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2-01-2012 @ 2:37PM
"There are words in the English language that I will not use, which is why this post has not been peppered with terms that I don't feel comfortable laying out there for you to read. But as I think about it, I wonder why I am so uncomfortable with saying them, writing them, or even thinking them."This is simple, for me anyway. There are a lot of words that I could choose to be offended by, but I don't let them offend me. Some people aren't as thick skinned. Some people don't know how to brush it off. It is for them that I don't use these words. It boils down to empathy - I don't want to be hurt, and I don't want to be the source of someone else's hurt, because I know how it feels to be degraded. Even though the receiver of these words is the one truly responsible for the power they carry, perhaps they don't realize it or know how to overcome it.Maybe your reluctance is due to empathy as well.People rant about their freedom of expression, or political correctness getting in the way of their ability to offend, but just being a nice person isn't so bad. It will get you much further in life than the guy who spews toxicity and blame wherever he goes.
2-01-2012 @ 2:54PM
See, to me, I think that is a deluded and desensitized way to look at things. Basically, the victim is at fault. I think that is total bullshit. To treat people with respect you must have a sense of respect for yourself.
2-01-2012 @ 2:57PM
Noyou, I think your reading comprehension skills might be lacking.By not being offended by slurs, I am respecting myself.By not perpetuating slurs, I am respecting others.Where did I say the victim is at fault?
2-01-2012 @ 3:04PM
Have to agree with Caz. Also, just because a person isn't offended by certain words, doesn't mean that person is going to mouth off tons of offensive words every day to everyone he meets. You can still respect that other people might be offended, and use a different word for a crappy situation rather than one that resembles a bundle of sticks.
2-01-2012 @ 3:09PM
@CazThat's fine. I respectfully chose not to get into a flame war with you. I am not going to insult you education level. Everyone comprehends and processes things different. Fact of life.
2-01-2012 @ 3:14PM
One of my previous supervisors told me something once that has stuck with me ever since. I used to make calls to people who were delinquent with loan payments, I would just basically remind them how much is due, when it's due, and try to find out if they'd be paying anytime soon.I got so much hate directed at me by customers, it hurt. I hated doing it.Anyway, my supervisor looked me in the eye and said, "That is their anger, and you don't own it."I've since used that every day of my life.I don't own their thoughts or feelings, I don't own their anger or hatered. I choose not to.
2-01-2012 @ 3:19PM
"Even though the receiver of these words is the one truly responsible for the power they carry" In my world, that is saying the object of an insult is responsible for determining whether something is offensive or not. That to me is saying, the victim is responsible for the crime. If a parent tells their child, "you stupid piece of shit" or a spouse calls their better half, "A no good worthless whore"- those are just words that they should "brush off" or have a "thicker skin"?
2-01-2012 @ 3:53PM
@ NoyouI see your point, but I think we're talking about two very different things. Insulting someone by calling them a stupid piece of shit is just mean-spirited. Mean people suck.I'm gay - and you can call me a faggot all you want - I don't have to get upset about it, and in fact I don't. That's what i'm talking about when I said to let it slide off. The person being called names ether chooses to let insults bother them, or they choose to stand proud and say "So what?" The power is not with the person calling me names, nor is the power in the word. It's thier problem, not mine. The power is mine. I choose my fate, I choose my emotions, and I choose my reactions to slurs based in ignorance, biggotry and fear.
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