WRUP: I will make sure you never buy knives again

Ladies and gentleman, there is a Twitter account I'd like you all to meet: @horse_ebooks. On its surface, it's nothing special -- just a Russian-owned Twitter spam account designed to sell (predictably) ebooks about horses. To appear as if it were a human, the account employs a comically bad algorithm that tweets seemingly random sentences fragments.
If @horse_ebooks is an attempt to pass a Turing test, it fails on every level. Little it says seems relevant to horses; nothing it says seems to make sense. It's short dispatches are internet-age poetry at its finest -- absurd works of art, all. It's my inspiration.

Allison Robert (@AllisonRobert) More effort (ultimately futile, I suspect) to get the Crawling Claw on my druid main, and then I might spend a bit of time leveling my long-neglected shaman. My alts need to start pulling their weight. Then again, what have they done for me lately? Lazy bastards. Hmm, as far as other Twitters go, I really find the tweets from @TheEconomist, @breakingnews, and @NASAJPL useful and/or interesting. Sadly, most of the funny novelty Twitterers I followed have stopped posting.
Anne Stickney (@Shadesogrey) I am finally, finally, finally going to get around to finishing the bookshelf I've been working on. Unless my new computer shows up, in which case I'm going to be configuring the heck out of that. Oh, and I'm going to watch Tebow either get royally smushed or pull some sort of miracle out of his rear end on Saturday. Other than that, a little raiding, a little Skyrim. Bonus question: I've been reading @hipstermermaid via everyone's retweets for long enough that I finally started following myself. You should too.
Chase Hasbrouck (@alarondruid) Tried a bit of Skyrim, but it has yet to really hook me. In contrast, Saints Row 3 is incredibly awesome, but I can see it starting to wear out its welcome. Bonus: @riftmaker (Druids gotta stick together, ya dig?)

Daniel Whitcomb (@DanielWhitcomb) My Trooper in SWTOR just finished her Act II quests, so I'm hoping to get through a good chunk of Act III this weekend if I can. For The Republic! If I trim out the NSFW people I follow, @KenJennings is actually pretty funny, in an extremely dorky way. Luckily, I am extremely dorky, so it works out.
Elizabeth Wachowski (@leeatwaterlives) I've sort of been missing Fallout lately, so I might pick up New Vegas again and make my way through the DLC. And I really want to get my renegade FemShep ready for ME3, but man, the original Mass Effect is such a slog compared to the second one. Maybe I'll just skip all the option missions and planet-exploring and just get the main storyline done.
Fox Van Allen (@foxvanallen) (gplus.to/foxvanallen) I finished painting last night, so this weekend is all about play, not work. Maybe I'll even do some charity work -- @horse_ebooks, do you have any suggestions?

Kelly Aarons (@Cadistra) I'm on a creative kick, so lots of drawing to do this weekend. Can hopefully get to my 360 and finish up Trine 2 and Bastion. Bonus question -- because I know everyone and their tennis trainers' dog will choose @horse_ebooks, I'm going to say @thaRadBrad, because he's funny and does amazing LPs (Let's Plays).
Mathew McCurley (@gomatgo) I'm going to be spending this weekend at the party I'm throwing at my place. It's going to rule. I love having people over. WoW, SW:TOR, and other games will dot the nights.

Olivia Grace (@oliviadgrace) Finally finished my essays for a month or so, so I can chill out and do some serious gaming. I'll be powerleveling through some Dungeon Finder and giving Hellgate: London a go to see if it's as buggy as everyone says. Oh, and trying to avoid the fact that I'm turning 29 on monday. Yeah. And I'd advise everyone to follow @wowcynwise. Funny, interesting guy.
Robin Torres (@cosmiclaurel) We'll be playing the Disneyland game on Saturday and the sleeping it off game on Sunday. Oh and then there's Monday, which The Spawn has off, when I will be playing the trying to get work done game. There are so many Tweeps I'd like to recommend, but since I must pick one, I choose @thebloggess. Be careful not to be drinking when you read her stuff though. I will not be held responsible for monitor cleanup.
Filed under: WoW Insider Business






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Caylynn Jan 13th 2012 8:11PM
Well, the semester has started up again, so this graduate student will be doing plenty of reading and making of notes on Saturday. Then on Sunday I'm going to get certified as a group cycling instructor, to complement my group fitness instructor and my stability ball certifications, and my Zumba license.
Of course, WoW will be played when I need a break, and TinyTower lives eternal on my iPad.
I don't do much on twitter. Don't do much on any social media, actually. Yes, I'm an old fogey. :P
Bryan Dare Jan 13th 2012 8:43PM
Thank you for that, Fox. So amusing. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get some Green Salad Lettuce Salad
Revynn Jan 13th 2012 8:44PM
Happy birthday Olivia, I'm right there with you since I turn 28 tomorrow.
Olivia Grace Jan 13th 2012 9:54PM
Thanks! But you're a year younger than me.... /cry
Kole Jan 13th 2012 8:59PM
...and that is the reason I don't follow Fox anymore. The Horse ebook crap is annoying enough without it being retweeted by people you follow.
VioletArrows Jan 14th 2012 1:13AM
Honestly, I hate the whole horse ebooks thing too. Thankfully there's a button under people's profiles that removes whatever retweets they do without unfollowing them.
Unfortunately, for every person who loses their retweet privileges, another seems to think that same stupid bot is funny. :/ I seriously don't get it.
jeffbr Jan 13th 2012 9:01PM
Never forget: All three components need to be in harmony or you can end with a tattoo disaster. Think about it.
Seizurebleak Jan 13th 2012 9:04PM
Thumbs up if you didn't finish reading the article, but are now an avid follower of horse_ebooks.
Meh Jan 13th 2012 9:05PM
Rubber Rubber. Rubber. Rubber Rubber Rubber Rubber Rubber Rubber Rubber. Rubber belting, packing, gaskets, and hose boots and shoes boots,
Tokkar Jan 13th 2012 9:40PM
How to Deal with Robberies! How to Put On and Take Off Boxes!
RothKeahi Jan 14th 2012 12:43AM
Dear Friend, I was in your shoes
Lars Petersson Jan 14th 2012 6:54PM
Hah, that was my thought exactly. I have no time for twitter twits, but that feed is funny...
Tokkar Jan 15th 2012 2:28AM
Stuttering Memory Improvement | Last Longer | New Career | Self Discipline | Martial Arts Management Skills | Release Orgasm | Stage Fright
And Fox's reply: @Horse_ebooks one of these things is not like the others; one of these things just doesn't belong.
LMAO!!!
grendelstein Jan 13th 2012 11:21PM
The twitter account is sending out partial sentences from different web pages - you can search for the partial sentences w/ quotes and get the original source.
RothKeahi Jan 14th 2012 12:42AM
But they are so much better as partials...
Al Jan 14th 2012 1:03AM
"because he's funny and does amazing LPs (Let's Plays)."
Bah, LPs will always mean something else to me.
Possum Jan 14th 2012 6:26AM
What? Other than my initials?
Possum Jan 14th 2012 6:27AM
Oh I looked it up. Now I feel stupid!
Al Jan 14th 2012 8:58AM
And I feel old. If we count your initials, I'm counting a friend from school, so that makes three uses for LP I'll use.
musicchan Jan 14th 2012 12:36PM
Don't feel old. I also thought of the former use for LP.
But I had to look it up because I don't remember what the L and the P stand for! XD