absolutely the right decision; after all the progression only occurs if the one at the front is the one being progressed.
As for raid nights? Fact is, primary raid nights go to the primary progression raid. A legendary requires a LARGE investment of time, something you cannot do. It's not the guild's fault. Just accept that.
Jeff (Not that one ^ ) Dec 12th 2011 1:21PM
Burned Out sounds like someone from my guild. :O
loli.gigis Dec 12th 2011 1:22PM
To the second letter, why haven't you suggested a night that you can raid to do an alt group? Maybe there are others that would like to gear up their alts in T12 to eventually do DS on them as well. Your other option is to start pugging it. It's going to take more work but you can sometimes find guild groups with no one on your part of the quest. Plus you might learn some tactics you can then take back to your guild that would help you become 7/7 normal.
The last option is to find a guild that raids at the times you are available. Things happen, life changes but you can't expect everyone to change along with you. While it's normal to feel disappointed you shouldn't be taking it out on them unless there is a malicious reason behind their decision. If there is it might be better to respectively leave the guild and find a new one.
Nina Katarina Dec 12th 2011 1:27PM
Our prime staffholder is 5-6 weeks from finishing the staff, but he's burned out. Solidly. Completely. Doesn't want to set foot in Firelands again. We've tried talking him into it, we've tried showing him that other people still need stuff from there and it wouldn't be that much effort, but he just doesn't want to do it.
I'm a little hurt. I so want that little dragon pet. And we've spent extra time on his quest this past few months - the week of deliberate wipes so he could get his extras, the extra boss, shifting raid nights to make sure he wouldn't miss boss kills...
He's burned out, I respect that. We are having a great deal of fun with Dragon Soul at the moment. I just wish I could find a way to make Firelands a bit more fun, so we could go back for that one last push.
albanesp Dec 12th 2011 2:02PM
@Burnout, I was on the Legendary quest for 5 months and can completely understand the burnout issue. If you are burned out, be honest and live with the consequences. Hopefully your guild mates will understand. The Legendary pet may be worth a few extra FL runs for your guild mates.
@Ruffled, you wrote "Yes, I know it's petty and selfish, but I'm finding it very hard to let go of the disappointment and frustration "
You are being petty and selfish only because your schedule changed and you could no longer put in the effort on the days the rest of your raid runs FL. You can't expect them to adjust their schedule around you in this case. If 4.3 had dropped and you were at 100% attendance, you would be justifiably stewed if they decided to leave your quest unfinished, but that is not the case.
I was 2 days (2 full clears) away from my Legendary when 4.3 hit and we added an extra night the first week for FL. The second week, I had to push a little bit since some were already in Full-DS-clear-in-the-first-week mode. I simply reminded them that it was BiS for casters in 4.3, would help DS progression and a shiny pet was at the finish line.
Paciphae Dec 12th 2011 1:50PM
@Ruffled: This opinion will probably be downvoted to oblivion, but since there's no other way to communicate with you, it's the only option.
I sympathize. People can rude, thoughtless and inconsiderate. If they know how you feel and aren't even willing to see your point of view, then they aren't your friends and they don't deserve you. Ditch em' and don't worry yourself about finding a new guild. There are plenty of them out there. Find one that suits your schedule and join it instead. :)
Good luck.
furrama Dec 12th 2011 9:15PM
It's a game. If the staff is more important than your guild then leave your guild and find others who will help you. Though consider first why you are angry, and what you are willing to give up to get what you want.
Is the staff more important than you guild? Or is it that the guild doesn't want to help you finish your staff and that spikes your hair? When MoP comes around and the staff is useless will you be okay away from your old guild holding your pretty/useless pixels? Are you in so deep that you need to take a step back and reevaluate your desires?
If you think your guild is really and truly being a bunch of dbags then leave. You will not be happy, they will not be happy, if you stay. If you come to understand that they can't move nights for some reason and that the legendary isn't no. 1 on their to-do-list for reasons that are not meant to slight you and you still want the legendary, then it's okay to leave also. Just don't rage quit over what isn't even a real slight against you.
Pyrha Dec 12th 2011 2:16PM
It sucks the druid can't complete his staff. From the raid lead perspective, you want the staff parts to go to a consistent raider, so he was passed over.
I sympathize that you want to get your orange, I want to get my staff finished as well, but I think TOR is gonna put a kink in that plan as the guildies start to transition over to that game.
My suggestions are two fold: 1. Remember why you enjoy the game and raiding: slaying internet dragons with your buddies. Its pretty sweet to turn into a blue dragon, but you're a druid. You honestly have flight form and its pretty baller. The gear comes and goes at this point, just enjoy doing things with your guild and if you can get the staff, awesome! If not, its just a digital item; the memories of completing content (outside of the raid finder) represent your emotional investment in the game and your value on your time spent in the hobby.
2. Play another game. If you're burning out on WoW, TOR goes live very soon. Its a new world with space opera and mystical force powers! It's pretty shiny. Or try skyrim. Its an amazing fantasy game and has a whole world to check out.
terph Dec 13th 2011 11:56AM
Oh Skyrim. This has been the best non-MMO game to supplant the WoW itch. It lets you look everywhere for delicious secrets and you don't have to wait on anyone to start at raid time!
Guapa Dec 14th 2011 4:23AM
oh yes, I agree. I already liked Oblivion but my WoW addiction was too strong back then so I only played a few hours. Now with Skyrim it's different. It's got everything I missed in Wow (great graphics, immersive story and atmosphere, player housing) and is free of all the things that annoyed me in Wow at the end (the problems and limitations that come with multiplayer games). It's even got a pause button for you to use when your phone rings in the middle of a fight with a dragon!!!
If you feel burnt out from years of WoW but you still have that gaming itch, you should definitely try out Skyrim and stay away from TOR.
No matter how good this turns out to be, it's still an MMO and if you're annoyed of WoW for the same reasons as me, chances are you will start to feel burnt out again very soon.
Bryan Dec 12th 2011 2:35PM
As far as number 2 goes here are some wise words from Spock
"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few...or the one"
noel mcleod Dec 12th 2011 2:45PM
Ahhh yess, all the reasons I don't raid ... I truly feel sorry for all of you.